This is more of a vent...

Our out of control teen boy is failing school, staying out late, partying, has a meaningless girlfriend, court dates, disrespectfulness, costly....

Our bills have doubled since the seperation...

We keep having constant switches at work that we now know we feel and look weird there which is bugging us...

Have inner strife on physical appearance bringing about conflict in and out...

Uncontrollable alcoholic beverage consumption....

One dog died and the other blind one requires constant attention...

Our inside is being in grave conflict....

We have antoginizers both here at home and at work because some of the heavy hitters ran their tongue but we switch too much for them to back it up plus the c-ptsd...constant stress.... constant terrorism...

Feelings of being trapped...rejected...weird...constantly changing points of view....unstabile...embarrassed...tired, rejected, mocked, hated, weird, unappreciated, over worked, alone, mentally sick, used, desire forever sleep but denied...

Thanks for letting me vent.

Yes....and I/we still feel that way...sober.

We are undergoing a change....a swing in control. The guys have assumed outward image control and are making physical changes. It's just safer that way....to become more socially acceptable, hidden and unseen....less of a target.

As far as dealing with everything else.....idk.

We can never manage to last a year on a job because people are watching...and can see what I can't see. It's very hard to endure.