Sharing on PC with DID

Just wanting to VENT or RANT........... but comments are Welcomed.

I am not for sure that I wish to share any more of myself and my feelings when I am having a relationship crisis and need to post in the Relationship Forum for too many people are harsh and jump on me when I express my true feelings concerning men (that which a very abandoned forgotten and discarded teenager holds the feelings to - not to mention all the sexual abuse that happened, to me by men, from age two to age twelve) - the teenager is sixteen (lost before she could find herself).

.... She needs to be heard so that her feelings and wounds can be validated (for no one ever listened - no one ever stopped the pain) and yet others do not like to hear the anger that so many men over her life time has created - guess she remains quite for another twenty years.

Me / Her - Her / Me -
I am getting tired of how people react to the expressed anger and pain of a sexually & mentally wounds soul - that which a young child and teenager never asked for in the first place....... created by MEN.

She almost HATES them - While I have tried my best to LoVe in spite of the Past.
How can one win out over such deviated sickness that was forced upon another?

Why do people want to hate ME for the PAIN that needs to be healed from - by my way of healing, sharing & venting?

Rhapsody

I have tried to explain this so many times but I'm not reaching you. It's never a problem when you talk about your anger and feelings toward the men who hurt you. You SHOULD and I will ALWAYS be supportive when you want to vent about specifics. The problem is only, ONLY when you express your feelings as being representative of how ALL women must feel about MOST or ALL men.

Your feelings are welcome and I will always support you, as long as you can keep it to YOUR feelings about YOUR experiences.

I promise to be supportive in those situations and I'm very, very sorry you've felt hurt by those (including me) who haven't been able to get past your style of posting to see the underlying message that you're trying to express.

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LMo said:
The problem is only, ONLY when you express your feelings as being representative of how ALL women must feel about MOST or ALL men.

I promise to be supportive in those situations and I'm very, very sorry you've felt hurt by those (including me) who haven't been able to get past your style of posting to see the underlying message that you're trying to express.

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Thanks for the promised support -

* * * * * * * * *

I do not see my way of posting as ME saying that "ALL WOMEN" feel this way - but rather that I am saying that "I feel this way about ALL MEN" (i even state such in my posting - this is about me i say) ....... well about me and my 16 year old sexually mentally and physically abused alter.... she holds my deepest inner feelings toward MEN and all they have done to us.

I could and have NEVER spoken for how "ALL WOMEN" feel - NEVER!! - how could I?

Just wanted to share..........

I - ME (Carolyn) am in control and hubby and I are having a very pleasant time together this weekend and I am in LoVe with HIM - and the SEX has been WOW....... I am smiling -

.... she (Carol) is listening / watching and trying to understand from my side of the fence and to learn from it.

maybe you need to post in here for the time being, we understand , been there done that
Angie

(((((Rhapsody)))))))

I think it is hard for others to respond positively to Carol like it is hard for you; we are all mirrors and sponges and that much hate and pain caused by "us" is difficult to sit with (which is why Carol is expressing it). Just because she is 16 and we older doesn't mean we can deal with it any better or with more finesse than she can.

{{{Carolyn and Carol}}}

So you are to two >>> Polar opposites.........And married ,,, and In LOve ..... Hope that one shines through the Most often...

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Perna said:
I think it is hard for others to respond positively to Carol like it is hard for you;
{{{Carolyn and Carol}}}

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I understand what you are saying and I too find it hard to deal with Carol some times...... but I have never had HATE her for she has held so many years of emotional pain for ME so I could live - breathe another day.

Personally she just wants her "FEELINGS to be VALIDATED" from her side of the fence....... from the sick abuse she (and I) went thru.....
yet some people are not allowing this one wish before she dies.

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nothemama8 said:
maybe you need to post in here for the time being, we understand...
Angie

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I agree........ as others that do not have to live with DID or Sexual Abuse - do not always UNDERSTAND, therefore, they often try to change our ways instead of validating our wounded feelings / bodies.

Thanks for CARING & VALIDATING Me / US - Angie. <font color="purple"> (((( hugs )))) </font>

as my hubby always says, " life with us is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get" he says it's never been dull, and he still Loves us even when we act out
we'll never ostracize you Rhapsody
xoxoxoxoxox
Angie

"yet some people are not allowing this one wish before she dies."
don't understand this...
anyway, i'm vicki and i'm 14 and i've been thru alot and i feel how carol does about men. i don't get validated by RL ppl. well, tht's part of DID cuz no one knows anyway but well, i've learned tho that not ALL men are cruel, abusive and perverted, some are really ok. the husband is really nice--he's not mine, but WI is cool with him....so i guess that means not ALL men suck.
vicki

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white_iris said:
"yet some people are not allowing this one wish before she dies."
don't understand this...

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Meaning..................... that people do not allow Carol to VENT as she NEEDS - they always try to change her mind on how she feels toward men and stop her thoughts in their tracks with out knowing of the FACTS - the hellish nightmare she had to live thru at the hands of several men and sex.

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white_iris said:
"before she dies."

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From what I gather....

This part is about her merging (integrating) back into ME...... she NEEDS to have her HATE for MEN (for what they did to me, an innocent child) validated before she can safely release her hold.

I am very sorry hon that you felt that way in the relationship thread. I don't think any of us knew Carol was the one that hated men. I know I certainly did not. I do now understand why men would be hated. Carol please forgive me for not understanding/knowing. I had things happen to me when I was a child that I look back on now and realize it was right on the border of being abuse rather than childhood experimental stuff. again please forgive my ignorance.

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Rhapsody said:
I am getting tired of how people react to the expressed anger and pain of a sexually & mentally wounds soul - that which a young child and teenager never asked for in the first place....... created by MEN.

She almost HATES them - While I have tried my best to LoVe in spite of the Past.
How can one win out over such deviated sickness that was forced upon another?

Why do people want to hate ME for the PAIN that needs to be healed from - by my way of healing, sharing & venting?

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I think one of the big things teenagers need to learn that is hard is the difference between indivduals and groups. "Men" did not abuse her, individuals (with names, just like Carol) abused her. I don't know that she will be able to heal if she can't differentiate the two?

My husband smacked me once and I went into "kill" mode because my stepmother use to hit me. But, I was able to use that tiny piece of brain that has "me" and fairness in it and ask "why did you hit me?" and listen to the response. The reason why he'd hit me is because I'd almost electrocuted us or gotten glass broken and sprayed in our faces, etc. I had done something dangerous.

My point is not that these particular men have anything at all worth listening to as to "why" but that other men are not these men like my husband was not my stepmother. I had it easy because there are obvious physical differences too but in the "head" none of those really matter. Carol needs to be validated for what happened to her but I'm sure you and your T and everyone is doing that for her? But I wouldn't let Carol "stop" there; I'd ask her to help you learn to distinguish between each of these men so they don't "run together" and between these kinds of men and others?

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Perna said:
Carol needs to be validated for what happened to her but I'm sure you and your T and everyone is doing that for her?

But I wouldn't let Carol "stop" there; I'd ask her to help you learn to distinguish between each of these men so they don't "run together" and between these kinds of men and others?

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You would be surprised to how many people do NOT validate Carol and Her feelings toward Men......... she has yet been hugged and told that she has the right to feel the way she does (myself and my T being excluded from those that do not validate her....... Carol usually gets a lot of the same stuff said to her that many here on PC seems to always say to Rhapsody when she needs to VENT for HEALING purposes.

And please know that the expressed feelings toward MEN are not just sexual abuse related..... that particular issue was actually the second issue that got the ball a rolling - her daddy abandoning her at the young tender age of one years old was the first issue (then by age 5 or 6 she was rejected by her dad for his new precious little girl with the woman, the baby sitter - now new wife, that stole her daddy from his first family).

And being let down by many other males in her adult life did not help this issue any - nor did being raped as an adult..... for some reason the men in Carolyn's life have been abusive in one way or another and they do not seem to be able to love or to keep their word, therefore, trust of men is a big issue with her.










BUT - please know that we are trying and that we are healing (slowly) but never the less still healing from this very deep rooted wound that concerns men.

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bebop said:
I am very sorry hon that you felt that way in the relationship thread. I don't think any of us knew Carol was the one that hated men.

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Thank you Bebop....... ((( hugs )))

Now can I ask?

Why should it matter if it was Carolyn or Carol that was needing to VENT about these negative feelings toward men, for don't they both deserve to be validated for the feelings that came about from what happened to them?

For remember while I (Carol) may hold the feelings for these painful and destructive wounds - it was still she (Carolyn) that had to live through them and she remembers a lot.

this is for Carol, dearheart you have every right to vent be it through Carolyn, yourself or anyway you can, if ppl can't accept that is there problem NOT yours, if at all possible can you sign your name when your posting , we do this as it helps others know who is speaking
your pain is not yours alone we feel it too
Reah