Not sure where I belong

I have schizoaffective disorder and social anxiety, I also dissociate, moreso when anxious, I don't lose a lot of time,. Maybe parts of a conversation. I am startled when it ends and it is like waking into a dream, but it is real. I know who and where I am.

from 2003 through 2005 I had sensations where I felt people were inside moving me physically and talking through me, I had thoughts that I had alternate personalities, but people told me that was part of schizoaffective and not real.

I finally went to a therapist i found through ISSTD. He had me fill out some forms and did a structured interview, He told me i don't have DID, but DDNOS (at the time) with fragments. I could not afford to keep seeing him but i gave the results to my therapist, She was open to trying to communicate with any other parts but nothing really came of it,

My insurance changed last year and I was able to see the therapist who ran the tests. I run out of things to say so he spaced the appointments further and further apart and then told me to just contact him if I need an appointment, I did not like that. I finally got up the courage to tell him I wanted to see him on a regular basis and then he moved me back to "as needed". I am seeing a new therapist on Mon. I really don't know much about her background, but she does some Internal Family Systems which I think may be helpful.

Anyways, the sensations stopped years ago and if there are alters they are really quiet,

It has been difficult. I have had psychotic symptoms and experienced things that can't possibly be real but it was my reality at the time.

Nice to meet you all.

Thanks for posting. I hope you new therapist goes well. Keep us up to date if it's okay. I can relate to what you said. My first psychologist gave me a preliminary diagnoses of schizoaffective disorder but my psychiatrist said I definitely did not have it. My 2nd psychologist diagnosed me as schizoaffective disorder and a zillion other things lol. My 2nd psychiatrist diagnosed me with BPD. Second T sent me to an extremely experienced psychologist who has DID experience. He said I didn't have schizoaffective disorder, but rather I had DID.

I no longer go to therapy and in the in conclude that some people such as myself are outside the realm of what modern psychology can diagnose and understand. That's my hypothesis at least, which I hope to test one day.

I guess the main goal of psychology is the help people so they don't really have to correctly understand what's happening to help. They probably help most people, but for me it was the opposite. Oh well I'm okay and hanging in there thanks to a lot of inner people who are actually help me/us.

Hi, Lorib. I feel like crying. I believe I'm schizoaffective, though not officially diagnosed. I don't think I have DID, but maybe I do. I hope you keep posting in this forum, & maybe join our check in thread? I feel less weird when I hear other people have some of my symptoms.

Welcome, @Lorib64

Appreciate you sharing a lil bout you. Here’s a lil bout me…

I’ve been dx’d as bipolar, DDNOS (now OSDD), schizoaffective, and DID (not all at same time). Most of my yrs on the planet here were under a label of Bipolar1 with psychotic features. Never felt right to me. And the antipsychotic meds never helped the (so called) psychoses. DID “feels more right”, for me, in my case.

I hope your new therapist experience goes well. I’m sorry the one you wanted to see regularly won’t make that commitment with you.

Keep us in the loop, should you so choose.

— lemonSys[K]