[amandalouise]

I have been here on Psych central for many years now, those that know me understand what my posts mean even when they are not worded exactly the way they think they should be. Translators are not perfect. they are cold, formal and sometimes put the wrong words in, or turn things into gobble dee gook that no one can understand. Then there are my actual words are different than most people, I grew up in a place where one word means many things and sometimes different than other places, I also have an education that can sometimes drive people a bit nuts.

there are some new people here and some longer time ones that may not remember a few of my tips in understanding my posts which means my posts may upset them....

so for the new people and a review for others that may be having a problem with my posts....

first.... usually when I post I quote the person I am directing my post to or I place the members name with in my reply... if you dont see the quote or the name or havent made a reply in the thread then obviously my post is not directed to you but to those participating in the thread.

Occasionally on busy days I will use quick reply. but again my posts are directed to either the original poster, the quoted person or to an issue that is being discussed in the thread so again if you are just reading and not participating in a thread then of course my post is not directed to you or about you. (its so easy to assume a post is about each other when in fact it isnt, on sites like this)

Second.... no you did not miss my post the first time around. I like having an extra pair of eyes, extra point of view for me to consider, on my posts. Im a busy mom, wife and career woman who sometimes has a bad or off day. I dont want my bad days affecting anyone here. it just takes longer for my posts to go through to the boards because i like having that help of extra eyes on my posts. this is not a reflection of those reading or the site,

third....I use the ignore feature. so please understand my lack of responses / replies to someone is no reflection on whether I believe them or whether I feel they have or dont have a problem.

I have many reasons why I use the ignore feature, one being someone has asked me to place them on ignore, another being I may be having a hard day, another may be that I have noticed my posts tend to trigger someone so I have placed them on my ignore as a reminder to ......me....... not to post to them, and yes I do use the ignore feature when I encounter posts or posters that happen to trigger my emotions.

my fighting and lashing out at others is not right in my opinion so rather than fighting with someone here I choose to use my ignore list and leave the other person to taking care of their self.

forth... I am not an expert here, I make this clear in my posts by using statements about how my own life is, my own problems are and suggest who I am replying to, contact their own treatment providers.

my posts do sometimes go into more formal information about disorders. this is because I have those disorders, those problems or know friends and family with those problems.

but that formal information that is sometimes in my posts is not anything that no one can find on their own either through their own internet search, visiting their local public library, or contacting their own treatment providers.

for example you can find all kinds of definitions, diagnostics, case studies, blogs, mental health websites on the internet but you can not find present Supplemental Updates about a mental disorder on the internet, for this contacting treatment providers who can use their credentials to access that information. there are also many websites out there that contain books, worksheets and other stuff people with mental disorders find helpful which contacting a treatment provider is very helpful.

sometimes my posts will contain a statement of proof........

by proof I mean statistical data, demographics , case studies, research studies, Supplemental Updates, the national census reports.... those kinds of things.

most of which can be found with a visit to a local public library reference department and those that cant be found publicly are found through a persons own treatment provider.

So you see when I say there is proof I am not saying anyone here is or isnt who and what they say they are.

I am saying there is a document somewhere that states that which I am posting about.

where possible I do supply where I found the proof (the document) if because of site rules I am unable to state the exact proof wording and location I point the person in the direction where they can find that document.

example someone recently asked me to supply my proof and because I knew I could not quote the proof here, I explained to the person how to locate that document on their own.

now for some definitions of some words in my posts that get new people upset sometimes...

Dissociation/ dissociate.... I use this word to mean many things.....

Switching alters, feeling numb, feeling spaced out, loss of time, basically any dissociation problem. its like a cover all word here where I live.

Triggers....when I use this word, it means something good or bad has happened to cause dissociation, dissociating to happen.

examples of positive triggers.....

eating a piece of cake can cause me to feel numb and spaced out.
nothing is wrong with the cake and there are no bad memories associated with the cake, its just that sometimes doing something good like eating a piece of cake will make me feel my dissociation symptoms.

going up to the mountains and hiking up a particular mountain will cause me to have my dissociation symptoms. not because there is anything wrong or bad happened, just because I am so excited and full of happy/ good emotions that suddenly my mind shuts down.

I used to not know how to sew. I was all thumbs when it came to sewing. theres nothing wrong or upsetting associated with sewing, in fact I love hand sewn crafts.

Before I was integrated any time I needed to sew something, this would cause me to have my dissociation symptoms/ switch and an alter would do that for me. now that I'm integrated i can sew.

these are all examples of positive triggers..... the need to sew when I could not do it, the excitement and high happy emotions of hiking, the eating a piece of cake. there is nothing wrong with them they just cause me to dissociate and used to be what would cause me to switch alters whether I asked my alters to help me or not.

on the other side of this are negative triggers like
bad memories,
bad events in my life,
stress
being worried
pain

the list was endless of bad things that would cause me to dissociate and switch alters.

so you see my statement that dissociation is trigger related or my saying dissociation is an automatic reaction to a trigger is not in any way saying someone is or isnt how they are, its quite the opposite its all inclusive, it includes everyone and every thing how ever and who ever they may be..

where I am located we use all inclusive terms / definitions.

And lastly when in doubt it is ok to ask me what I mean or to clarify my post for you.

[RubyRae]

It must be hard trying to communicate here when english isn't your native language.It also must be as easy for you to misinterpret what's being said as it is for others to misinterpret you.

I have often wondered how this language barrier unfolds in real life for you,especially in your profession.

[Wild Coyote]

I find your posts very clear.

Thanks for the explanation though.


WC

You being an ever present entity....they should pin this.

Thought you was a New Yorker...and you need a translator? Must be a Mason -Dixon thing.

But I got your back sista

Oh wanna add, me and you clashed a many of times...and so did the others...but you took a bit of getting used to...so did we...so no hard feelings there in the ruff.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by RubyRae

It must be hard trying to communicate here when english isn't your native language.It also must be as easy for you to misinterpret what's being said as it is for others to misinterpret you.

I have often wondered how this language barrier unfolds in real life for you,especially in your profession.

sent you a pm

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I find your posts very clear.

Thanks for the explanation though.


WC

you are welcome

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

You being an ever present entity....they should pin this.

Thought you was a New Yorker...and you need a translator? Must be a Mason -Dixon thing.

But I got your back sista

Oh wanna add, me and you clashed a many of times...and so did the others...but you took a bit of getting used to...so did we...so no hard feelings there in the ruff.

yes on New Yorker, Yes on translators, i am native american raised on reservations and small towns that use native american languages.

yes I remember those days of old where you and I clashed but you and I got through it. no hard feelings here either

[Evil Rose]

It must be really hard to have to use translating software to get your posts the way you need them to be. I like to use Grammerly to help me with my spell checking. Have you ever heard of Grammarly?

[amandalouise]

I wanted to add something to my original post about my use of the ignore listing...

I can't tell you how many times people have asked that I place them on my ignore list then I discover they are upset because they can not post in my threads past or present and cant private message me or i havent answered their private message to me.

So i want to be clear with you all....

when you ask that I place you on my ignore list you are not only asking me to not post to you, but also making it impossible for you to post with in ......my ..... threads that I may post, and making it so that you are unable to private message me.

Yes there is a strange loop hole in this that some have discovered... even though you are on my ignore list you will be able to post in threads that someone other than me, starts.

but again being clear, when i have someone on my ignore list even if you post to me in someone elses thread the odds are I will rarely if ever see it. I dont go around reading posts of those on my list, I purposely dont read them. usually what happens is months, days or hours later I may happen to see the post if I am not logged in, and then I log in and notify a moderator that this person is on my ignore listing and let the moderators take it from there.

if you are on my ignore list i dont have any contact what so ever with you, even if you are requesting my reply on the boards in someone elses thread or your own.

the ignore list has a purpose and i use the list for its intended purpose, to ensure that .....I....... not have contact with those on the list.

my point though I gladly add people to my ignore list please be clear on what you are asking, not only of me but also of your self.

once you are on my ignore list at .......your own....... request its permanent and you will no longer be able to post in any of my threads, nor private message me, nor will i reply to any of your posts or private messages, because i will not or rarely will i see your posts or messages to me.

now to Evil Rose....

thanks for your reply.....no its not hard. computers come with translating software and companies like Dell will customize computers with software, for a price of course. mine is set for my own languages.

Grammerly for spell check.... no I do not use Grammerly

i just highlight the word that has a red line underneath it and the correct spelling automatically comes up. this is just part of how windows 10 works.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

The ignore list is so weird....it’s like they make a comment and half the world responds and then you are so dying to see what was said....then you un ignore to discover it was stupid....then you reignore to find that you got to unignore.....the freaking insanity of it all....my bad. Lol

I can’t deal

no, I dont think you are bad for doing that. some people do and some people don't Im in the dont, im just not that curious and feel my time here is better spent doing other things. if someone asks to be on my ignore list then i put them on and thats that.

good post, thanks for this.

for the record I like reading your posts, they are always imformative and I always come away with something.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by shattered sanity

good post, thanks for this.

for the record I like reading your posts, they are always imformative and I always come away with something.

Thanks, love your posts too

[RubyRae]

I guess I don't understand anyone asking(or telling) another member to add them to their ignore list.

If I add someone to mine,it's about me,it's about how I react to their posts whether I am triggered by them.Adding them to my list prevents me from seeing any more of their posts.Problem solved.

I feel it would be inappropriate for me to ask or tell someone to add me to theirs.To me that would taking things too far.It's my responsibility to practice self control and not read or post in any of their threads.I don't need them to put me on ignore to stop myself.

Sometimes I add ppl to my list when I have got upset or triggered just to give myself time to get over it and then I remove them when I am in a better place.

There's been times I have tried to reply to threads just to find out I have been placed on someones list.I don't get upset or take it personally because I know they have done it for themselves not to spite or upset me,I know it's really about them,not me.

I think the ignore feature is good practice for real life.While we can't put someone on ignore in real life with a quick click,we do have the option of walking away from differing thoughts,opinions,etc.and not let it upset us.And the ignore feature is helping me practice that.It may not always work or help but it is good practice.

Just my 2 cents.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by RubyRae

I guess I don't understand anyone asking(or telling) another member to add them to their ignore list.

If I add someone to mine,it's about me,it's about how I react to their posts whether I am triggered by them.Adding them to my list prevents me from seeing any more of their posts.Problem solved.

I feel it would be inappropriate for me to ask or tell someone to add me to theirs.To me that would taking things too far.It's my responsibility to practice self control and not read or post in any of their threads.I don't need them to put me on ignore to stop myself.

Sometimes I add ppl to my list when I have got upset or triggered just to give myself time to get over it and then I remove them when I am in a better place.

There's been times I have tried to reply to threads just to find out I have been placed on someones list.I don't get upset or take it personally because I know they have done it for themselves not to spite or upset me,I know it's really about them,not me.

I think the ignore feature is good practice for real life.While we can't put someone on ignore in real life with a quick click,we do have the option of walking away from differing thoughts,opinions,etc.and not let it upset us.And the ignore feature is helping me practice that.It may not always work or help but it is good practice.

Just my 2 cents.

I do agree with everything you said, but some do ask others to put them on your ignore list. i never ask what the reasoning/ logic is behind it, I just do it and expect them to take care of their self when they discover that by their asking to be on my ignore they have effectively prevented/ limited their self access. its not a punishment to be imposed on each other. it affects both sides. I have no problem when someone asks that I do this. I just make sure that they understand what they are asking me to do will also affect their self.

Originally Posted by RubyRae

I guess I don't understand anyone asking(or telling) another member to add them to their ignore list.

If I add someone to mine,it's about me,it's about how I react to their posts whether I am triggered by them.Adding them to my list prevents me from seeing any more of their posts.Problem solved.

I feel it would be inappropriate for me to ask or tell someone to add me to theirs.To me that would taking things too far.It's my responsibility to practice self control and not read or post in any of their threads.I don't need them to put me on ignore to stop myself.

Sometimes I add ppl to my list when I have got upset or triggered just to give myself time to get over it and then I remove them when I am in a better place.

There's been times I have tried to reply to threads just to find out I have been placed on someones list.I don't get upset or take it personally because I know they have done it for themselves not to spite or upset me,I know it's really about them,not me.

I think the ignore feature is good practice for real life.While we can't put someone on ignore in real life with a quick click,we do have the option of walking away from differing thoughts,opinions,etc.and not let it upset us.And the ignore feature is helping me practice that.It may not always work or help but it is good practice.

Just my 2 cents.

Ignore list? I guess we are built t be controversial and in your face. I’m guessing I’m on a bunch of ignore lists lol....but have none. I guess we are volatile. You mess with us....here we come...or most of us I guess.

People triggers us if they are confrontational...trigger Angry One, Rage, or Wolfie.

When I ignore someone...an another wants to see what is being said then they unignore...so ignore doesn’t work for us. Lol