[TrailRunner14]

This has been circling in my mind for the past few days. I wanted to share my thoughts and see if anyone related.

So.

Being Broken.

Broken, as in the sense that you are corrected, punished or whatever other words you want to use to imply that you were purposely put to the point where you had to submit, out of fear and you gave up. You submitted out of fear. You obeyed. You were ok because you obeyed and did what you were told.

and

Accepting Being Broken.

You realize that you were/are broken. It's not pushed in your face and it's a relief to know. You want to gift the hurt away to be ok. You want to give up the anger of the brokenness to allow the weight to lift. To give it willingly, to let it be ok.

I just have the image in my mind of an animal being "broken" but that can be accomplished in different ways. It can be done in love or with such sternness that it is wounding and damaging. With love there is a connection of safety and security, knowing what is right and wrong. With the sternness, there is such wounding that maybe cannot be fixed.

Being Broken keeps me a captive of my past. Accepting Being Broken, I want to believe, frees me up for healing and growing. Maybe?

I've been listening to a song that talks to me about this.

I would like to share it, if anyone would like to hear it.

Here are the lyrics, if you would like to read them.

This is where the walls gave way
This is demolition day
All the debris, and all this dust
What is left of what once was
Sorting through what goes and what should stay

Every stone I laid for You
As if You had asked me to
A monument to Holy things
Empty talk and circling
Isn’t that what we’re supposed to do

What happens now
When all I’ve made is torn down
What happens next
When all of You, is all that’s left

This is the unmaking
The beauty in the breaking
Had to lose myself
To find out who You are
Before each beginning
There must be an ending
Sitting in the rubble
I can see the stars
This is the unmaking

The longer and the tighter that we hold
Only makes it harder to let go
But love will not stay locked inside
A steeple or a tower high
Only when we’re broken, are we whole

What happens now
When all I’ve made is torn down

This is the unmaking
The beauty in the breaking
Had to lose myself
To find out who You are
Before each beginning
There must be an ending
Sitting in the rubble
I can see the stars
This is the unmaking
This is the unmaking

I’ll gather the same stones where
Everything came crashing down
I’ll build You an altar there
On the same ground

‘Cause what stood before
Was never Yours

This is the unmaking
The beauty in the breaking
Had to lose myself
To find out who You are
Before each beginning
There must be an ending
Sitting in the rubble
I can see the stars
This is the unmaking
This is the unmaking
Oh, this is the unmaking

Had to lose myself
To find out who You are


Happy New Year!!

Thank you for hearing me!!

Broken is a good term to use to describe m.i., especially did.

I've often thought of this word in it's application to early me. Much like a horse is broken, but much worse as a human.

Broken in spirit, hope, heart, mind, and body.

Broken by being subjected to extreme stress through trauma. Broken by ongoing abuse be it mental, emotional, physical and/or sexual.

Broken implies one wasn't broke before, whether it be a minute or a few years. Being broken is a normal life stolen not by our hands, but by other happenings or by the hands of others.

Our spirit was broken into submission by the mean spirited will of narcissistic parents through all the abuses....to obey and to do the will of the adults no questions asked. They patted themselves on their backs as they ruled with a heavy hand, treated like annoyances. We were broke before we were broken which fragmented the fragmented.

Broken can be fixed, or broken can be forever. We are forever more. Broken is often discarded, rejected, useless, easily forgotten, replaced. Broken is depressing, lonely, unwanted. Broken can have a bleak future. Broken revels in fear.

Acceptance of being broken is inevitable over time, even if it's permanent. Time does not heal all wounds.

Broken is hopeless.

[Fuzzybear]

[Lost_in_the_woods]

That is a beautiful song.. haunting. We have been broken thru out our lives so many times...it sometimes becomes hard to understand how the body still goes on with the mind so incredibly shattered....

[TrailRunner14]

Thank you for hearing me! My mind has been circling around this all day.

I don't have words except for the song. There is truth there.

[TrailRunner14]

Being broken. The aloneness that's there. There has to be another freeing side of acknowledging it. Accepting it. Leaning into it.

I don't know. There is something there.

[Lost_in_the_woods]

"Freedom's just another word for nothin left to lose."