[lemonSys]

✅ Feelin’ good overall.
✅ Kinda anxious.
✅ No tears today for first time in a few days.
✅ Ignoring, avoiding, denying reality

— lemonSys

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by lemonSys

✅ Feelin’ good overall.
✅ Kinda anxious.
✅ No tears today for first time in a few days.
✅ Ignoring, avoiding, denying reality

— lemonSys

[lemonSys]

[ …feelin’ like tea party with a penguin, a turtle, and a princess is in my future … ]

[Breaking Dawn]

Originally Posted by lemonSys

[ …feelin’ like tea party with a penguin, a turtle, and a princess is in my future … ]

Like the Unbirthday Party in Alice in Wonderland or Through the Looking-Glass?

[lemonSys]

Been a “fast n furious” couple days (was triggered); am exhausted. BUT am thankful for my support system and am finding the light again…tomorrow is a new day

[stahrgeyzer]

I’m back in California. One of these days I’d like to see my DID psychologist again because there’s no memory of alters for awhile. All that’s left is little Paul. I still age slide but supposedly that’s not an alter.

[Breaking Dawn]

Congratulations, @stahrgeyzer! It's great that you are actually back in your California, where you were wishing to be. That sounds like a good idea, seeing the DID psychologist again. So many changes since your last visit. Best of luck to you, stahrgeyzer!

[lemonSys]

@stahrgeyzer —

Glad to hear you made it safe!

Hope you get (re)settled soon. Positive vibes and super strength your way

— lemonSys

[stahrgeyzer]

I got lucky and found a good airbnb, a safe one, but the airbnb owner asked me if I accidentally locked the bathroom door. I was like, "Noooo, there's no way!" But later on it hit me like a ton of bricks that throughout my entire life people have accused me of doing things like that. I've told my past therapists there's a part of me that gets up in the middle of the night and occasionally does naughty things. If it's true that something is in me again then I'm going to sink like a rock. Hopefully I can be purged again!

[lemonSys]

Although I have not slept in over 48 hours (I’ve tried), I am actually feeling awake, alert, grounded, and even “oriented x3” as the ppl in the white jackets like to say

[Breaking Dawn]

I also am sleep deprived. But I feel like I've been in a train wreck. My others have been super angry at me & like to physically harm. Oh, well. One minute at a time, & I pray.

[lemonSys]

[ sitting with @Breaking Dawn ]

[stahrgeyzer]

Sorry to hear about both of you are having sleep issues. It's not fun! I've been there in the past. For me depression has always fixed that so these days I sleep well.

[lemonSys]

Stuff has been coming up. Stuff that casts darkness inside. I find writings in my journal(s) about stuff. Does stuff ever stop for good?

— lemonSys

[stahrgeyzer]

Calling someone a robot is supposed to be an insult but I would love to be a robot because they are emotionless and immune to pain. I'm pretty good at numbing at least a little so then I feel like a robot.................................................................................................

[lemonSys]

@stahrgeyzer

…ditto…

[ 🤖 —-> 🚫😣 ]

[stahrgeyzer]

It always has and always will be painful talking to people. Guess it's never going to change

[lemonSys]

Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer

It always has and always will be painful talking to people. Guess it's never going to change

This comment reminds me of a quote I recently came across. I hope it gives you a moment of “non-icky” feelings (it made me kinda chuckle):

“Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.”

Not sure if you can relate per se, but figured I’d share for a try at a smile.

— lemonSys

[lemonSys]

Finally got some sleep. At this specific moment I’m feelin’ pretty ok

[stahrgeyzer]

never mind..............