Nothing going on with my Dissociative Disorder.

Currently there is nothing going on with my Dissociative Disorder. Got nothing to share on that. This is why I sometimes believe that I am being experimented on. No weirdness has happened since that switch up at the pub. In the facility that I am in there are not many triggers for me. I do not have any very close friends but that has always been the case for me. I am only allowed to have casual friends.

I finally started to draw my social security. It will be $767.00 per month. The facility will get most of it. But I owe them about $1400.00 per month. So the government will subsidize the facility to pay for my care as an honorably discharged veteran. I am extremely thankful that I got to serve in the U.S. Army for three years so that these people will take care of me in my old age. I would be up the creek otherwise.

I started Hepatitis C treatment yesterday. So far I have had no side effects from the pill. Another consequence of my misdirected teenage years was getting this virus. What is weird is that I never had any symptoms of Hepatitis. I had some stomach viruses when I was a child but my Doctor Dad never called them Hepatitis. I also know that I was exposed to hepatitis on two occasions. Once when my cousin had it and once when another player on my little league team had it. When I was stationed in Babenhausen in Germany everyone in the barracks caught hepatitis except for me. Heroin use was common at this base. They call them Kasernes or Casernes. I cannot remember how that was spelled. I was what the true addicts call a joy popper. I only used a needle a few times when my boredom and moral sank extremely low and I wanted a distraction. But it was enough to get me this virus. Luckily for me, HIV had not spread much at that time.

I am ranting because I am upset. I emailed my sister up in Athens, Georgia just to say "hello" and I got about three weird emails from both my brother and sister. It seems my sister copied my email to my brother. She wanted his advice on my hepatitis treatment.(He is a medical doctor.) I was just trying to make small talk with my sister and talk about what was going on in my life. But my brother comes back with an email that shows signs of extreme paranoia and delusions, and sent it to both of us. It was a crazy email. It sent my sister into a tirade at my brother. I sent emails to both of them trying to stop the insanity.

But what I truely believe is that my brother is deliberately doing this. I believe that he is deliberately playing head games with me based on something my alters said or did in the past. You see he thinks that I am playing head games. This person has gone through medical school but still cannot admit he seriously abused me as a child. I was denied peace and happiness in my own home because of him. I do not throw that up to him but I am honest about my mental health problems which he cannot handle. It is serously sick when you cannot have contact with the only family members that you have on this planet without having a mental health professional there to mediate. That is why I am upset.

It's good that there's nothing there to really trigger you.And it's good that you have a place to live like that.

Families can be difficult to get along with, especially if things were really screwed up in childhood.And most abusers won't admit to any wrong doing and deny,deny,deny.

Im sorry you're upset.

I like reading your posts,I wish you posted more often though.I feel like I learn a little bit more about you with each one I read.And I have a feeling there's so much more to your story,that you have so much inside that you've held in for many years.

You doing better than me...we are a 3 monkey flying circus, but it’s just so normal...stability would be a big deal.

Congrats on forward momentum.

Screw your brother and screw offending family..I wrote my torturer father off years ago and much better for it.

To me....it sounds like he’s got REAL issues and needs real help.