[cool09]

I've searched from Philadelphia to Baltimore and can't find any therapists (or treatment centers) who treat dissociation who take Medicare and offer in-person visits. (I'm not going to do virtual therapy. I tried that once.) I've talked about my dissociation which started 45 yrs ago with every Dr, therapist and hospital I've been to the last 25 yrs and NO one wants to discuss it.
I've had all 4 stages of dissociation in my life mainly not being able to identify with myself and having derealization badly in my teens. I told the top Psychiatrist at Johns Hopkins that dissociation and severe mood disorder damaged what was left of my personality in my teens/20's and he was absolutely dumbfounded and didn't respond.
I don't know where to turn and I'm very sick. My present psychiatrist won't discuss any of this and still wonders why I am hopeless and haven't liked myself since I was 13.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by cool09

I've searched from Philadelphia to Baltimore and can't find any therapists (or treatment centers) who treat dissociation who take Medicare and offer in-person visits. (I'm not going to do virtual therapy. I tried that once.) I've talked about my dissociation which started 45 yrs ago with every Dr, therapist and hospital I've been to the last 25 yrs and NO one wants to discuss it.
I've had all 4 stages of dissociation in my life mainly not being able to identify with myself and having derealization badly in my teens. I told the top Psychiatrist at Johns Hopkins that dissociation and severe mood disorder damaged what was left of my personality in my teens/20's and he was absolutely dumbfounded and didn't respond.
I don't know where to turn and I'm very sick. My present psychiatrist won't discuss any of this and still wonders why I am hopeless and haven't liked myself since I was 13.

Im sorry you are having trouble finding a treatment provider who works on dissociation.

my first thought in reading your post is 25 years of bringing up the topic of "dissociation" wow thats alot of time.

here where I am there is the saying - do the same thing over and over again get the same results.

If you want to get a different result do something different.

25 years of trying to get treatment providers to discuss "dissociation" with you has gotten you nowhere,

25 years of searching for a "dissociation" treatment provider has gotten you nowhere.

same thing same result time and time again. maybe its time for a change.

Dont look for a "dissociation" treatment provider, dont focus so much on the word "dissociation"

look deeper at your life and changes you want to make in yourself and your life that will help you to dissociate less.

After 25 years of therapy and seeking out psychiatrists you know you best, you know what types of therapy there are and you know what kinds of treatment providers you work best with in the past.

think about what you do know and make some changes. they wont discuss "dissociation" with you, ok look deeper beyond the word "dissociation". are there any issues that ......cause...... you to dissociate? work on those for that is working on dissociation.

in other words, take the word "dissociation" out of the conversation and focus point, by looking deeper to what things about you and your life you want to change, which will change your "dissociation reactions."

As for locating treatment providers. here in the USA treatment providers are trained in therapy thats what their job is. they are trained in recognizing mental disorders and trained in developing treatment plans by using approved, present day therapy approaches - CBT, DBT and so on and so forth.

so rather than looking for a "dissociation" treatment provider, think about what ............type.............of therapy you want to do. look for a treatment provider who does the type of therapy you want to try doing.

are you interested in doing CBT, look for a therapist that does Cognitive behavioral therapy, if you are interested in DBT look for a therapist who does DBT and so on and so forth.

focusing on "dissociation" and trying to find a "dissociation treatment provider for 25 years has gotten you nowhere so maybe take the word dissociation out of this and approach it from your deeper issues that are .........causing........ you to dissociate and what type of therapy you want to do will get a different result

[cool09]

If you want to get a different result do something different.
look deeper at your life and changes you want to make in yourself and your life that will help you to dissociate less.

I've tried doing SO many different things in my life. Staying active in my 20's/30's (going to college, working) only made everything 10 times worse! And I ended up having 7 nervous breakdowns from 1986-1993, ended up in the hospital taking horrible medications and getting 17 ECT treatments which DESTROYED my energy - I spent 2 yrs in bed after ECT, I went on disability and into a halfway house which was absolutely traumatic! My energy hasn't been the same since! I've spent the last 20 yrs in bed. I've exercised most of my life and it didn't do a damn thing for my mood or energy.

I responded to paxil in 1996, got off disability, took a job at a law firm then took a job with Air Force in NM (and all my superiors did was criticize me because I couldn't hold a conversation - I couldn't talk after I started dissociating at 13 because I was so detached from myself and couldn't hold a conversation until a few yrs ago) and paxil stopped working after 5 years. Then I tried holding a couple very, very simple jobs and couldn't do it so I filed bankruptcy, moved back to PA and went back on disability and Dr I saw said I was bipolar (I have agitated depression) and put me on every mood stabilizer for 3 yrs with no response at all!
I've had 4 girlfriends in my life which never lasted very long because I couldn't hold a conversation and I traveled to Europe in 2001 twice to meet a Russian girl I met online and it was a disaster!!!

you know you best, you know what types of therapy there are and you know what kinds of treatment providers you work best with in the past
think about what ............type.............of therapy you want to do

That's my problem! I DON'T know me best! I still have plenty of moments where I don't feel like I can identify with myself especially around people. I haven't enjoyed people since I dissociated at 13. I didn't feel ANYTHING around my friends or family at 13. I didn't find my friends enjoyable or funny anymore and ended up losing all my friends in high school and college. Before 13 I had a fantastic life: lots of friends, I was happy, I joked around a lot. My parents never got me help in my teens/20's!

I've had anhedonia really bad last 15 yrs and don't enjoy or can do anything anymore! I've loved music my whole life - I played electric/classical guitar since 14 and I'm starting to lose interest in music now.
I haven't been able to build ANY confidence the last 45 years for some reason (I guess because I have a hard time feeling myself) and it makes me SO frustrated!

I've seen tons of therapists since 1993 and they have all been incompetent. I had one therapist who I saw for 2.5 yrs who was the only therapist who listened to me but she only gave me general information like every other therapist and she had me walking, riding a bike and swimming and I couldn't stand any of it and none of it helped my mood or energy. She never told me how to manage my acute anxiety - all she said was "You have to manage it!" and I had NO clue what she was talking about!

I've been trying CBT since 1992 and it doesn't help at all because my mood feels so horrible!
I see a new, young therapist on Tuesday and I don't know if it's going to work or not...I'm a complete mess!