FAQ/Help |
Calendar |
Search |
Member
WonderSun
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2022
Location: UK
Posts: 47
34 hugs
given |
#1
Therapy this morning was difficult. Still not feeling quite here. Been tough these last few weeks or so. Having awful vivid visions at night when I’m sat on the toilet and feel like I’m being watched (part of what was happening in my past). The visions appear to show things like bugs, snakes (all things that are not actually in my toilet), and
Possible trigger:
One big struggle at the moment is saying the words like genitalia specifically. I’ve said to my therapist that I keep struggling with those and then not able to finish what I was saying. So today tried talking about it, she was saying all the words
Possible trigger:
I ******* hate it. I hate how my life is full of these moments where I’m stuck. It bothers me that I can’t say what I need to. It’s frustrating. Last edited by bluekoi; Feb 23, 2022 at 01:49 PM.. Reason: Add trigger codes. |
Reply With Quote |
*Beth*, convalescence, Fuzzybear, mote.of.soul, wordshaker, Yaowen
|
*Beth*
|
Wisest Elder Ever
Fuzzybear
has no updates.
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,301
(SuperPoster!)
81.2k hugs
given |
#2
__________________ |
Reply With Quote |
mote.of.soul, WonderSun
|
WonderSun
|
Mad Walker
mote.of.soul
Act not the goat
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,041
(SuperPoster!)
21.9k hugs
given |
#3
Hi WonderSun.
I am sorry you're struggling with all these distressing intrusive thoughts and feelings, it's very horrible to experience all the time obviously, and I can relate to aspects of it in my own way. I also think it's great you're addressing it. Good on you! From what I know, from what I understand, pervasive feelings of embarrassment can be related to the humiliating experiences you endured in your life. They can really get into the mind and shape aspects of how you react to certain things, especially if the humiliating experiences were ongoing through the formative years of childhood development. The humiliation (and likely other emotions too) can, in many cases, lead to a condition known as 'toxic shame' and become an almost fundamental foundation in one's emotional response. So, that's what I wanted to share with you about that aspect of your post WonderSun. If you agree or if you can relate to it, it might be good to talk about it with your T. Stay strong and determined, the positive feelings will return eventually.🙏 __________________ "A flower falls, even though we love it; and a weed grows, even though we do not love it."- Dōgen
|
Reply With Quote |
WonderSun
|
WonderSun
|
Member
wordshaker
“She took a step and didn't want to take anymore,
but she did.”
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Northeast
Posts: 315
245 hugs
given |
#4
Quote:
|
|
Reply With Quote |
*Beth*
|
Member
WonderSun
has no updates.
Member Since: Feb 2022
Location: UK
Posts: 47
34 hugs
given |
#5
@mote.of.soul, thank you for your kind response. I’m sorry it’s taken so long to reply, hasn’t been an easy time of it lately. I’ve not really had the positive feelings about me or my body. It’s always been full of hatred or pain. I’m not having those vivid visions anymore, or at least haven’t in a while, but do still feel unsafe and vulnerable. The more I open up, the worse it seems to feel. And, I’ve identified, the more I seem to binge! Being reminded of horrific things sends me right back. My body hurts and I feel things inside I’d much rather forgot!! I’m trying, and often feel like I’m failing
@wordshaker, thank you for your kind reply too. I’ve started reading that book, oh months ago I think now, but didn’t get very far. It’s very difficult to follow. The way it’s written is not in the best format. While I’m not thick by any measure, for something as important and deep as body memories, trauma and trauma responses, I think it needed to be dulled down a bit more. It’s not an easy read from what I’ve discovered so far, but I do wanna read it. I will, in time. Thank you for your healing thoughts, same back to you! |
Reply With Quote |
mote.of.soul, wordshaker
|
mote.of.soul
|
Member
wordshaker
“She took a step and didn't want to take anymore,
but she did.”
Member Since: Jan 2018
Location: Northeast
Posts: 315
245 hugs
given |
#6
Quote:
__________________ “I wanted to ask her how the same thing could be so ugly and so glorious, and its words and stories so damning and brilliant...I AM HAUNTED BY HUMANS.” —The Book Thief |
|
Reply With Quote |
WonderSun
|
WonderSun
|