[Betty_Banana]

I thought maybe I should introduce myself.I posted in the Dissociative Disorders Check in thread a few days ago so I will just copy it here.

It's been a long time since I've posted on this site.I think it's been since early 2012.Things have really changed since then.I didn't think it would ever happen and it wasn't the plan but full integration occurred.It was a slow and gradual process. I'm glad I stayed in therapy and trusted my therapist.

It's good to be back here

Nice to meet you.

[SQLVR]

Hi Betty,
Congratulations, Im glad your in a good place.

[Laurel1562]

Hi, Betty!

[MoxieDoxie]

Hi Betty thanks for all your input.

[Betty_Banana]

Thanks everyone.

[Betty_Banana]

Is it ok for me to be here and post here even though I am fully integrated?Has anyone else here integrated?

Originally Posted by Betty_Banana

Is it ok for me to be here and post here even though I am fully integrated?Has anyone else here integrated?

Heck yeah...you have valuable insight. I like what you say, too.

[MoxieDoxie]

Originally Posted by Betty_Banana

Is it ok for me to be here and post here even though I am fully integrated?Has anyone else here integrated?

So you have no issues at all? You do not get triggered or anything? I am still not convinced I have OSDID. I think my complex PTSD gives more trouble than anything else.

[Betty_Banana]

Originally Posted by AlwaysChanging2

Heck yeah...you have valuable insight. I like what you say, too.

Thanks.

Originally Posted by MoxieDoxie

So you have no issues at all? You do not get triggered or anything? I am still not convinced I have OSDID. I think my complex PTSD gives more trouble than anything else.

Of course I still have issues.I still have PTSD and I still get triggered.I just don't have dissociative problems anymore really and that's why I wanted to ask if it was ok if I post here.

[yagr]

Originally Posted by Betty_Banana

Thanks.


Of course I still have issues.I still have PTSD and I still get triggered.I just don't have dissociative problems anymore really and that's why I wanted to ask if it was ok if I post here.

Of course it's okay that you post here. In fact, if you wouldn't mind explaining your integration process a bit, I'd appreciate it. We have two alters that want to integrate and I haven't a flippin' clue how to proceed.

[Betty_Banana]

Originally Posted by yagr

Of course it's okay that you post here. In fact, if you wouldn't mind explaining your integration process a bit, I'd appreciate it. We have two alters that want to integrate and I haven't a flippin' clue how to proceed

Since your alters want to integrate I would assume it will just happen naturally or they will know how to do it and you won't have to do anything at all.I guess you could probably ask them if there's anything you need to do to help with it.

I wish I could say how to do it or how to help but I really have no clue.I'm assuming since each person experiences DID differently then integration would also be experienced differently too.

(I sent you a PM with a basic description of my experience)

[Amyjay]

Hey Betty, is it okay to ask you a question? (I love that you are posting here btw. Welcome!) I know it is really a really individual process for everyone, but can I ask how long it took from diagnosis to integration?

[FearLess47]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Hey Betty, is it okay to ask you a question? (I love that you are posting here btw. Welcome!) I know it is really a really individual process for everyone, but can I ask how long it took from diagnosis to integration?

Resurrecting this post...I am very grateful that you guys are here . I am new to PC and still in an (OMG is THIS what this has been all along?!) stage of discovery and diagnosis after struggling for 40 years through many diagnoses and meds, constant chronic dissociation even after 10 years sober.

Anyway...I appreciate the willingness to discuss integration. That is far away for me. But a hopeful state...

FearLess47

[Rive1976]

I was not aware that integration was a process that happened on its own. I thought you had to work with a therapist to integrate and go through steps?

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by Dnester

I was not aware that integration was a process that happened on its own. I thought you had to work with a therapist to integrate and go through steps?

Nah, integration isn't something that is "done" to you and I don't think any theory of dissociation has mapped out discrete steps to follow for integration in DID. I think of integration simply as the opposite of dissociation. Instead of dissociating different aspects of life experience you actively think about, correlate and weave them together.
For instance every time I process new-to-me information or emotions about my experiences I am "integrating" them into my total experience. As opposed to dissociating /separating/ splitting off from them. The same happens with alters. The more I know about them and their experiences, feelings and needs and the more I accept them, the closer they become to my own sense of self... I gradually become more able to recognize and accept them as aspects of me.
Some of them anyway, lol.

[Betty_Banana]

You're misunderstanding Dnester.Read amandalouise's thread on integration to understand better.

Amyjay I like your explanation'the opposite of dissociation' sums it up very well

[FearLess47]

Since everyone's individual journey and experience is on a large continuum, it makes sense that integration and healing would be highly individual as well. No therapist can grant one sane, give us all the answers or hand over all the missing marbles. They are just human beings, too.

I used to think I wanted to obliterate parts of me...but now that I have started to open myself to the purpose they served, I feel so much more compassion and willingness to look at the larger picture.


FearLess47

[Amyjay]

Originally Posted by FearLess47

I used to think I wanted to obliterate parts of me...but now that I have started to open myself to the purpose they served, I feel so much more compassion and willingness to look at the larger picture.


FearLess47

Yes, very much this! Cultivating alter (self) compassion is turning out to be the one greatest factor in my healing. And as each alter's story unfolds it actually seems impossible to not have compassion for them. And for us reaching that place of compassion for an alter seems to be the "point of arrival".

[FearLess47]

Originally Posted by Amyjay

Yes, very much this! Cultivating alter (self) compassion is turning out to be the one greatest factor in my healing. And as each alter's story unfolds it actually seems impossible to not have compassion for them. And for us reaching that place of compassion for an alter seems to be the "point of arrival".

Yes x the sky. When wearing the shame/blame/guilt/fear/secrecy goggles...this all looks chaotic, scary, embarrassing, fragmented, unexplained, out of my control and therefore hammering in the guilt and shame and fear.

From the lens of compassion and understanding...as a means of survival. Ding.

An example in one sentence: "I don't know how I made it through college." Lens of shame - If only people knew how messed up I was, I don't remember my subject or even being there.

Contrast: "I don't know how I made it through college!" BUT I DID! How awesome is that? The part that needed to come in and get it done succeeded.

Sigh. Such an incredibly fascinating thing.

FearLess47

[Amyjay]

I like your reframing. I've never thought of it that way before, but I can see how it would make a huge difference. Thanks for sharing that.