[Rive1976]

My psychologist told me that I am supposed to spend at least 15 minutes a day trying to find out about my alters. As I mentioned before I feel like I am just asking questions to myself and answering myself. So what is the point. My therapist says to push my alters away when they bother me and not let them gain control. So confused.

[*Beth*]

Are you able to spend the fifteen minutes just listening without judgment, just a kind-of...passive listening?

[Rive1976]

I dont hear anything. when I do its stuff I know cant be true.

[*Beth*]

Okay, I think I understand better. Have you told your T exactly what you experience?

[Rive1976]

For me I was diagnosed DDNOS in 2003 or so. I dont even remember why. I went to a different therapist because I couldnt pay for that one anymore. She told me I did not have DID or DDNOS or any type of Dissociative Disorder. So for years I worked on my OCD. I had noticed this part of me that was very sadistic. I named her Thorne but I am still not sure that she isn't a product of Borderline Personality Disorder. My therapist said it was a normal part everyone had. I did not believe her but I dropped it. Then some bizzare things started happening in April of this year. All this chatter ( bizzare thoughts, they dont have different accents or anything its just like me thinking) that didn't make any sense. Mentioning names, asking if they could sit next to me, saying they saw me yesterday. All this weird stuff etc. I told my therapist about it and about Thorne and was diagnosed with DID. I am in therapy now trying to figure out what is DID and what could be something else not because my therapist thinks it is but because I do.

[*Beth*]

Well, I think I understand what you're dealing with. I'm going through a lot of the same.

[Rive1976]

How do you tell your alters apart in the chatter?

Had alters that didn't believe this stuff was true. Thought we were really making it up and putting it over on our T. We didn't do anything structured. We also didn't talk. We just listened. Sometimes it was quiet. That didn't last long!!! Just listened to what was being said, then what was being done. Tried holding a pen over paper, asking for something to be written or asking who's there. Tried not to make a big deal out of it as all that did was cause anxiety.

Discovered alters had jobs. So we couldn't push them away. We had to learn to cooperate. One in charge of our work life. One OCD about house cleaning. We don't have one in charge of everything.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm reading this with interest.