Getting to know the system

Just kind of a list I’m building for us as we start becoming more whole and cooperating and appreciating each other.

Sam is the host (they/them, although they’re not out yet but I’m trying to tell them to be their self). Sam is pretty chill. Iffy concentration, but once they ground themself they love to read and learn new things-anything! but their fear makes them guarded and scatterbrained.

Me! I’m the protector. I get things done. I’m the one who does the boundary setting. I’ve been out a lot lately because we haven’t been in the safest of places and I’m trying to help form a plan so we can work together better and find safety so we don’t feel the need to front and Sam feels more in control and can thrive. (I go by Logan he/him)

Ashley-little

Eleven- I don’t understand her or her purpose. She doesn’t really front much, but sometimes therapy brings her out. Holds all the shame and guilt I guess.

Guy- self-abuser. I want this asshole gone!

Unnamed memory holder- we try not to open Pandora’s box here, although Sam wants to remember a lot that we’re all protecting them from so they can function. I’ve “tried on” some memories and trust me it’s not good. .

We’re working on working together better so no one freaks out when we dissociate/switch. If Guy can take a month long nap we might be able to get ourselves in a good position to get help with that.

I do not have DID, but I did listen to Amazon.com "No Bad Parts". What I learned from that approach is that you cannot be effective by wishing that asshole gone. You need to understand him and work with him.

Good luck!

I’m just pissed all the time and everyone gets pissed at me when I take it out on others so, gonna take it out on me BECAUSE THATS WHAT I FKING NEED TO DO TO GET IT OUT

I just purged because were being kicked out today and it’s not right. It feels weird because Logan wrote a list of shyt to do today including fill out an application for a residential for homeless WOMEN. Sams fking non-binary, Logan’s a dude, I’m a ******* dude. Yeah, I get we have boobs (barely lol but we can’t walk around shirtless lmao), but picture us getting outed. We won’t because we have out shyt together enough to blend or have our shyt so fked up that we can claim manic schizo insanity.

Ugh. Just sick of living.