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confusedbyself
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Default Aug 17, 2016 at 07:59 PM
  #1
Sorry, i vanished for a while (a slump that keeps me away from sites)........... Well, after several talks with my t about how things are in me, he said it sounded like DID and went on to explain why it happens and what it means. I felt wrong asking so many questions in here when that wasn't my official diagnosis but now.......

Still trying to understand so many things. I was wondering if everyone's alters have am age feeling about them. I often feel "No age at all" and i kinda busy go on what icall autopilot... but then there are times like right now where I feel completely different then I did just hours ago and want to cry, give up on everything, full of conscious and overwhelming self hate asks more, but unlike the times I feel different and a different age, this time I still feel no age but so really different.

Do you all have switches that don't involve feeling age change?
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Default Aug 17, 2016 at 08:21 PM
  #2
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Originally Posted by confusedbyself View Post
Sorry, i vanished for a while (a slump that keeps me away from sites)........... Well, after several talks with my t about how things are in me, he said it sounded like DID and went on to explain why it happens and what it means. I felt wrong asking so many questions in here when that wasn't my official diagnosis but now.......

Still trying to understand so many things. I was wondering if everyone's alters have am age feeling about them. I often feel "No age at all" and i kinda busy go on what icall autopilot... but then there are times like right now where I feel completely different then I did just hours ago and want to cry, give up on everything, full of conscious and overwhelming self hate asks more, but unlike the times I feel different and a different age, this time I still feel no age but so really different.

Do you all have switches that don't involve feeling age change?
for me when I dissociated into an alter I would become that alters age, even if they did not have an age that they could tell someone I still was that alters "age"

age here in america is a standard that is set according to one....how many times the earth revolves around the sun, one trip around the sun equals a year, this is called chronological\biological age. then human beings have developmental mild stones mentally and physically that is met that marks that childs developmental age, mental maturity age...

example when I switched into Rainy even though when asked how old she was she would say she has no age, from what she did, how she behaved, how she spoke, what language \wording she spoke, clothing, toys in short her sense of agency showed she was 6 years old. so when i switched into rainy thats how old I was...doing things a 6 year old would do, speaking like a 6 year old, wearing clothing styles that reflected a 6 year old, playing with toys, tv shows and such that a 6 year old would when i was 6 years old.

another example when I switched into thelma dispite the fact that she was not aged her sense of agency showed she was a sexually active which put her mental maturity at a teen ager to adult hood understanding of relationships and sex.

my point...no matter what age or lack there of with my alters when I switched into them thats what went on, each of my alters had their own sense of agency which means when ever I switched into them thats what I would be...

on the other hand now that I am integrated I rarely feel my age or any age, for me age is just the number of how many years i have been alive since birth to present....what I feel mentally isnt ages its feelings like happy sad, anger, excitement a full range of emotions. and physically well I feel like an adult woman physically, age is just a number and doesnt define who I am and what I can and cant do, just like most normal people that I know, I dont wake up in the morning and think I feel like a teen ager today, I wake up and say I am feeling well rested and happy today.
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Default Aug 17, 2016 at 08:52 PM
  #3
when the others are more active or when i can feel them, the feelings from them are different from mine. that can also involve knowing roughly the age range of them but not knowing who it is name wise. but sometimes, i will be able to figure out who it is coming from name wise or based on the feeling. not all have ages or names though, but i generally can tell the gender for those ones.

i don't feel like it is 'me' who changes necessarily with episodes...though sometimes their feelings CAN mix with mine which can confuse me cuz i can't figure out what is mine versus theirs. it's a lot of variations and mixes.

there can be what is called, i think, bleeding through of feelings and also passive influence where they can kind of do things from the inside/from a distance instead of actually coming out and taking control of the body. i have a lot of that kind of thing. but i also have had them do things from the inside that affect how i walk, talk, see, hear, etc. or sometimes they have spoken for a few seconds here and there (that is rare and only seems to happen in therapy).

there are also different dissociative experiences i have outside of the other parts affecting things which includes derealization and depersonalization. they cause me to feel distanced/disconnected from my surroundings/self and like things aren't real, etc., so there can be an overlap of that too which can be the feeling of being on auto pilot.
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Default Aug 17, 2016 at 09:28 PM
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Originally Posted by confusedbyself View Post
Sorry, i vanished for a while (a slump that keeps me away from sites)........... Well, after several talks with my t about how things are in me, he said it sounded like DID and went on to explain why it happens and what it means. I felt wrong asking so many questions in here when that wasn't my official diagnosis but now.......

Still trying to understand so many things. I was wondering if everyone's alters have am age feeling about them. I often feel "No age at all" and i kinda busy go on what icall autopilot... but then there are times like right now where I feel completely different then I did just hours ago and want to cry, give up on everything, full of conscious and overwhelming self hate asks more, but unlike the times I feel different and a different age, this time I still feel no age but so really different.

Do you all have switches that don't involve feeling age change?
I never feel my age. The body is like 48 and I'm not even 30 yet. I feel 30, but we are more than half dead?

Our Others are of all ages. Only the workers feel closer to it because our life has been about work, so they have been out the most till now.
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Default Aug 18, 2016 at 03:44 AM
  #5
Welcome. Officially?
But you know this forum is for dissociative disorders... and probably the bulk of people with those do not have DID. What I mean to say is if anyone has a problem with any kind of dissociation they belong here. It isn't just for those with DID. You belonged here before your t said the DID words, is what I mean.
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Default Aug 18, 2016 at 11:02 PM
  #6
Thank you all! There are sooo many confusing things in all this and I sure appreciate your insights, it really helps me see and understand what is similar or different between me and others. It's impossible to know what others experience and this is the best way I have found to better understand.. thank you
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Default Aug 20, 2016 at 03:30 PM
  #7
Yes, some don't involve an age difference in how I feel. Basically this comes with time especially if you don't have children then you don't realize what the age differences are in yourself. I don't have older teens and young adults bio-children so it is not that easy to know exactly what an older teen or young adult might do as a alter, without communication although i have communication, just for an instance with what their dialogue running on about. If I got creative I could always watch television and music and ask for a personal difference (my lingo someone in the system from the same state something similar they might take to for learning) That especially works for me since I have a lot of various introjects and fictives. It is about full consciousness of everything that happens with experiences and time in therapy. Be as patient as you can!

A sloppy wipe of your face might be an indication of child for snot...Sometimes it can be subtle that an younger age is near the front
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Default Aug 21, 2016 at 10:53 AM
  #8
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Thank you all! There are sooo many confusing things in all this and I sure appreciate your insights, it really helps me see and understand what is similar or different between me and others. It's impossible to know what others experience and this is the best way I have found to better understand.. thank you
my suggestion is not to worry about trying to compare or understand how others are similar vs different... each persons internal system is comprised differently.

short version... here in the USA we have uniform ....diagnostics....that every system must meet before a treatment provider can label them with any mental disorder including dissociative ones.

but because how each persons.....symptoms and triggers (which is different than diagnostics)....affect their self, their life and those around them two people can have the same mental disorder but still be different in which symptoms they have and how these symptoms affect their self, their life and those around them...

example a friend and I both had DID..... she heard voices, I rarely heard voices, I felt a sense of sinking, she felt a sense of floating, I dissociated into an alter during storms, she did not, she dissociated into an alter when she heard the word bread, I did not. I dissociated into an alter during intimacy she did not, She dissociated around great bodies of water I love the water.

another example both a friend and I have depression... though we both met the ....diagnostics.... for it, our symptoms and triggers are different. she gets an overwhelming sadness during the summers, I have overwhelming sadness in winter, she has trouble getting out of bed, I have no trouble getting out of bed when depressed, ....

see what I mean trying to figure out how people are different and the same with mental disorders ends up being a losing battle that only ends up causing more confusion and problems.

the best thing to do is not to try and figure out someone else's mental disorders and how they are the same or different from you but rather continue working with your own treatment providers in figuring out how your own mental disorder is the same and different for you in ways that affect your life, and those in contact with you.

example I noticed that when I was with one person I tended to be more dissociative than with another person. I noticed when things were calm I dissociated less than when my schedule was hectic, I noticed differences and similarities in each of my alters and symptoms... doing this helped me to understand me, my mental disorder and how to gain stability while living with a mental disorder.
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Default Aug 21, 2016 at 01:52 PM
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Thank you all! There are sooo many confusing things in all this and I sure appreciate your insights, it really helps me see and understand what is similar or different between me and others. It's impossible to know what others experience and this is the best way I have found to better understand.. thank you
Just keep reading and noting the similarities and differences, much like one would do in AA or NA.

Sure trigger and response will be different to each system, but thats just due to a persons past experiences.

Some have a few alters while others can have tons. To the basics, something happened (trigger) to cause the mind to dissociate resulting in an alter to emerge to deal with the situation. Some minds are prone to dissociate more than others, like my brain trips at most everything moment to moment. Just meeting or looking at a person can iniate a switch, or cooking or driving or sex or drugs or food or signs or words or emotions or people or animals or....

You'll have them aha moments when you start discovering your system. Like just a while ago I realized that all these body movements like tapping, fingering, hand gestures, stance, rubbing, are not me. I use to think that it was just what my brain wanted to do automatically and paid it no mind, but now I can tell its an Other doing it. How many times I grabbed my arm and said "quit!" Lol. Sometimes I got to shake it off.

This is nothing to stress over even though it does get stressful at times, even down right frustrating. But hey, we've been this way for pretty much most of our life, so it's really nothing new, just the recognition and awareness of whats already been going on.

You have embarked on a journey of self-discovery, some really cool and some not so cool. Good luck with that and keep us posted.
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Default Dec 17, 2020 at 11:36 AM
  #10
Thank you for sharing.
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Default Dec 21, 2020 at 02:15 AM
  #11
I think it is common for alters to just age with the body. I didn't even know littles were a regular thing or assumed that when an alter did stay little it meant they were dormant for a long time. Because of what causes the disorder in the first place it makes sense that there would be child alters but they may not always front so it also makes sense that you might not experience a change in age all the time.

- Acula
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