[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling strange. Past several days a part, Sam, has been intensely co-fronting non-stop making me feel like a completely different person, good & bad. A lot of passion to work on projects, but very irritable.

[Fuzzybear]

Thinking of a friend on another forum..... (they are ''ok''

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling very dissociated, almost fainting, like switching, but overall things are getting better lately with a lot of help from the others. I guess they've decided few months ago I'm ready to know about them, but they said I can't handle having childhood memories before age 3 even though I'm a trauma holder. They said I'm not the original, and I was created when the body was 3. You'd think that would bother me, but it seems nothing phases me much, like I'm not alive. Maybe it's the meds doing that? ~P.

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling really good lately ever since S. & P. are co-hosting. Hope S. stays front for very long time! S. is the original, the core. So...

[Breaking Dawn]

Hi, @stahrgeyzer! I'm so glad you have this comfortable feeling re: S. & P.! And I hope S. stays as long as you need.

today I saw the name of a

Possible trigger:

passed on relative on some paperwork

but it was written like he was still alive and the fact he died hadn't registered with the staff

spent most of the morning shaking

[Claritytoo]

I have found that if I don't have a daily responsibility I switch in what seems like moment to moment. Parts in control who don't usually function in the world. So than we stop going out and talking to anyone. Even now I just want to hide in a corner. sometimes I want to cry but I don't know why. Recently my panic attacks have increased but I think its because we don't have a direction. I recently adopted a small dog. My other dog died over a year ago. I think of him a lot. Having Molly has helped me focus and has helped us to be a little organized about who is in charge. I just now realized how much my jobs and volunteer work kept me focused and functional over the years. Without a responsibility I have nothing to focus on and loose track of who I am. another thing I noticed is many of myselves have gotten quiter. I am not sure why. I know my protector is here and some littleones. They help me. But some of the others are very quite are very far back. I don't know why. I am being told its because I don't need them now. I am still confused about this. Also my memory is shot. I think others are out and forget to pass out on the information I need to function in world. I used to have someone who would keep us all informed but he's taking a break now that I am aware of being parts. Some of us talk with each other but now all of us.

I have just finished a very enjoyable (and filling) pizza.

peperoni from dominos

[*Beth*]

I'm rethinking dissociation. Suddenly, after how many years(???) I'm viewing it as a gift, a coping mechanism. Not something I do that's wrong.

I showered today

I didn't play with the water or anything though... in too much pain. was just glad to get out

feel kind of ashamed.

my overeating yesterday got so bad. apart from the obvious choice to have a takeout (mcdonalds), before and after I just ate and ate junk

and made myself sick with melted chocolate

feel generally depressed, anyway

I'm in agony with my fibro, and

Possible trigger:

I just don't want to be here anyway

[Breaking Dawn]

I've been talking with my abusive voices & possibly am getting through to them, but I have to wait & see.

I've spent the day (or most of it anyway) overeating

blah

[stahrgeyzer]

Been dissociated a lot which helps numb pain but not good for driving.

Just kinda sad that Calya hasn't fronted in long time. Only co-fronting. Lot of confronters. I'm frontstuck & don't like it.

we all want a fuzzly

like abby hatcher has on her show

[stahrgeyzer]

Feeling a lot better lately, and maybe even happy to be frontstuck. An alter, one of the littles fronted for a short while a few days ago. It saddens me I don't really know my system, who they are except for a few things they tell me. I don't even know what they are, or what to think about them. Sometimes I treat them like they're real people. Sometimes I don't. I lash out, pushing them away, saying they're aren't real and to stop talking to me. I think most of them are mad at me and just exhausted from this rollercoaster ride. They call me a persecutor.

[ReveuseTroublee]

wtf and ??? can't decide but that is how I feel mostly about myself lately...

I wish I could hide away forever.
I am so embarrassed of myself.
Why do I talk about these things? Nobody will understand anyway.

[Breaking Dawn]

I've been dissociated most of the time lately. But I have had some hours of sleep that I really needed for a long time. I need to go to the store today. I hope I can manage ok.

[ReveuseTroublee]

I have this issue where I start writing about things I later on feel completely embarrassed about and can't agree on. I feel so ashamed right now.
Crying won't help me now either.
Usually I laugh this time I feel more like crying.
Also I can't delete it anymore so yeah I won't be able to edit it either.
Has anybody else these issues? I feel very alone right now with everything.