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  #1  
Old Oct 02, 2016, 02:39 PM
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elevatedsoul elevatedsoul is offline
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triggering

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  #2  
Old Oct 02, 2016, 02:41 PM
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catman8989 catman8989 is offline
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Love this song.
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"I know what it's like. I know what it's like to make your memories go away. You can make new memories; good ones. Good memories can save your life."
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  #3  
Old Oct 02, 2016, 03:21 PM
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elevatedsoul elevatedsoul is offline
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touches my soul, elevated turmoil
sides with pride, come with stride
comply, force, comply
all the time just asking why
stuff inside to make one cry
believe the truth or believe the lie
someone step for me
i beg you once please
set me free and let me be
times come around, without sound
vision is on a mission, something of submission
collisions imminent, memories dont discriminate
too much on my plate, if anyone can relate
minds losing place, gone to outer space...
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  #4  
Old Oct 02, 2016, 04:30 PM
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  #5  
Old Oct 02, 2016, 08:03 PM
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TrailRunner14 TrailRunner14 is offline
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Thinking of you! I hope that you are in a better place!

No words.

Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you.
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  #6  
Old Oct 04, 2016, 10:45 AM
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elevatedsoul elevatedsoul is offline
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the blender is running...
be tender and cunning...

im not able to place in to words the stuff coming forward
my dreams, are they what they seem? or are they thoughts unseen
a dream unreal, or some first hand deal
i listen, yet my world curls, to be coiled.. the good fruit spoiled
fear, this is what i hear.. the bad persons near, whispering in my ear
your life is mine, i torment you because you deserve it
they didnt love me, so my hate is for you to see

psychosis, the way it drags everyone down with them...
second chances? why when the 4th and 5th failed as well
but to whom they speak, we grow mighty weak...
to be pushed out, for life to go on without..
the one driving, no one thriving... is this surviving?

what is the purpose to hold the bad ones away... just let it finish and conclude
so confused...
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  #7  
Old Oct 04, 2016, 06:50 PM
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what do you do when you know there are no escape, you move the pain
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  #8  
Old Oct 04, 2016, 08:36 PM
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"Fragile"
(feat. Kendall Morgan, Kendrick Lamar & ˇMayday!)

[Verse 1 — Wrekonize & Bernz:]
You said you'd never ever break... down
But here I am sweeping... pieces off of the ground
You said you'd never, ever play... to crowds
But I've seen you hoping to play songs to them now
I've spent all night long scared of tomorrow, broke my alarm
Everything is almost lost, pick it up slow, before it's gone...

[Hook — Wrekonize & Kendall Morgan:]
We're fragile
(Wish I'd have known)
I never thought I'd be so fragile
(You're not alone)
If it didn't break before it's about to
(We've been here before)
I don't ever want to change
I'm fragile
I don't ever...

[Verse 2 — Tech N9ne:]
Some of the people appointed to give an opinion
Never do get it
I want you to come on and gobble a jimmy and... die
N9na be giving the remedy and why?
Critics are really the enemy and I
Can't stand the way they slam today's gifted
Effin' incredible, get fanned away with grands to pay
This jam will lay scripted
Deaf and impeccable
Write a rhyme and I put everything in a flow
I'm the N9ne I'm a look very mean
When a foe scribe a line but he has never been at a show
By the times it'll be better, leave it in the sto.
Cause they wrote nothin' but lies, quotes stuck in my eyes
Amateur writer dissin'
He's a beginner and hopes for your demise, folks some may despise
Never do try to listen
It's real - I'm mad
Clueless when you scribble on your pad
How you gonna criticize with a chisel on your nads sizzling your ad.
You don't really get why I'm so pissed? Understand this: (understand this)
I'm an artist, and I'm sensitive about my ****, yes I'm

[Hook]

[Verse 3 — Kendrick Lamar:]
Tell me that I'm famous
Tell me that my name is
Big as Venus Jupiter and then Uranus
Tell me that your **** got your head in it
I can smell the articles and know you're heinous
Tell me that you love me, always thinkin' of me
Unconditional, I'm hoping I'm your favourite
Grab a fishing pole and throw me with the sharks
That's the feelin' I get when you're concentratin'
On this pen, on this pad
Tell me you're willin' to diss on my craft
Tell me the feelin' of pickin' apart this track
Stop...
Puttin' my heart and my soul in these lines
Tellin' me platinum and gold all the time
Lookin' to bury, a deep hole for mine
Drop...
This is more than you, and this is more than you
And your entire building slanderin' and abusin'
What I call the realest comin' from a student
Told myself to use a poem as an UZI
Empty magazine, I seen a magazine
You seen my trigger finger, then I started shootin'
That was nicotine, I'm bout to smoke 'em all
And journalists involved should've known my music
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  #9  
Old Oct 05, 2016, 05:15 PM
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elevatedsoul elevatedsoul is offline
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i knew, but what do i do?
he be here, but what do i do?
i try to stay, but im gone
i need someone save me
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  #10  
Old Oct 05, 2016, 09:23 PM
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elevatedsoul elevatedsoul is offline
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because no one can understand, they dont, and they dont seem want to try, what i do?
so its me... im the problem... its my faults...
but how i can be normal when i hear the things i hear, when things theey do what they do....
whats the pont.... i try... why i tired of trying... please you know... take me out of this situation you god forsaken blessed art thou holy.... wont happen.... what a demon...
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  #11  
Old Oct 06, 2016, 01:35 PM
lucidity11 lucidity11 is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2015
Location: new york
Posts: 286
Quote:
Originally Posted by elevatedsoul View Post
what do you do when you know there are no escape, you move the pain
An escape for me is when I am able to be conscious of the moment I am in now. When I am sitting in a chair in my safe apartment, when I consciously remind myself that no one will molest me here, or beat me here, or be cruel to me here. That all of that fear I feel is real but belongs to events that are not in my life today, or tomorrow or the next day or the next. That my fear, anger, sadness, self denigrating is based on events that don't exist any more. And never will exist again. I am physically free from that sick violence and now I need to free my mind, so that my mind and body are living together in the present. I can't always hold on to that escape and I slide back into ways that protected me in the past. But I make the effort to put myself in the present even if it's only for a moment. And I feel alive.
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Thanks for this!
TrailRunner14
  #12  
Old Oct 06, 2016, 01:55 PM
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elevatedsoul elevatedsoul is offline
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that would work for me as well if i could get out
im still in the middle of some things and dont really have anywhere to go...
but im trying so hard... i just hope that i can hold it together.. but then what happens when i get out? my life will be so upside down it may seem worse, i dont know what it would feel like to feel safe and free

my mind has not been cooperating lately due to even more added... triggers...
but im ok.. i keep telling myself, im ok!
im not sure what i am anymore, lost, so lost and confused

i just try to breathe and then the next thing i know im waking up to a new morning and the day disappears again and im just having a hard time keeping up..
trying to be happy but its hard when so many parts of your being are not

thanks for your kindness <3
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  #13  
Old Jan 10, 2017, 09:38 AM
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elevatedsoul elevatedsoul is offline
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so poetic, i wonder if my therapist would like to hear some of those poems..

i just am disturbed by not being able to remember these things...
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