[BethMae]

Hello,

I'm a new member, mainly trying to find information on dissociative disorders and what exactly I'm experiencing. Is it DID or DD NOS? My therapist won't say.

I am trying to find information about my particular dissociation experience. My therapist hasn't defined it for me, and I don't know if she can. When I have a traumatic flashback or other stressful situations I can regress to where I think I am 6 or other ages, but always answer to my name, not other names. These experiences happen for hours at a time, sometimes even a day or more. I recall things that happened at the age I think I am. I have no memory of what happens during these times and my therapist is reluctant to share the information with me. Is there a name for this type of dissociation?

Thanks,
Beth

Originally Posted by BethMae

Hello,

I'm a new member, mainly trying to find information on dissociative disorders and what exactly I'm experiencing. Is it DID or DD NOS? My therapist won't say.

I am trying to find information about my particular dissociation experience. My therapist hasn't defined it for me, and I don't know if she can. When I have a traumatic flashback or other stressful situations I can regress to where I think I am 6 or other ages, but always answer to my name, not other names. These experiences happen for hours at a time, sometimes even a day or more. I recall things that happened at the age I think I am. I have no memory of what happens during these times and my therapist is reluctant to share the information with me. Is there a name for this type of dissociation?

Thanks,
Beth

welcome to the forum, beth!.

I hope being here helps you

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by BethMae

Hello,

I'm a new member, mainly trying to find information on dissociative disorders and what exactly I'm experiencing. Is it DID or DD NOS? My therapist won't say.

I am trying to find information about my particular dissociation experience. My therapist hasn't defined it for me, and I don't know if she can. When I have a traumatic flashback or other stressful situations I can regress to where I think I am 6 or other ages, but always answer to my name, not other names. These experiences happen for hours at a time, sometimes even a day or more. I recall things that happened at the age I think I am. I have no memory of what happens during these times and my therapist is reluctant to share the information with me. Is there a name for this type of dissociation?

Thanks,
Beth

welcome.....

question... have you asked your therapist what you have or are you waiting for them to tell you...

legally if you ask, a treatment provider must now tell you what you have, whether you are asking a medical doctor or a mental health treatment provider.

you can also ask to see your mental health files. here in america any one in treatment can obtain copies or see their files that their doctors, and mental health treatment providers keep on them, you can even go back to your elementary, jr high and high school and get copies of them too if you want.

my point is if you have been diagnosed with a mental or physical health problem theres documentation available to you to answer your question of what mental disorder you have.

another suggestion Ask your therapist for a referral for diagnostic testing for mental disorders. this kind of testing isnt the kind you can just do in a 50 minute therapy session, theres medical tests, psychiatric tests, even IQ tests, they also look at your past therapy sessions files (some mental disorders are life long, they just dont appear one day out of the blue, for example with DID the problems are there since very early childhood, (below the age of 5 in most USA states) and affects every aspect of a persons life, not just one portion of a persons life like during therapy,

my point is there will be a whole life time of documentations on certain problems/ issues associated with some mental disorders so you may need to release some of your records have have been kept on you all your life, if they are needed for the diagnostic process.

in other words even though we here cant tell you whether you have a mental disorder or not and which one there are ways for you to find out on your own , working with your treatment providers.

[Wild Coyote]

Hello BethMae!

Welcome to PC. Please make yourself at home here.
I hope you find the information and the support you may be seeking.

We cannot diagnose you. It is best for you to look to your treatment providers for diagnosis. Amandalouise has very very nicely spelled this out for you in your other thread. I have also commented on your other thread, just a few minutes ago. I hope the comments there are helpful to you.

Again, welcome!


WC

Hi Beth, welcome to PC!

What you described sounds very interesting and I can’t imagine it being discussed anywhere else. I don’t experience such happenings but would like to know if you ever found out. Please keep posting.

[BethMae]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Hi Beth, welcome to PC!

What you described sounds very interesting and I can’t imagine it being discussed anywhere else. I don’t experience such happenings but would like to know if you ever found out. Please keep posting.

I did ask my therapist, and she said no, that I don't have DID. BUT at the same time, my DBT therapist is concerned that I might. My therapist has been my therapist since I was 13, so I think if anyone knows, it would be her. My problem is the amnesia I have had with these episodes that have happened in therapy and at home for as long as I can remember. It just doesn't fit DD-NOS type 1, which is what my long time therapist diagnosed me with.

Part of her issue is that I have a photographic memory. I disagree with this, because there is so much of my life that I don't remember, but my earliest memory is age 18 months. I also have an IQ of 144, whatever that means. According to my long time therapist, DID would mean that I would remember less. IDK

[Amyjay]

Hi. I have DID, a high IQ, amnesia for lots of things but some isolated memories from a young age too.
Ultimately though a diagnosis is just words. What matters is your experience and your treatment, not the meaning that another person assigns to them. It doesn't matter if you "have" DID or DID-NOS type 1 or type 2 or whatever. If you have experienced trauma and that trauma impacts upon your life (as it is sure to do) what matters is having a therapist who is appropriately trained in treating trauma and its effects on the body and mind.

What I mean is... it might be more helpful and grounding to focus on your dissociative experiences... feeling them, being aware of them, etc and then working with and through those them with your therapist. Rather than feeling and being aware of your dissociative experiences and trying to match them up with an "appropriate" external category or label.

I get the need to do it, I really do. For me its about validation... like I have "permission" to be this way if someone else deems that I "have" this disorder. it might not be that for you of course, but that's how I felt about it.

What I am learning I think is that trauma is trauma and its affects are real, no matter what label is or isn't assigned to it. The trauma was real and the affect it real. Labels and diagnostic criteria are intellectual external systems applied to someone's personal pain.

I guess I just want to say... be wary of giving some patriarchal system the power to define or validate your reality. What you experience is real and powerful and valid and needs no permisson from anyone.

[mostlylurking]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Hi. I have DID, a high IQ, amnesia for lots of things but some isolated memories from a young age too.
Ultimately though a diagnosis is just words. What matters is your experience and your treatment, not the meaning that another person assigns to them. It doesn't matter if you "have" DID or DID-NOS type 1 or type 2 or whatever. If you have experienced trauma and that trauma impacts upon your life (as it is sure to do) what matters is having a therapist who is appropriately trained in treating trauma and its effects on the body and mind.

What I mean is... it might be more helpful and grounding to focus on your dissociative experiences... feeling them, being aware of them, etc and then working with and through those them with your therapist. Rather than feeling and being aware of your dissociative experiences and trying to match them up with an "appropriate" external category or label.

I get the need to do it, I really do. For me its about validation... like I have "permission" to be this way if someone else deems that I "have" this disorder. it might not be that for you of course, but that's how I felt about it.

What I am learning I think is that trauma is trauma and its affects are real, no matter what label is or isn't assigned to it. The trauma was real and the affect it real. Labels and diagnostic criteria are intellectual external systems applied to someone's personal pain.

I guess I just want to say... be wary of giving some patriarchal system the power to define or validate your reality. What you experience is real and powerful and valid and needs no permisson from anyone.

[BethMae]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Hi. I have DID, a high IQ, amnesia for lots of things but some isolated memories from a young age too.
Ultimately though a diagnosis is just words. What matters is your experience and your treatment, not the meaning that another person assigns to them. It doesn't matter if you "have" DID or DID-NOS type 1 or type 2 or whatever. If you have experienced trauma and that trauma impacts upon your life (as it is sure to do) what matters is having a therapist who is appropriately trained in treating trauma and its effects on the body and mind.

What I mean is... it might be more helpful and grounding to focus on your dissociative experiences... feeling them, being aware of them, etc and then working with and through those them with your therapist. Rather than feeling and being aware of your dissociative experiences and trying to match them up with an "appropriate" external category or label.

I get the need to do it, I really do. For me its about validation... like I have "permission" to be this way if someone else deems that I "have" this disorder. it might not be that for you of course, but that's how I felt about it.

What I am learning I think is that trauma is trauma and its affects are real, no matter what label is or isn't assigned to it. The trauma was real and the affect it real. Labels and diagnostic criteria are intellectual external systems applied to someone's personal pain.

I guess I just want to say... be wary of giving some patriarchal system the power to define or validate your reality. What you experience is real and powerful and valid and needs no permisson from anyone.

Thanks for saying this. I have a tendency to obsess over knowing what is going on with me, especially when I have no memory of it, but others do. My therapist tells me to relax and watch World of Dance or something, but I find myself searching and searching for others who've had similar experiences. It's driving me crazy. I think maybe I need to be looking for DBT skills to cope with obsessive thoughts.

[mostlylurking]

Dr. Colin Ross has shown that for people who have suffered trauma, it doesn't really matter what the specific diagnosis is or which particular symptoms a person is suffering, if the trauma is addressed and handled, a person's quality of life improves. Symptoms decline, diagnoses may sometimes be lost. So I agree with Amyjay that the label is not necessarily that important, unless it would be validating and is therefore important to you personally. Healing is possible regardless of the diagnosis.

[Amyjay]

I am reading "Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors: Overcoming Self-Allienation" by Janina Fisher, 2017, at the moment. I can really relate to it. It doesn't make much distinction between levels of dissociation (i.e. DID vs non DID). It's all the same cause, its all pretty much the same internal process, and its all treated the same way. Brilliant book. I highly recommend it.

Just wanted to add I was diagnosed with DID by my previous psychologist in conjunction with a psychiatrist, then referred to my current psychologist when my ex psych left her practise because my current psych has more experience with DID. And she does, my current psych is good at what she does and treats several clients with DID.
But I learned recently that my current psych doesn't actually care for diagnostic labels at all, so although I "officially" have the diagnosis of DID she doesn't like to call it that at all. She just refers to my "symptoms" as normal results of trauma. As in "this is how human beings develop when they develop under traumatic conditions". She does not treat a "disorder" or a "mental illness". She has told me repeatedly that she treats the psychological injuries of developmental trauma.
So I guess in that context or lens I do not "have" DID at all.