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Default Jun 13, 2021 at 10:17 AM
  #341
I think, therefore I am.

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Default Jun 14, 2021 at 09:14 PM
  #342
Having waves of panic type feelings of loneliness today and don't know why. Therapy was so amazing today but my therapist is doing something next week so no therapy for 2 weeks. I'm hearing so many inner voices. Thankfully they're all being extra nice for some reason. Feel like maybe something bad is about to happen...
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Default Jun 16, 2021 at 04:21 AM
  #343
well, I think I've finally finished my baby story. it's a very simple one about a mommy trying to get her baby daughter ready for bed, but it works. hopefully I can write it all out and put it in the baby box

either today or tomorrow, I am getting a delivery of a new computer chair which is hopefully going to help with my back. I'm going to ditch this one... and I can't wait!

and, @stahrgeyzer
hang in their and keep talking on here if it helps
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Breaking Dawn
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Default Jun 16, 2021 at 06:37 AM
  #344
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Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
well, I think I've finally finished my baby story. it's a very simple one about a mommy trying to get her baby daughter ready for bed, but it works. hopefully I can write it all out and put it in the baby box

either today or tomorrow, I am getting a delivery of a new computer chair which is hopefully going to help with my back. I'm going to ditch this one... and I can't wait!

and, @stahrgeyzer
hang in their and keep talking on here if it helps
You have touched my heart, @raging vortex.

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Default Jun 16, 2021 at 07:21 AM
  #345
I feel overwhelmed. The woman on twitter is causing me a lot of stress so is my family. But the neighbor with her thumping and banging next door really intimidates me. it is like she is feeling something from me and then doing all that.
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Default Jun 16, 2021 at 09:03 AM
  #346
It is such a mixture of torment, but enters humor sometimes to elleviate the pain. Thank God for a sense of humor.

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Default Jun 17, 2021 at 04:09 AM
  #347
it is official. I am getting a baby box this time next friday!. super excited about it, in fact it's been a while since I've been excited about anything so much.

I got a new chair today which hopefully is going to help with my back. it has more support, and this one does have arms so we'll see.... sounds promising..

rained all night yesterday, but it's what we needed to cool the humid air. think we might get some more rain today, still looks really cloudy
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Smile Jun 17, 2021 at 04:22 AM
  #348
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Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
it is official. I am getting a baby box this time next friday!. super excited about it, in fact it's been a while since I've been excited about anything so much.

I got a new chair today which hopefully is going to help with my back. it has more support, and this one does have arms so we'll see.... sounds promising..

rained all night yesterday, but it's what we needed to cool the humid air. think we might get some more rain today, still looks really cloudy
So glad for you!!

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Default Jun 17, 2021 at 02:23 PM
  #349
I got a FB friend request today from the same person who caused me the repetitive childhood trauma that set off this in the first place. It is disgusting, I know, sorry if it sounds triggering. If this does not throw me into deep dissociation, I am on a really good place, which is incredible, considering where I was less than half a year ago...I feel pretty coherent these last weeks, I didn't dissociate even while lecturing in public, which was something I regularly did for years...I want to say: I am not afraid any more. He should be afraid of me.
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Default Jun 17, 2021 at 02:32 PM
  #350
I watch a lot of tv/movies , definitely helpd
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Default Jun 17, 2021 at 03:26 PM
  #351
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Originally Posted by Alatea View Post
I got a FB friend request today from the same person who caused me the repetitive childhood trauma that set off this in the first place. It is disgusting, I know, sorry if it sounds triggering. If this does not throw me into deep dissociation, I am on a really good place, which is incredible, considering where I was less than half a year ago...I feel pretty coherent these last weeks, I didn't dissociate even while lecturing in public, which was something I regularly did for years...I want to say: I am not afraid any more. He should be afraid of me.
Good for you, @Alatea! Personally I try to be brave so I kind of relate to this with my imagination. I have heard of painful things about FB, so maybe that's not a good place anyway?

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Default Jun 17, 2021 at 03:56 PM
  #352
Thank you, @Breaking Dawn The things is that I only update FB for some work that I voluntarily do, but I had to approach it from my own profile (a very old one, from 2008), and although I hate all the attention that it got, I certainly did not expect this...I really dislike FB, btw, it was increasingly bothering me that I have to update that profile, but I felt bad to decline. I will not have that problem now, as I just don't feel comfortable doing it after this.
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Default Jun 18, 2021 at 04:15 AM
  #353
I'm just glad I'm not on FB in the first place. partly because if I was, I'd have no one to be friends with (booo!), but also it's just drama and I have enough of that in my life without social media
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Default Jun 18, 2021 at 04:26 AM
  #354
it is mcdonalds day today. yum!

it was also shower day (very painfull), and it is raining!
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MichaelTaso
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Default Jun 18, 2021 at 08:07 AM
  #355
Accidentally took wrongs meds for sleep last couple of nights , usually I take melatonin and I think I took Trazadone with really super bad effects, I am new to site ,greetings....
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Default Jun 18, 2021 at 12:53 PM
  #356
Hi, @MichaelTaso! Greetings to you, too!

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Default Jun 18, 2021 at 01:47 PM
  #357
hey their michael, welcome to our daily check-in thread

well, okay, it says daily check in but you can check in here as much or as little as you like.

hope this forum brings you the support you want
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Default Jun 20, 2021 at 09:26 AM
  #358
very switchy yesterday. very

not so much today, but don't feel good
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Default Jun 23, 2021 at 08:22 PM
  #359
It is getting more and more creepy inside of my head - I am scared to talk. I am so scared.
I got out of mental hospital - it felt so surreal. I isolated myself and then well I thought I would end up homeless once again because I realized I could not walk nor take care of myself...
Just awful.
I am in contact with my father again. He is trying to help me now. It is very difficult - everything is.
But they confused me more and more in mental hospital and sometimes blamed me for the dissociative states or whatever they are.
They hat no idea how to help me really and just 'asked' me. People got too close and a lot of stuff was scary...
Getting treated for self-harm - just awful... I did not want it but if you are crying about that you know it is kind of bad.
I wanted to take back everything I said- just mute myself.
Why that diagnosis, why?
Then not sure what it is or was - the feeling of not being believed...
I hated it. I can not use skills they do not work.
Stuck in time, no feeling for time always confused.
Scared to hurt others and so on without knowing.
But at the same time of wanting to get diagnosed I did not want to. Everything repeating in my head.
Saying the same, acting the same. Everything has kind already happened. Third person memories. Seeing people again where they are not. Hearing things from the past being said again.
Thinking I am simulating or attention-seeking - scared to be bonding... Confusion woth people... Not recognizing them. Weakness and falling over and trying to hide it at home. Not wanting to be seen. Isolation myself. Thinking I can study like this when I can not even get there or away from there...
Being played by my own brain with (false) memories. Confusion. 'The hate you.''Don't speak'.
Saying weird stuff.
Losing senses and behaving weirdly...
Forgetting the illness.
'Collapsing' everywhere and worrying people without wanting to.
I just wish it would also have a physical component I do not know why. I just wish.
The symptoms seem to be so strong.
Sometimes I am okay and suddenly I can not sit anymore.. Speak anymore, control my body.
I am so scared to be faking - they said I am not. It is so surreal. Sometimes I forget. I drink so much and eat so much/little at times and move in circles.
When I ask is it physical and they say we do not think so I get so confused. Idk. I feel like going crazy.

Last edited by ReveuseTroublee; Jun 23, 2021 at 08:35 PM..
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Default Jun 25, 2021 at 12:54 PM
  #360
feeling a little depressed that I didn't get my baby doll today. honestly I was looking forward to it. why can't stuff arive when it's meant to..... ugg.

I have spent an entire week (or maybe a little more) excited for the doll, and it's not here

I also showered today, and apart from it being painful as ****, all I did is sat in my room eating.

so was their a real point
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