[just2b]

My son is 19. He has been suffering from depression. He lost his job just during the pandemic. He has not found a new job and I do not give him gas money but have paid his phone bill. I struggle on whether or not this is enabling him or not. Partly I feel it is. and yet I also consider the time and circumstances we are in and feel that he could use some help. I want to tell him that no more in the new year that Dec was the last bill that I will pay, he needs to start getting past his depression and start caring and make some money somehow. I myself am in the apathetic state of mind, and not sure if I am headed towards a depressive state myself.
even when I say no more money, another part gives in and gives it to him. I guess it is a constant struggle.

[Amyjay]

Yeah. Parenting with DID is hard. All we can do is the best we can do.
I feel your dilemma with your son. I don't know whether it is enabling him or not either. It has got to be so much harder to try to figure it all out when you're struggling too.
Can you talk with him openly about your feelings around it? Depends on everyone's state of mind, I guess.

[kecanoe]

It is hard to know what to do, especially with the pandemic. One thing that helps me is to wonder if it will make a difference in 10 years if I take a particular action.

[just2b]

My own state of mind is in Apathetic, and Detachment. So I have no clue. Will fake it as much as I can that i am MOM.

[karl7]

i suffered badly from depression in my teens and early 20's.....i was not able to work for the most part, depression really disables you.....is it possible that your son could apply for some social welfare payment

[just2b]

doubt he would as he is not even willing to see a counselor