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Default Jan 24, 2021 at 04:18 PM
  #181
Out for the first time in nearly a decade. The world has gone to s****
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Default Jan 24, 2021 at 04:28 PM
  #182
I have a lot of work to do. I hope I get some energy soon.
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Default Jan 24, 2021 at 08:09 PM
  #183
I am constantly in a dissociative state currently and basically everything just leaves my mind so quickly. My memory is so messed up. I try to write down things or film myself to help myself (mostly just when I am practicing)... But it is weird to only remember things from viewing this material later on, no connection to this whatsoever... I somehow have a few memories of the last few days but totally out of order... It is very confusing... Like multiple days put in one.. It is hard to describe... Apparently I am not the only one living my life... Just like watching a movie like usually...
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Default Jan 24, 2021 at 08:10 PM
  #184
But I am also not in a good place at all so it is probably not a bad thing.
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Default Jan 24, 2021 at 08:11 PM
  #185
But still I hate living like this... :/ Everything sucks so much at the moment.
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Default Jan 25, 2021 at 09:39 AM
  #186
I feel like im not here and present because im feeling stressed out by a couple things that are going on right now. I feel alone and I hate this feeling it makes everything worse
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Default Jan 25, 2021 at 11:38 AM
  #187
Feeling dissociated like I'm somewhere else. An angry part was fronting all night. I remember gaining consciousness right when the body was kicking something. Lots of nightmares as well. I think therapy is stirring things up so we can heal, finally.
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Default Jan 27, 2021 at 04:05 PM
  #188
do think that dogs trust looks after cat?

we want to ask
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Default Jan 27, 2021 at 06:19 PM
  #189
I am trying not to dissociate but it feels like part of me is trying to disappear.
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Default Jan 28, 2021 at 02:58 PM
  #190
I have been having new dreams for the last 8 or so months. My dreams become a followup to something I saw or heard on the computer or in my life. These dreams happen when I am not in a deep sleep. I will sometimes reach for something that is in my dream and that movement will wake me up. Also I have to think hard to know what is a dream and what was real. It bothers me to feel like i am without substance. Like i am creating a memories from nothing that is real. I don't feel like i am grounded. I feel like i could leave life at any time. I don't know how to feel grounded again. I am not able to work, which used to help. Part of me wants to slide back into the chain but another part wants to stay free. Its just scary free without a concrete direction. I am not certain who i am. which self i am at this time. I used to know who I was most of the time and others would help us to know this. But now without a direction, a focus I don't know why I stay. I know I can go anytime. and my sister is my reason for staying. but even that is slipping away. it makes me feel like a coward to think i can leave when i want. i love my family, myself and earth. I know once i go i will not have another experience like this. but the emotional pain of loving someone, loseing someone and watching someone lose themselves is breaking me down.
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Default Jan 29, 2021 at 06:03 AM
  #191
yesterday we watched a video that showed a game that we played when we were younger
sad and happy at the same time. really have the urge to play it, but I know my system won't support it... and getting hold of it isn't easy now either
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Default Jan 29, 2021 at 12:57 PM
  #192
Feels like my head is spinning and dissociated. I want to know how to get the will to live and do things like Elon Musk and others who love to live!
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Default Jan 30, 2021 at 11:42 AM
  #193
Quote:
Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer View Post
Feels like my head is spinning and dissociated. I want to know how to get the will to live and do things like Elon Musk and others who love to live!


what kindo f things would you like to do if you could?

I'm only asking because you particuarly mentioned Elon Musk. were you hoping to be like him? (still am?)
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Default Jan 30, 2021 at 11:43 AM
  #194
another wasted day. check...
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Default Jan 30, 2021 at 12:10 PM
  #195
@raging vortex I would make beautiful starships for the public for those who would want to live there and make it affordable for anyone.
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Default Jan 30, 2021 at 04:21 PM
  #196
Quote:
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@raging vortex I would make beautiful starships for the public for those who would want to live there and make it affordable for anyone.


well I think I'd go on one of those trips. I like space

to add: I have no memory of posting in this thread today

but apparently posted in it twice

yep time loss again..
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Default Jan 30, 2021 at 04:29 PM
  #197
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Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
well I think I'd go on one of those trips. I like space

to add: I have no memory of posting in this thread today

but apparently posted in it twice

yep time loss again..
Could it be another part made the post?
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Default Jan 30, 2021 at 04:41 PM
  #198
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Originally Posted by stahrgeyzer View Post
Could it be another part made the post?


quite possibly. I was looking at the post in question and it didn't look like something I'd personally write
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Default Jan 30, 2021 at 08:07 PM
  #199
Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Too many ''shoulds''.....

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Default Jan 31, 2021 at 05:22 AM
  #200
I didn't sleep (blah) but some of my stuffies got hugs so at least doing stuff for my inner child..
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