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Anonymous32451
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#461
hope you were able to get some drawing in. what do you like to draw?
bad day yesterday.. bad food, feeling unwell and no sleep but I'm having an okay start to the week- I fixed my little portable fan now that one's up to full pressure, my big one works too so they are both working wooohoo and it is now august. it was the 1st yesterday |
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stahrgeyzer
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stahrgeyzer
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#462
I usually end up drawing trauma stuff. This time I tried drawing on the computer but that didn't go so well. It's not easy drawing with a mouse.
I hear you on bad food. Yesterday I ate texas chilly and salami lol. Bad idea! Good to hear about the fan. Hot weather is not cool! |
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stahrgeyzer
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#463
Uggggg...looks like I just got sucked into IOP intensive outpatient program for mental disorder patients. They want to talk to my therapist before deciding how many hours a day but he said it's 3 to 10 hours every single day for about 3 months.
This makes my heart beat like a humming bird. Don't want it! For anyone who's interested, overlandiop.com You can go in person or online telehealth. It looks like a great IOP. Probably the best in Los Angeles. Anyone ever did IOP? |
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stahrgeyzer
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#464
Kinda feeling rejected, like my therapist is just trying to get rid of me. I don’t think I need IOP.
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Anonymous32451
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#465
we got some cartoons in last night for the littles. mostly peppa pig, but horrid henry too.
another night of bad food, and another night of no sleep today it's just foggy and cold so far, with not really much going on.. either outside or in my life. pretty dull day all round |
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stahrgeyzer
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#466
Morning’s have become brutal. Maybe it’s Latuda. Got up at 9am, could barely like I was low on sugar, went to bed woke up at 1:40pm. This needs to go away soon.
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stahrgeyzer
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#467
I'm glad that iop doesn't take my insurance. I just want to end all therapy and forget about it.
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Anonymous32451
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#468
showered today and it hurt as usual
a lot plus of today though is that I'm going to have mcdonalds later. yum |
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stahrgeyzer
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#469
Going to neurologist to have an EEG. And he's also going to tell me CT scan results, hopefully. Can't wait to get all of this over with.
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stahrgeyzer
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#470
I just love going to the doctor. Drive an hour and a half, wait one hour, 15 minutes to do an EEG. I was hoping the doctor would tell me the CR scan results but that’s at a different office. Now I have to wait for CT and EEG results, hopefully sometime this year.
Besides that I’m feel a bit manic, which is good for a change. Enjoy the Macdonald’s meal, raging vortex. I’m having a peach yogurt drink. They pretty good but it’s gone in like 20 seconds lol |
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#471
I enjoyed my mcdonalds, but think I ate a little fast... many stomach aches today off and on
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#472
Quote:
I hope it goes well. you'll have to tell us the results |
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stahrgeyzer
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#473
I was feeling ok except fatigue is starting and the usual nausea and gas caused by meds which I'm getting tired of especially after Latuda.
Stuck in the front while the others are inside. Tried switching to lil Paul but my brain won't have it. |
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stahrgeyzer
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#474
Latuda is starting to help I think. It's been 12 days. My shoulders and neck don't hurt much anymore but elbows hurt a lot. It must be Latuda side effects but it seem they're fading. Past few days I get an occasional wave of nice calmness that makes me feel more comfortable in my own skin.
Look forward to therapy tomorrow. I wish I knew what they teach psychologist in school. Some of the things therapist do are so crazy it makes me wonder if it's therapy techniques or are they just flirty and very sexual with certain clients they like. Ug, it bothers me so much. People probably wouldn't believe me if I told them. I try to ignore it during therapy, which seems to frustrate my present therapist. This stresses me out. Feels good to tell someone. ... |
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stahrgeyzer
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#475
I’m kinda happy. I just talked to Harbor UCLA the place my therapist wanted me to contact for psychiatry intensive outpatient program and they only offer IOP for drug addiction. I probably need IOP but I don’t want to do it now.
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Claritytoo
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#476
Hi I ended up on a psych ward and was there for 13 days. I had a reaction to steroids from my cancer treatment. I became psychotic. Now I'm home and not doing well. The dr there put me on an anti psychotic. I'm not psychotic. I am going to ween myself off but it seem it will take over a month. I am having feelings of anger. This is not a normal part of our system. This anger feels unpredictable like I might say something mean to my sister. I would never say something mean to her. Also I am having a lot of sexual feelings. This was a part of our system when I was in my 30s and 40s. I did not make good choices during this time. I want to get help but I don't know a doc that will understand my system.
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amandalouise, stahrgeyzer
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stahrgeyzer
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#477
I’m tired of thinking I have DID. Just because I have missing time and hear people inside me isn’t proof. Maybe it’s dissociation & BPD or Schizoaffective. BPD threads are inactive so I’ll be posting in the Schizoaffective threads. Maybe I’ll be back.
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stahrgeyzer
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#478
I forgot. Also I have erratic personality changes and sudden changes to being the child within. It calls itself little Paul. Uggggg I hate this
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Legendary
Breaking Dawn
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#479
I have been dissociating way too much. And I am apparently going backwards much of the time.
__________________ "Every moment is a fresh beginning." (T. S. Eliot) "Problems are not stop signs, they are guidelines."(Robert H. Schiuller) * * * * * * |
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stahrgeyzer
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stahrgeyzer
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#480
Feeling good lately even though today my psychiatrist took me off wellbutrin because he learned that I had two non-epileptic seizures last year. Oops, I never told him about that before.
Anyhow it's fine. It will be nice to feel emotions again. Next Tuesday I see the neurologist about my CT scan and EEG results. |
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Breaking Dawn
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