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susannahsays
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Default Feb 05, 2022 at 08:08 PM
  #741
I feel bad. Don't feel like getting into details of my DID. It is a diagnosis I still feel defensive about even after almost 20 years. Wow, just realized how long it's been. Yet still I am not well. Apparently.

I'm just so tired. I wish I was someone else. Maybe that's part of the problem.

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Default Feb 06, 2022 at 08:48 AM
  #742
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Originally Posted by susannahsays View Post
I feel bad. Don't feel like getting into details of my DID. It is a diagnosis I still feel defensive about even after almost 20 years. Wow, just realized how long it's been. Yet still I am not well. Apparently.

I'm just so tired. I wish I was someone else. Maybe that's part of the problem.


I have wished to be someone else, too (or in my case, something else)
what I really want is to become a cat, dog, or dolphin, and just live the life of an animal- it would be so much more carefree. just imagine being someone's pet dog, playing fetch, getting lots of strokes, going on walkies, having treats, I don't know about you.. but it's a darn sight better than being someone you're not happy with.

I'll never have the body of an animal, and it really depresses me. I've often even wondered if it has a name, a human thinking they belong better in an animal body.
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Default Feb 06, 2022 at 08:52 AM
  #743
one of my alters does actually identify as a dolphin, so their's that.
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Default Feb 06, 2022 at 07:00 PM
  #744
I don't want to be an animal. I have briefly wished I was someone else. More often I wished I was invisible. I can relate to being too tired. And not getting things done leads me to feeling bad about myself.

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Default Feb 08, 2022 at 05:13 AM
  #745
slightly frustrated

yesterday I was hoping to post a story that I'd written about a baby getting ready for bed- but when it came down to posting it, I found that I don't actually have it

must have been deleted but don't remember deleting it
shame since it was the only thing I actually put thought in to in my entire life

I still don't have a dvd player, either
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Default Feb 08, 2022 at 05:52 AM
  #746
I have also woke up to flnding things deleted. I guess I did it when I was dissociated.

I have been having quite a hard time lately. But I have better sections of time now & then. Yesterday I did pretty well most of the day, then the voices, or one of the main voices, changed their/his mood & it's been difficult.

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Default Feb 08, 2022 at 07:09 PM
  #747
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Originally Posted by raging vortex View Post
I have wished to be someone else, too (or in my case, something else)
what I really want is to become a cat, dog, or dolphin, and just live the life of an animal- it would be so much more carefree. just imagine being someone's pet dog, playing fetch, getting lots of strokes, going on walkies, having treats, I don't know about you.. but it's a darn sight better than being someone you're not happy with.

I'll never have the body of an animal, and it really depresses me. I've often even wondered if it has a name, a human thinking they belong better in an animal body.
otherkin is the word you’re looking for, I think. Dogkin potentially
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Default Mar 29, 2022 at 04:27 AM
  #748
I have not so much as yawned in the last week

you'd think I'd be at least a little bit tired by now, because I'm not resting.

but nope

sleep's really messed up
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Default Mar 29, 2022 at 04:58 AM
  #749
It's really been very hard.

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Default Mar 29, 2022 at 10:55 PM
  #750
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It's really been very hard.
hugs to you

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Default May 15, 2022 at 08:16 PM
  #751
I watched a movie about DID for free on pluto website called Frankie & Alice staring Halle Berry. It's a triggering movie but I liked it.

I'm living in another state in the US. Life is stressful so far. My head always feels like it's going to explode. I completely dissociate in stores and sometimes strangers in the store snap me out of it which is embarrassing.

This feels so weird typing now, like I'm far away and not even here. Bad part is I don't even know who I am right now. I have recent memories of being Phoenix.


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Default May 15, 2022 at 08:37 PM
  #752
Welcome back, @stahrgeyzer. I have that problem, too, wondering who I am & feeling like I'm walking around in someone elses body. Etc. I googled "The world is a dream" today & found some really good articles. I'm going to keep reading there. I didn't feel like such a misfit after reading today. Take care everyone.

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Default May 18, 2022 at 09:59 AM
  #753
Maybe this will help someone. I felt the need to post this because I've always been terribly lonely and the DID area here is very slow. I don't feel like I fit anywhere else on mysupportforums other than here in the DID area.

I plan on staying here at MSF but since it's very slow and since I recently went back to facebook I joined a half dozen active DID groups on facebook. They're private groups and can be found by searching for dissociative identity disorder in the groups search but be warned that since facebook requires you to display your first and last name that everyone in the private group can see it. The good part is that the only way anyone can see your name or posts is if they're a member of that particular facebook DID group.

Also if you ever decide to leave the groups then you can permanently delete all of your group posts in one click. That's something facebook allows. No trace.

So far the DID groups look very nice and are full of support filled with nice people. Most of the groups do not require a DID diagnoses. Some people in the groups have OSDD and not DID. A few people don't have any disorders but post there only as support of others.

There are dozens of DID groups on facebook but I chose to join 12 of them. So far 6 of them have accepted my request.

If there are dozens of DID groups then I'd imagine there are a lot more groups for other disorders like schizoaffective disorder.

So this is like a dream for me/us.
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Default May 19, 2022 at 04:29 PM
  #754
These forums here, PC/MSF, are the only online groups I've been a member of. I know we don't post enough on a lot of our threads, & in social groups. It's a problem at times. And I'm guilty of it myself sometimes. I've concluded that much of the problem is that our mental illnesses get in the way. Today I am having a lot of sadness. There are things I want to do, & I keep trying & wishing. I have a lot of pain. I feel so trapped. The voices are cruel & I can't get away from them. They're bullying & taunting me while I'm writing this. If any of you can relate to this, maybe you wouldn't mind sharing your thoughts & feelings?

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Default May 20, 2022 at 09:55 AM
  #755
hugs and respect to all

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Default May 22, 2022 at 02:25 AM
  #756
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hugs and respect to all

And to you, too, Fuzzy...the best bear in the world

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Default May 23, 2022 at 09:32 PM
  #757
It has been so painful at times. I plead with them to stop but they only jeer & keep pain jabbing me, etc. It seems like there isn't anyone in my brain who cares. I have to endure it completely alone. I have been too warn out to do the things that need to be done. I'm so ashamed of myself. I keep hoping tomorrow will be the beginning of the change I keep waiting for. But there are breaks where I can relax somewhat & build some strength. If only I could hold onto that & learn how to obliviate them entirely.

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Default May 23, 2022 at 10:00 PM
  #758
Sorry you're going through that! My initial thought is that it could be helpful to see if meds help. It's possible for meds to help reduces the voices for some disorders like schizoaffective but often don't help for DID. If it's DID then a therapist knowledgeable in DID could work with the alters.
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Default Jun 03, 2022 at 10:34 AM
  #759
I've been doing a little bit better sometimes lately. I feel sad, though. But not all the time.

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Default Jun 03, 2022 at 05:43 PM
  #760
Same, I've been doing a little bit better.

BTW I just noticed that under my username it says I'm Phoenix. I need to remove that. Phoenix vanished weeks ago. I feel like I'm one of the cohosts who's been here since the body was 13ish.
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