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Creepeh
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Default Jan 03, 2021 at 04:10 AM
  #1
I am unsure.

I think I might have trauma I repressed/don't remember that caused me to not remember most of my childhood.

But how do I find out if I do?

How do I know if it isn't just that I dissociated most of my childhood and it's just a dissociation problem?

Since I do currently have problems with dissociating daily. But haven't been diagnosed with a dissociation disorder.

I tried telling my pdoc that I am having problems with dissociation but he keeps changing the subject or just brushes it off.

Before anyone says to change pdoc, it isn't that simple for me.

My pdoc is part of the reason I was able to get social security/disability money.

If I change pdocs that might get taken away. Which wouldn't be good.

I could try seeing a therapist again but I am unsure.

I still live with my parents at the age of 22 (almost 23).

I do have my own room but if I were to go on Zoom with the therapist. I'm afraid my dad would hear what I am saying. Since his room is nearby and he has to be in there for work. Since he has been working from home.

There are no other rooms that I could go to for privacy.

I can't ask him to go downstairs and work because his setup is in his room. He has a desktop computer and he's a IT guy.
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Default Jan 03, 2021 at 06:10 AM
  #2
I'd love to be able to forget my abuse at the hands of parents, teachers, other relatives. childhood was not fun for me what so ever, specially because

Possible trigger:


which I think demonstrates perfectly how messed up it all was (and continues to be) for me.

I'm in my 20's, but I don't act it. I act a lot younger and I think it's clear to see why... my childhood was short, horrible, and quite the oppositte of how a child should live.
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Default Jan 03, 2021 at 01:00 PM
  #3
Quote:
Originally Posted by Creepeh View Post
I am unsure.

I think I might have trauma I repressed/don't remember that caused me to not remember most of my childhood.

But how do I find out if I do?

How do I know if it isn't just that I dissociated most of my childhood and it's just a dissociation problem?

Since I do currently have problems with dissociating daily. But haven't been diagnosed with a dissociation disorder.

I tried telling my pdoc that I am having problems with dissociation but he keeps changing the subject or just brushes it off.

Before anyone says to change pdoc, it isn't that simple for me.

My pdoc is part of the reason I was able to get social security/disability money.

If I change pdocs that might get taken away. Which wouldn't be good.

I could try seeing a therapist again but I am unsure.

I still live with my parents at the age of 22 (almost 23).

I do have my own room but if I were to go on Zoom with the therapist. I'm afraid my dad would hear what I am saying. Since his room is nearby and he has to be in there for work. Since he has been working from home.

There are no other rooms that I could go to for privacy.

I can't ask him to go downstairs and work because his setup is in his room. He has a desktop computer and he's a IT guy.
unfortunately or fortunately depending upon point of view, because there are so many normal and not so normal reasons a person may not remember things, the only way to know for sure is through your treatment providers. let me give you an example of what I mean...

medications can cause a person to not remember their childhoods. if you google any medications the side effects say affects memory.

if you google every possible mental disorder physical problem out there you will see that every mental and physical problem has memory issues.

if you google dissociative amnesia you will find that the memory issues associated with this is vary narrow. its not a situation of not remembering your whole childhood all the time 24/7. amnesia (forgetfulness beyond the normal due to dissociation) is one that is trigger related.

example I have dissociative amnesia. I experience a trigger, then everything about and involved with that trigger is not remembered .........until.......... things are once again calm. when I am no longer triggered that memory is back to normal again.

dissociative amnesia is now one of the easiest dissociative problems to solve, it usually only lasts for a couple hours with me, but others that I know its lasted as long as 2 days. anti depressant/ anxiety meds make it so that I no longer get so triggered by things in my childhood that I feel numb and not remember it.

my suggestion since your memory problem spans your whole childhood you might want to contact your medical doctor and see if there is a TBI (a physical problem called Traumatic Brain Injury) or your medications that may be preventing you from remembering your childhood.

if you cant contact your treatment providers heres what I go by while waiting to get in touch with my treatment providers....

dissociation is a normal response to a trigger, though it can cause life long problems where I may constantly dissociate when encountering triggers, dissociation itself is only there for how ever long someone is experiencing the trigger. if Im not remembering something from my childhood then I look around to see what in today is causing me to not remember it.

I also keep in mind that its completely normal not to remember ones childhood. most people only remember isolated situations from their childhood they dont remember every single detail, day, and so on of their childhood, the human brain has an amazing system of throwing out the trash as we live. humans only use a portion of their brains storage space. (you can learn more about the brain using google or taking a class on the brain) even the happy go lucky, great childhood people dont remember their whole childhood. its normal to not remember things.

when I cant get in touch with my doctors, using these 2 bits of information, Im able to remain calm and not have problems over the fact that I cant remember things all the time, then I talk with my doctors when I can.

also here in the USA a person doesnt lose their SSI/ disability for switching doctors. america has a health care system that is separate from social security.

since you have SSI/ disability you automatically have health insurance (medicaid or medicare) here all americans must be covered by health insurance and everyone on SSI is signed up with a health insurance company that covers their doctor appointments and therapy and dental. sometimes people get two different insurance companies.

to change treatment providers just call around and ask treatment providers in your area if they accept your insurance plan. example if I wanted to change treatment providers I would call around asking "hello are you accepting new patients? do you accept Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance?"

here in america you dont lose SSI / disability for changing doctors.
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Thanks for this!
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Default Jan 03, 2021 at 02:19 PM
  #4
Quote:
Originally Posted by amandalouise View Post
unfortunately or fortunately depending upon point of view, because there are so many normal and not so normal reasons a person may not remember things, the only way to know for sure is through your treatment providers. let me give you an example of what I mean...


medications can cause a person to not remember their childhoods. if you google any medications the side effects say affects memory.


if you google every possible mental disorder physical problem out there you will see that every mental and physical problem has memory issues.


if you google dissociative amnesia you will find that the memory issues associated with this is vary narrow. its not a situation of not remembering your whole childhood all the time 24/7. amnesia (forgetfulness beyond the normal due to dissociation) is one that is trigger related.


example I have dissociative amnesia. I experience a trigger, then everything about and involved with that trigger is not remembered .........until.......... things are once again calm. when I am no longer triggered that memory is back to normal again.


dissociative amnesia is now one of the easiest dissociative problems to solve, it usually only lasts for a couple hours with me, but others that I know its lasted as long as 2 days. anti depressant/ anxiety meds make it so that I no longer get so triggered by things in my childhood that I feel numb and not remember it.


my suggestion since your memory problem spans your whole childhood you might want to contact your medical doctor and see if there is a TBI (a physical problem called Traumatic Brain Injury) or your medications that may be preventing you from remembering your childhood.


if you cant contact your treatment providers heres what I go by while waiting to get in touch with my treatment providers....


dissociation is a normal response to a trigger, though it can cause life long problems where I may constantly dissociate when encountering triggers, dissociation itself is only there for how ever long someone is experiencing the trigger. if Im not remembering something from my childhood then I look around to see what in today is causing me to not remember it.


I also keep in mind that its completely normal not to remember ones childhood. most people only remember isolated situations from their childhood they dont remember every single detail, day, and so on of their childhood, the human brain has an amazing system of throwing out the trash as we live. humans only use a portion of their brains storage space. (you can learn more about the brain using google or taking a class on the brain) even the happy go lucky, great childhood people dont remember their whole childhood. its normal to not remember things.


when I cant get in touch with my doctors, using these 2 bits of information, Im able to remain calm and not have problems over the fact that I cant remember things all the time, then I talk with my doctors when I can.


also here in the USA a person doesnt lose their SSI/ disability for switching doctors. america has a health care system that is separate from social security.


since you have SSI/ disability you automatically have health insurance (medicaid or medicare) here all americans must be covered by health insurance and everyone on SSI is signed up with a health insurance company that covers their doctor appointments and therapy and dental. sometimes people get two different insurance companies.


to change treatment providers just call around and ask treatment providers in your area if they accept your insurance plan. example if I wanted to change treatment providers I would call around asking "hello are you accepting new patients? do you accept Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance?"


here in america you dont lose SSI / disability for changing doctors.
Thank you for your response. It was helpful.

Sorry I don't think I explained all the way what I meant of being worried I would lose my SSI/disability if I changed doctors.

What I meant was I was worried if I changed doctors, the new doctor might think I am not disabled enough and would say to the SSI/disability people that I don't need it.
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