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#361
I had a really tough day today (afternoon, anyway)
had a visit from a new member of the mental health team- and apart from it being totally unexpected and a shock to the system, one of the questions she asked me was.... what are the 5 most important things to move forward? and I really didn't have an answer for her
Possible trigger:
which is the truth, but found that I couldn't say that to her because it may end bad for me so I just told her litirally theo nly things I could think of- move back to my home city, and stop being treated like crap and that I don't have a brain okay, that last one about being treated like crap is possibly something she can help me with, but moving back to my home city?. who am I kidding. I just don't want anything apart from
Possible trigger:
so I found the question really hard when she left I just fell silent and felt so drained.. wishing I could tell her more, but also wishing that I never met her in the first place. distracted myself by writing my shopping list, and I guess that helped a little. |
Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Member
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#362
I feel so hopeless and drained. Idk what to do.
I just want to live the way I wish to. |
Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Legendary
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#363
I often feel like I'm a 'walk in', a term I heard about on late night radio. Like I'm not the original her, & I ended up with her memories. It's probably not true. Maybe it's kind of like "derealization", which I only recently have read a little something about.
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
stahrgeyzer
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#364
Quote:
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Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Breaking Dawn
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Guest
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#365
I have been going around all day thinking it's monday
but it isn't. I just found out it's tuesday.. |
Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Legendary
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#366
I've done that & had to check my cell phone to verify what day it was. Maybe people who dissociate can have this problem, or maybe everyone does this once in a while?
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
Anonymous32451, stahrgeyzer
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#367
too many voices last night, and too many thoughts. it was like being part of a 3d confrence (complete with the smells, the sounds and the images) of my thoughts. it was all a bit too much
today, I have a stomach ache caused by sausage rolls that didn't agree with me at breakfast time (I had to get them using uber eats from a diffrent bakery, ran out of my usual ones) hopes were raised briefly when my baby doll finally arived, but soon dashed when I realise you couldn't really do anything with her.. but hold her and hear her cry. she has a passifier and a baby bottle, but she doesn't make the relevant sounds so it's not realistic and I'm quite depressed about that. I was hoping to dress her up and take her on adventures in her little toy pushchair... who am I kidding. |
Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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#368
All I do is keep myself alive... Sometimes it is forced. Eating, drinking, sleeping, doing stuff.
Last edited by ReveuseTroublee; Jun 30, 2021 at 08:44 AM.. |
Anonymous32451, Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Member
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#369
If I am honest I am not independent at all anymore... I never was. But with the struggling to walk, the collapses Idk what to do really...
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Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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#370
@ReveuseTroublee
I hear you when you talk about indipendence. with my fibro, especially, it feels like sometimes I am doing too much (even simple things like dressing can be agony on the back) and this is coming from a gal who never expected life to be so hardd |
Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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#371
now I'm drained just putting on a shirt..
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Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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#372
I have sat here, all day, and not done a ****ing thing
Possible trigger:
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Breaking Dawn, ReveuseTroublee, stahrgeyzer
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ReveuseTroublee
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#373
I feel like I am never going to have a future... Be part of society at all. I feel so hopeless.
I have not given up yet though... Idk... All is too much right now... I need therapy and help but I never found someone who can be of a help... Idk... It will take time and it is a process. Last edited by ReveuseTroublee; Jul 02, 2021 at 08:25 PM.. |
Anonymous32451, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, stahrgeyzer
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#374
Quote:
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
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Fuzzybear, stahrgeyzer
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#375
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Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, stahrgeyzer
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#376
Quote:
I am glad you're here with us it's good that you're not giving up |
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Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, stahrgeyzer
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#377
positive of the day: yesterday when I had my mcdonalds, they put 22 nuggets in the bag in sted of the usual 20, and only charged me for 20
defenetly not complaining. extra yum! |
Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, stahrgeyzer
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Wisest Elder Ever
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#378
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Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Magnate
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#379
It took me months but finally found a DID specialist who took my insurance. He diagnosed me with DID and then said I should get SSI(I think that's the one he said). I kept saying no. One day he drilled me for 50 minutes with a frown on his face trying everything to get me to do it. He stressed me out so much that I ended my DID therapy.
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Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear
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Poohbah
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#380
I am so angry. I want to ****ing destroy everything around me. I felike I could kill someone. I am so angry I used to take a bat and smash what ever the **** was in front of me. I don't want to die i.just need to explode. I have to explode. **** everything I am no going to kill myself. I need to explode .**** you **** I need to explode and I will feel better.
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