[MtnTime2896]

How did you find out you had alters?

Were they dormant or did no one realize it was happening?

[Luce]

They came out in therapy and therapist told us about them. After that two of them 'introduced' themselves to our hosty one of the time in a therapy session. The hosty one 'kind of' recognized them... as in her response was like "Oh, so that's why xyz - that was you!" She realized upon meeting them that she had known them all along, but 'without knowing', if you will.
Others we then met through our own internal process and inner work. I don't believe we have met all of them yet. We have some pretty big gaps to fill. Not gaps as in time gaps, but gaps as in areas of life that nobody owns, we don't know who takes care of it.

[MtnTime2896]

Thank you for responding. If I may ask another question:

Did your host of the time and/or any of the others get scared at first to find out? Like, did one of you know but kept the host in the dark?

I don't know if that made sense, but I gave it a try. You don't have to answer if you don't want to.

[Luce]

Yes, totally. There are different groups of alters in here and some groups have always had some knowledge of others. Like the two that first presented themselves to the hosty one were two child parts - one older, one younger. The older one had always protected the younger one. And the older one was quite aware of the hosty one. Some alters had little awareness of others, and some had more. But the hosty one of the time was in denial about the DID for a very long time - she swung back and forth between acceptance and denial for years, even when the evidence was slapped in her face time and time again.

[MtnTime2896]

Okay, thank you for answering these questions. It's really helpful and I appreciate all of your time.

[finding_my_way]

i knew about some of them my whole life but didn't know they were other parts until i was in my teen years and read things online/met others online who had DID and pieced things together on my own. i wasn't sure it was actually DID since at that point, there were no clear black outs even though the time distortion was really big, and the switching was like a revolving door. but i met them when they decided to introduce themselves and/or heard them talking inside and at one point was able to talk with several of them.

it took a few years to get an accurate diagnosis because for a long time, they all went quiet but then became active again. i was then able to share about them in therapy.

i thought that i was just delusional or something and still have times where i am in denial about it because things can be quiet for a while or more subtle than they were years ago.

i do not know if they all know about each other or who knows who. i only know that i know many of them, or at least bits and pieces of things about of many of them.

[L.P.]

Different people in my system would have different responses to this kind of question. Some knew they were not alone in here but lacked the vocabulary/understanding to be able to say they had DID. Others were unaware and had different ways to explain/rationalize what was happening.

-V

When the body was in it's teens decades ago, we knew but voted ignorance in keeping it a secret from the world and ourselves. I always thought that the voices were my thoughts as we collaborated as a group on day to day life. It got really confusing at times, but never gave it a second thought because this was normal. Forgetting about DID over the years.... until my x talked about how she was watching a show about DID....then it all came back out of denial. It became real a year ago. So we all knew in head...but we chose to not acknowledge it.

It's hard to accept that there is something wrong mentally with one's self. Even finding out that one is bipolar.. there is a bit of denial there. It's just so icky feeling. But to discover that you are also a part out of parts....the bottom can fall out. To find out that you are not as in control of your life, body, and mind can be soul crushing to some. We have Others that are still in denial or unsure. There is plenty of "why me?" To be had.

It can be scary for some parts, but I also have other parts that thinks this is really kewl. So...it depends upon the parts feeling about it. Of course we lack a host...more like a group of mains here. Who ever our life is centered around is the host...but that changes often...and you can only know by looking back into the past.

[MtnTime2896]

This has been very helpful. Thanks everyone.

[Michael W. Harris]

Originally Posted by Só leigheas

How did you find out you had alters?

Were they dormant or did no one realize it was happening?

Usually the family that causes a toddler to be traumatized is so dysfunctional they promote the dissociation. They are so insensitive that they do not see anything wrong. They do not communicate with the child enough to really know the child's personality. So over years the dissociation is reinforced by the dysfunctional family. Late in life when the person is no longer around the dysfunctional family that caused him/her to be dissociative, the person starts to recognized the problems going on in his/her relationships and life in general. This happens many times before there is knowledge of the alters.

I realized that I had a dissociative disorder in 1989 to 1992. I had no knowledge of my alters except from my dysfunctional personal relationships. I still do not know my alters. I just know that they exist. I have a few memories of them. Most of us who get a dissociative diagnosis have loved ones who care enough about us to see that there is something wrong and get involved with the mental health treatment. For people like me who have no significant others that care, it is extremely hard to get help. When I applied for SSI through the Social Security Office, a staff member asked me about loved ones that could verify the mental illness. I told him that that was the problem! I had no one who cared.

[Michael W. Harris]

I would like to also point out that my wives/lovers could have proven that I was dissociative by talking with my therapists about the communication that went on. But because my alters act out verbally, they just thought I was an asshole. If they would have communicated with me appropriately they would have found out that I do not remember many of the things that I say. I cannot defend myself against this! This was the only way that I could prove that I was having amnesia about portions of my life! I got no help.

Proving episodes of amnesia/memory loss is critical in getting a dissociative diagnosis and getting treatment.

I now know that my Mom had regular contact/communication with my alters. I don't think she could tell the difference. My alters do not have different names and none of them look like the werewolf so I believe that is why my dysfunctional family members never saw anything wrong. Of course they did not think they were abusing me either.

I recently told my brother that I thought our parents learned their parenting skills from a pet rock! When I think back on my parents parenting skills now, I cannot believe it. What I went through as a child was total insanity. The only saving grace for me and the reason that my alters are not that different from me is that the physical abuse was never extremely violent. I know some of you were extremely violently abused.