the lack of response or knowing what to say

me to a friend after having a flashback:

" I was going back to a time where my grandad punched me, and then held my throat"

her: " oh right, I see. "
me: " is that all you have to say?. don't you think that's terrible?"

her: " family will be family"

please. a little more concern and response would be nice

[Purple,Violet,Blue]

Family will be family?

Jaw-dropping.

I'm so sorry!

Punched. Held by the throat.

Punched!

That's awful, raging, I wish I knew what to say

[Fuzzybear]

Omg... and this is a friend? . What a .... I’m searching for a pc enough word to use here

[Deejay14]

Sadly that may be the norm for her: messy family.

[Fuzzybear]

The “norm” .. I guess it might. I still wouldn’t find that helpful from a friend though

I’m sorry she was so insensitive ((((( raging vortex ))))

Abuse is NOT ok.. what he did was horrible

I think also that a little more concern from friends is nice,

sounds to me that she thinks such things sound normal because she has gone through such horrid things as well as has become desensitized because she had to, not out of lack of caring for you.

to be fair I think it's the same with most people

when people get abused and talk about it, others don't know what to say- so for one reason or another choose to say something nasty.

well that's my experience anyway

with the acception of therapists I can't think of anyone in my circle who really understands abuse

[Miss P]

How desperately sad, I am sooo lucky. I told a close family member something that had happened to me, they were keen I should talk n actually apologised for not knowing what to say. I'm sorry that's not everyone's experience

[Laurel1562]

Raging, I'm so sorry that happened to you. And it's so sad when our friends and loved ones do not show empathy.

Originally Posted by raging vortex

the lack of response or knowing what to say

me to a friend after having a flashback:

" I was going back to a time where my grandad punched me, and then held my throat"

her: " oh right, I see. "
me: " is that all you have to say?. don't you think that's terrible?"

her: " family will be family"

please. a little more concern and response would be nice

Sorry that’s awful. Just like DID, most people can’t relate and are uncomfortably shocked not knowing how to respond to such. To them they see you survived probably thinking the past is the past and it’s over with...but they can’t see the damage it has done us abused and are often times told to get over it. I know.