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PuffinMuffins
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Location: Kentucky
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Default Jul 02, 2018 at 06:02 AM
  #1
Is this a thing? I may be off base but I think that might be what's going on with me.

To maybe help me explain, I should mention I'm a recovering drug addict, mostly heroin for ~8 years (since age 15), been clean a year and am probably a bit stunted in terms of stress management.

T tend to zone out in times of confusion and stress. Even a busy supermarket can sometimes be too much for me to process and I'll become confused and basically shut down, can't recall memories, words I'm trying to use, etc. All thinking, concentration and cognitive function just becomes blocked and slowed, I've always done that.

I've been under a fair amount of stress due to dealing with a lot of changes, and while I love him to death, dealing with a best friend/roommate who's bipolar a bend prone to mood swings and irrationality - basically just often difficult for me to deal with. I've been a bit extra out of it lately in general.

So when I recently started experiencing a more pronounced form of derealization (I think that's what it is, for those of you who have done drugs it feels like being on ketamine for me but without any pleasant effects), I also started experiencing paranoid delusions that someone or something was trying to read my mind, generally infiltrate my thoughts and influence them. In times of intense derealization especially, I've felt friends have been replaced with imposters, or that someone or something is influencing what I'm seeing and everything around me, including the people, are a facade. Like it's possible I really am in reality but with imposters as friends, or that I'm actually, say, in a lab somewhere hooked up to something being fed a false visual experience. It's absolutely terrifying, and it's become increasingly difficult to shake the feeling of something being "off", but logically I know this is just my brain messing with me.

Does this chain of events and issues happen in some people due to stress? I'm willing to admit I may be wrong on this theory, but this makes the most sense to me. Any feedback would be appreciated.
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Default Jul 02, 2018 at 12:14 PM
  #2
The way you describe the supermarket happens to me, too. I ground myself but focusing on reading labels and get into a aisle. The noise, crowd, lights, colors, symmetrical arrangements of merchandise, the size of the store, and trying to not be noticed all triggers me.

Stress and anxiety, so you are not alone sweety. Depersonalization is me not connecting to this body. It feels like space between my mind and body, in a way I can’t “feel” it even though I do feel. Sometimes I look like I belong to someone else.

It’s an all the time thing, so I just ignore it because it’s my normal.
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amandalouise
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Default Jul 02, 2018 at 01:28 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by PuffinMuffins View Post
Is this a thing? I may be off base but I think that might be what's going on with me.

To maybe help me explain, I should mention I'm a recovering drug addict, mostly heroin for ~8 years (since age 15), been clean a year and am probably a bit stunted in terms of stress management.

T tend to zone out in times of confusion and stress. Even a busy supermarket can sometimes be too much for me to process and I'll become confused and basically shut down, can't recall memories, words I'm trying to use, etc. All thinking, concentration and cognitive function just becomes blocked and slowed, I've always done that.

I've been under a fair amount of stress due to dealing with a lot of changes, and while I love him to death, dealing with a best friend/roommate who's bipolar a bend prone to mood swings and irrationality - basically just often difficult for me to deal with. I've been a bit extra out of it lately in general.

So when I recently started experiencing a more pronounced form of derealization (I think that's what it is, for those of you who have done drugs it feels like being on ketamine for me but without any pleasant effects), I also started experiencing paranoid delusions that someone or something was trying to read my mind, generally infiltrate my thoughts and influence them. In times of intense derealization especially, I've felt friends have been replaced with imposters, or that someone or something is influencing what I'm seeing and everything around me, including the people, are a facade. Like it's possible I really am in reality but with imposters as friends, or that I'm actually, say, in a lab somewhere hooked up to something being fed a false visual experience. It's absolutely terrifying, and it's become increasingly difficult to shake the feeling of something being "off", but logically I know this is just my brain messing with me.

Does this chain of events and issues happen in some people due to stress? I'm willing to admit I may be wrong on this theory, but this makes the most sense to me. Any feedback would be appreciated.
I see you are here in the USA and you have many different things going on.... maybe this will help...

when I have problems and I wonder if its a dissociative problem or my meds or stress or what ever I ask myself i what I am thinking or believing can possibly be real... you see here in the USA one of the differences between disorders is with dissociative disorders there is a diagnostic criteria that says reality testing/ reality remains intact. so I know that if I am having hallucinations or delusions (seeing things that are not real, hearing things that are not real at this moment, believing things that cant possibly be real ) the problem is not a dissociative one for me.

for me when ever I.......believe....... things like my friends are aliens, robots, animals and other such delusional/ halluciinatory things its usually a medication problem or a dietary problem or a sleep deprivation problem or its associated with my psychosis symptoms that come with my bipolar disorder.

since you have so much going on with you my suggestion is contact your medical doctor or a mental health treatment provider who can diagnose the problem and get you treated for it.
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