[WePow]

Do you guys have any odd issues with a spouse who prefers one alter over YOU? I went out tonight to dinner with my partner of 13 yrs and I was highly triggered because of an incedent in chat a few hours before... have been dealing with some sx addiction issues and thought I had found a safe group. But once again I failed to be able to participate in the rules of society I fail to understand, got scolded for being TOO supportive in a share someone was doing, and I left the group and deleted the information from my ipad so I will never go back there again.

So my protective alter Elaine came out and went to dinner. I already have been having a heck of a time with addiction withdraws anyway and my teen alter is not happy about life and I am exhausted. Well at dinner my mate tells that alter that she really likes how wonderful it is to see her and how she was thinking of leaving us. She said she wouldn't do it but had seriously thought of it.

I am kinda in shock right now but I am writing to just see if that happened to others I guess. It was bad enough that I was again thinking of how to end this suffering and I thought I was done with that stage but then to have this all happen.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by WePow

Do you guys have any odd issues with a spouse who prefers one alter over YOU? I went out tonight to dinner with my partner of 13 yrs and I was highly triggered because of an incedent in chat a few hours before... have been dealing with some sx addiction issues and thought I had found a safe group. But once again I failed to be able to participate in the rules of society I fail to understand, got scolded for being TOO supportive in a share someone was doing, and I left the group and deleted the information from my ipad so I will never go back there again.

So my protective alter Elaine came out and went to dinner. I already have been having a heck of a time with addiction withdraws anyway and my teen alter is not happy about life and I am exhausted. Well at dinner my mate tells that alter that she really likes how wonderful it is to see her and how she was thinking of leaving us. She said she wouldn't do it but had seriously thought of it.

I am kinda in shock right now but I am writing to just see if that happened to others I guess. It was bad enough that I was again thinking of how to end this suffering and I thought I was done with that stage but then to have this all happen.

around here at my home and where ever my partner and I were together whether I was dissociated or not there were some things my partner preferred /liked about my alters that wasnt at that time something I would do, say....

I never took offense because I know its just human nature to like something and someone over others about somethings. I look around and even withmy friends I see things in this friend I dont like and that friend that does things better than another friend. So I figure why should it be any different between the alters and me.

they may have been in my body but they were their own identities. they did things differently than I did, they wore different clothing than I did, they did different jobs than I did. just like I find things in my friends I like in one friend over the other, my partner is going to do the same like all her friends and partner (partners considering there was more than just me within this body LOL) differently from each other.

my partner liked how this one did the laundry and that one cooked the favorite meal and that one for this intimate moment thing and that one for that intimate moment thing, and also loved me for my positives that my partner liked about me.

Because I had DID I had to take into consideration from my partners point of view they didnt have "1" partner they had "2 and above number of partners" and my partner loved each of us the host and alters each for what we all contributed to the relationship.

besides to me it didnt make sense of me to be jealous of my alters. they are within me and are parts of me so my being jealous of them would mean I was being jealous of me in a way. LOL

I accepted long time ago they were different than me and had their own ways of being, I was different than them and had my own ways to do things. I couldnt control what they did during spending time with my partner any more than I could do anything about how they dressed, how they chose to have their own bank accounts and their own friends and everything else that came with having DID type alters.

My partner loves it now that Im integrated because there is no waiting for this for when I switch into this alter and no waiting for that alter to pop out so we can do that. Now that Im integrated I have the ability to interact with my partner on the same wavelength that I did when I was each separate alter.

[Omers]

I have friends that prefer some parts over others... Even T prefers one part over the others... but T says she doesn't work with parts... too bad it is a part she is talking to!!!! Even my pets and kid prefer specific parts over others.
OT but... there are some parts that my horse will not let ride her or even come near her!
Honestly I think massage T is the first person in our life to love us all the same and not care about who comes to see her. Although she is always very encouraging of the shy/really hurt parts to come out.
I am OK with it as long as all the parts stick to our internal agreement about acceptable behaviors.
I have a 'friend' right now who is very upset because my "slutty part" as he calls her is no longer allowed out around him because she cannot honor the guidelines we have agreed to internally (consensus not unanimous... LOL us unanimous on anything!)... and he uses her to get past boundaries I have set with him.

[WePow]

Thank you both VERY much. All of this does help me understand how the world sees me. DID can be so confusing even to us who have it!