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Guest
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Jun 29, 2021 at 08:56 AM
#361
I had a really tough day today (afternoon, anyway)
had a visit from a new member of the mental health team- and apart from it being totally unexpected and a shock to the system, one of the questions she asked me was.... what are the 5 most important things to move forward? and I really didn't have an answer for her
Possible trigger:
which is the truth, but found that I couldn't say that to her because it may end bad for me so I just told her litirally theo nly things I could think of- move back to my home city, and stop being treated like crap and that I don't have a brain okay, that last one about being treated like crap is possibly something she can help me with, but moving back to my home city?. who am I kidding. I just don't want anything apart from
Possible trigger:
so I found the question really hard when she left I just fell silent and felt so drained.. wishing I could tell her more, but also wishing that I never met her in the first place. distracted myself by writing my shopping list, and I guess that helped a little. |
 Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Member
Member Since Jan 2021
Location: France
Posts: 154
3 86 hugs
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Jun 29, 2021 at 12:34 PM
#362
I feel so hopeless and drained. Idk what to do.
I just want to live the way I wish to. |
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| Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
(SuperPoster!)
4 42.2k hugs
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Jun 29, 2021 at 01:46 PM
#363
I often feel like I'm a 'walk in', a term I heard about on late night radio. Like I'm not the original her, & I ended up with her memories. It's probably not true. Maybe it's kind of like "derealization", which I only recently have read a little something about.
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * 
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| stahrgeyzer
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Member
Member Since Jan 2021
Location: France
Posts: 154
3 86 hugs
given |
Jun 29, 2021 at 01:51 PM
#364
Quote:
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| Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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 Breaking Dawn
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Guest
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Jun 29, 2021 at 03:01 PM
#365
I have been going around all day thinking it's monday
but it isn't. I just found out it's tuesday.. |
| Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
(SuperPoster!)
4 42.2k hugs
given
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Jun 29, 2021 at 09:41 PM
#366
Quote:
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * *
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| Anonymous32451, stahrgeyzer
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Guest
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Jun 30, 2021 at 04:14 AM
#367
too many voices last night, and too many thoughts. it was like being part of a 3d confrence (complete with the smells, the sounds and the images) of my thoughts. it was all a bit too much
today, I have a stomach ache caused by sausage rolls that didn't agree with me at breakfast time (I had to get them using uber eats from a diffrent bakery, ran out of my usual ones) hopes were raised briefly when my baby doll finally arived, but soon dashed when I realise you couldn't really do anything with her.. but hold her and hear her cry. she has a passifier and a baby bottle, but she doesn't make the relevant sounds so it's not realistic and I'm quite depressed about that. I was hoping to dress her up and take her on adventures in her little toy pushchair... who am I kidding. |
| Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Member
Member Since Jan 2021
Location: France
Posts: 154
3 86 hugs
given |
Jun 30, 2021 at 08:30 AM
#368
All I do is keep myself alive... Sometimes it is forced. Eating, drinking, sleeping, doing stuff.
Last edited by ReveuseTroublee; Jun 30, 2021 at 08:44 AM.. |
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| Anonymous32451, Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Member
Member Since Jan 2021
Location: France
Posts: 154
3 86 hugs
given |
Jun 30, 2021 at 08:45 AM
#369
If I am honest I am not independent at all anymore... I never was. But with the struggling to walk, the collapses Idk what to do really...
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| Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Jun 30, 2021 at 09:43 AM
#370
@ReveuseTroublee
I hear you when you talk about indipendence. with my fibro, especially, it feels like sometimes I am doing too much (even simple things like dressing can be agony on the back) and this is coming from a gal who never expected life to be so hardd |
| Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Jun 30, 2021 at 09:44 AM
#371
now I'm drained just putting on a shirt..
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| Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Jul 01, 2021 at 01:00 PM
#372
I have sat here, all day, and not done a ****ing thing
Possible trigger:
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| Breaking Dawn, ReveuseTroublee, stahrgeyzer
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ReveuseTroublee
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Member
Member Since Jan 2021
Location: France
Posts: 154
3 86 hugs
given |
Jul 02, 2021 at 07:31 PM
#373
I feel like I am never going to have a future... Be part of society at all. I feel so hopeless.
I have not given up yet though... Idk... All is too much right now... I need therapy and help but I never found someone who can be of a help... Idk... It will take time and it is a process. Last edited by ReveuseTroublee; Jul 02, 2021 at 08:25 PM.. |
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| Anonymous32451, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, stahrgeyzer
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Legendary
Member Since Sep 2019
Location: USA
Posts: 16,689
(SuperPoster!)
4 42.2k hugs
given
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Jul 02, 2021 at 08:22 PM
#374
Quote:
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * *
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| Fuzzybear, stahrgeyzer
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Member
Member Since Jan 2021
Location: France
Posts: 154
3 86 hugs
given |
Jul 02, 2021 at 08:26 PM
#375
Quote:
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| Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, stahrgeyzer
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Jul 03, 2021 at 03:55 AM
#376
Quote:
I am glad you're here with us it's good that you're not giving up |
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| Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, stahrgeyzer
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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Jul 03, 2021 at 03:57 AM
#377
positive of the day: yesterday when I had my mcdonalds, they put 22 nuggets in the bag in sted of the usual 20, and only charged me for 20
defenetly not complaining. extra yum! |
| Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, stahrgeyzer
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Wisest Elder Ever
Member Since Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,325
(SuperPoster!)
21 81.2k hugs
given
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Jul 03, 2021 at 05:10 PM
#378
Quote:
  
__________________ 
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| Breaking Dawn, stahrgeyzer
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Magnate
Member Since Feb 2018
Location: literally hell
Posts: 2,331
6 5,648 hugs
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Jul 04, 2021 at 04:07 PM
#379
It took me months but finally found a DID specialist who took my insurance. He diagnosed me with DID and then said I should get SSI(I think that's the one he said). I kept saying no. One day he drilled me for 50 minutes with a frown on his face trying everything to get me to do it. He stressed me out so much that I ended my DID therapy.
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| Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear
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Poohbah
Member Since Dec 2011
Location: Long Island NY
Posts: 1,272
12 11 hugs
given
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Jul 05, 2021 at 12:33 AM
#380
I am so angry. I want to ****ing destroy everything around me. I felike I could kill someone. I am so angry I used to take a bat and smash what ever the **** was in front of me. I don't want to die i.just need to explode. I have to explode. **** everything I am no going to kill myself. I need to explode .**** you **** I need to explode and I will feel better.
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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