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  #1  
Old Sep 16, 2008, 09:11 PM
freewill
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Triggering...





I am full of grief... sorrow.. pain tonight...

I posted here because my 13 year old alter brought this upon all of us ....

so this posting is about being DID.. and about alters...

I don't know what to say to people that doubt.. DID... I really don't... because I am DID... I have almost always been DID.... and I knew I was from the time I was in 4th grade - though hadn't a clue.. it was called DID...


How.. do I forgive my 13 year alter.... how.. do I not hate her.. for what she did to all of us last night... she risked.. our lives.. she put us in a very dangerous situation.. and she got us hurt... hurt.. very badly....


I say.. too much on the board that I am on the severe end of DID... because I have been DXed as that.. several times.. severe...I hate that word..

I have never really asked.. here or anywhere..nor looked up on internet.... how much time do you lose..how much time.. other DIDer's lose..because I didn't want to know.. scared to know...

I lose...a great deal of time.... huge time slots... several days in a row..have lost months.. in the "old" days before therapy....I don't "think" about it.. because I do not like to be "freaked"....

I am "calm" now.. because I took Darvcet... the only way to stop the crying... and dull some of the pain..

What... do I... say to this 13 year old... and the 28 year old alter that agreed to it???? I have bits.. and pieces.. of this...
so have "pieced together what happened" from the other alters PM's to people...

How do I not hate my 13 year old???

She.. and the 28 year old.. found all the answers to the questions that they were seeking... and yes.. it will change my life forever..

And I hate the both of them.. for finding the answers to the questions.. because the answers hurt... and the process of finding them.. has put me.. in danger...and there will be.. continuing.. consequenses.... of danger for awhile....

I know I make no sense..

Yet I want help...for all of you....

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  #2  
Old Sep 16, 2008, 09:40 PM
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MINIME MINIME is offline
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Member Since: May 2008
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Im sorry. I wish I could be there with you.
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  #3  
Old Sep 17, 2008, 08:25 AM
Anonymous29412
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(((((((((((((((((( freewill )))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry. That sounds scary.

I don't have answers, but I am listening and sending
  #4  
Old Sep 17, 2008, 10:56 AM
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multipixie9 multipixie9 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Location: east of the sun, west of the moon
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((((((((((((((((FREEWILL)))))))))))))))))

YOU SOUND TERRIFIED AND SO ANGRY. I AM VERY CONCERNED FOR YOU. DO YOU KNOW OF ANYONE WHO CAN HELP YOU RIGHT NOW?? I KNOW OF NOTHING I CAN REALLY DO FOR YOU, BUT I DO CARE.

MY ALTS HAVE ALMOST NEVER PUT US INTO ACTUAL DANGER. I HAVE BEEN VERY ANGRY WITH THEM SOMETIMES BECAUSE THEY REMIND ME I HAVE D.I.D.

MY T HAS HAD TO WORK WITH ME TO STOP THE ANGER BECAUSE IT MAKES THINGS WORSE FOR US ALL. WHEN ALTS FIGHT OR WORK AGAINST EACH OTHER THEN THE WHOLE SYSTEM SUFFERS FOR IT.

I AM AROUND AND I DO CARE. I WILL LOOK FOR YOUR POST AND KEEP YOU IN MY THOUGHTS. HUGS

LESLIE/PIXIES
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HEALING HAPPENS
  #5  
Old Sep 19, 2008, 06:24 AM
wanttoheal wanttoheal is offline
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(((((((((((((freewill))))))))))))
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alter.. put us in a dangerous situation..
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