advertisement
Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
rise13eyond
Member
rise13eyond has no updates.
 
Member Since: Aug 2018
Location: Nowheresville
Posts: 233
5 yr Member
120 hugs
given
Default Dec 23, 2020 at 08:09 PM
  #1
I thought this was kind of interesting so I thought I'd share. So I've been dissociating since before I can remember. I don't have any specific memories of it from when I was younger but I know I've done it since I was little, depersonalization and derealization included. I never told anyone about it then because I didn't know there was a word for it and I didn't know how to describe it. But the derealization made me thing everyone around me didn't exist, so my child brain assumed the world around me and everyone in it was a figment of my imagination, I went for I don't even know how long thinking the entire world was imaginary. Yeah I was an odd child.

__________________
Because in truth, I am that monster.
We are an awkward little system that obsesses over things. We are Sam, Beyond, Stacy, Kevin, Kitty, Shannon,Link, Peyita, Stephen, Nicole, Damon, Pumpkin, Illonor, Daran,LIly. Feel free to send random cute things.
rise13eyond is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Alatea, Anonymous49502, Breaking Dawn, Fuzzybear, MtnTime2896, ReveuseTroublee, stahrgeyzer, Taylor27
 
Thanks for this!
ReveuseTroublee

advertisement
Universal System
Junior Member
 
Universal System's Avatar
Universal System has no updates.
 
Member Since: Dec 2019
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 18
3 yr Member
3 hugs
given
Default Dec 25, 2020 at 08:13 PM
  #2
The first memory I have have was my dad asking me what I wanted for my birthday and me being very confused why he was asking that because from my perspective we just celebrated my birthday the week before. I didn't realize it at the time but I later figured out that other alters must of been fronting during that time causing me to lose almost and entire year between two of my birthdays.


There's also the fact that my earliest memory in life is waking up early in the morning. My older brother was getting ready for school, I was still too young and hadn't started school yet. But even at the time I had zero memory of anything before that and I didn't think the world existed before that moment. I actually thought myself and the entire world came into existence in that moment. What makes it even weirder is I knew who was my family was, I knew were I was despite at the same time feeling like it was the first time I was ever there, and it was the first time I met my dad and my brother... my mother was still asleep but I also knew she existed and who she was before I actually saw her even though I was sure I never seen her before.

I never quested "Where do babies come from?" Because I just figures everyone came into the world in a specific age and role all at the same time. I thought that was normal where everyone just appeared in the world already knowing things about their lives but not knowing why they knew things because nothing existed before that. It makes absolutely no sense and trying to explain it hurts my brain but for a long time I thought everyone had that experience and would understand what I meant but no one understood what I was talking about.

The best way I can describe it is it was like loading into a video game. I had some details on my character's back story like from a user manual but no specific information cause the story didn't start till I spawned in.

Maybe someone here will understand what I mean as it's so hard to try to explain to someone who hasn't experienced this before. The OP's description sounds kinda similar to what I'm trying to describe but not exactly.
Universal System is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
*Beth*, Alatea, Breaking Dawn, MtnTime2896, rise13eyond, stahrgeyzer
 
Thanks for this!
Breaking Dawn, MtnTime2896, rise13eyond
Anonymous49502
Guest
Anonymous49502 has no updates. Edit
 
Posts: n/a
Default Jan 25, 2021 at 05:57 AM
  #3
In highschool I was pretty convinced that the world was a virtual reality simulation. Having excessively vivid dreams didn't help! haha. Thank you for sharing your experience.
  Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, rise13eyond, stahrgeyzer
 
Thanks for this!
rise13eyond
stahrgeyzer
Magnate
stahrgeyzer has no updates.
 
Member Since: Feb 2018
Location: southern california
Posts: 2,238
5 yr Member
5,559 hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 25, 2021 at 11:52 AM
  #4
Interesting topic. In childhood I always thought the world changed when I changed, making me think reality was not so real. At age 12 I was walking down the blvd going home and suddenly I woke up. It something I've tried to figure out my entire life because every memory before 12 seems like a dream, as if the "real" me was born at age 12. I've asked lot of people if they had this experience or knew what it was. Everyone probably thought I'm crazy. Since learning I have DID it makes more sense. In adulthood life seems like a lucid dream or being awake in a dream. The idea we live in a simulation is also a possibility. It can make life more interesting and adventurous.
stahrgeyzer is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
 
Hugs from:
Breaking Dawn, rise13eyond
 
Thanks for this!
Breaking Dawn, rise13eyond
*Beth*
catches the flowers
*Beth* is practicing healthy breathing for brain, mind, body, spirit.
 
Member Since: Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701 (SuperPoster!)
3 yr Member
23.7k hugs
given
PC PoohBah!
Default Jan 30, 2021 at 07:14 PM
  #5
The first memory I have of derealization was when I was 8. I had just left my house and was walking to school. Since then, it only became more prevalent. By my late-20's the world seemed like I was watching a movie all the time. That has remained, and now I'm 58.

__________________




*Beth* is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
ReveuseTroublee
Member
ReveuseTroublee has no updates.
 
Member Since: Jan 2021
Location: France
Posts: 154
3 yr Member
86 hugs
given
Default Mar 28, 2021 at 05:29 AM
  #6
Quote:
Originally Posted by rise13eyond View Post
I thought this was kind of interesting so I thought I'd share. So I've been dissociating since before I can remember. I don't have any specific memories of it from when I was younger but I know I've done it since I was little, depersonalization and derealization included. I never told anyone about it then because I didn't know there was a word for it and I didn't know how to describe it. But the derealization made me thing everyone around me didn't exist, so my child brain assumed the world around me and everyone in it was a figment of my imagination, I went for I don't even know how long thinking the entire world was imaginary. Yeah I was an odd child.
Especially when I was in kindergarten I think there was a time where I did not know if things were memories or just dreams I had before waking up...
I also remember asking my parents if they were my parents around that age and not believing them when they said yes. I always thought I was just day-dreaming around the time I was in school and just had a vivid imagination, just a little more than others but still normal, I really can't tell. It is odd to think about these things. But I think to a certain degree it is normal I thought? It felt comfortable and safe. I really can't tell. I don't know life any differently. Being able to have access to my memories, to not having any access at all. Now it is only scary really because of BPD and the self-harm urges and suicidal ideation... Losing control, time, things like that which are more annoying as an adult.
I don't know organizing my thoughts and telling this happened then are difficult in general. For me it always feels like a lot less time has passed.
ReveuseTroublee is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
AliceKate
Grand Member
 
AliceKate's Avatar
AliceKate has an update
 
Member Since: Jan 2021
Location: On a raindrop far, far away
Posts: 871
3 yr Member
2,208 hugs
given
Default Mar 29, 2021 at 03:00 PM
  #7
Quote:
Originally Posted by ReveuseTroublee View Post
Especially when I was in kindergarten I think there was a time where I did not know if things were memories or just dreams I had before waking up...
Same here, though I still have that. Little things mainly, like thinking I bought toilet paper and turns out I didn't. Nothing too bad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ReveuseTroublee View Post
I also remember asking my parents if they were my parents around that age and not believing them when they said yes. I always thought I was just day-dreaming around the time I was in school and just had a vivid imagination, just a little more than others but still normal, I really can't tell. It is odd to think about these things. But I think to a certain degree it is normal I thought?
Agreed, seems normal to a certain extend. This world is surreal.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ReveuseTroublee View Post
It felt comfortable and safe. I really can't tell. I don't know life any differently. Being able to have access to my memories, to not having any access at all. Now it is only scary really because of BPD and the self-harm urges and suicidal ideation... Losing control, time, things like that which are more annoying as an adult.
Goof luck
AliceKate is offline   Reply With QuoteReply With Quote
All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:23 PM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.



 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.