[LadyHermit]

to all who live in this world of DID. My heart goes out to you.
I live with, what I call, cooperating other selfs. Umm, Pegasus said we are very creative and yes that's true. I have been very creative and wish with all my heart I could be again. It seems I associate being creative with being scattered or split and it scares me. I don't know how else to put this into words. I find new things I'd like to try, buy what I need for it and just can't get myself to start. Sometimes I start and then just stop and put it away.

[wanttoheal]

((((((((((((((LadyHermit))))))))))))) Welcome to PC.

Oh gosh yes, I've done that so many times. Sometimes they just show up; sometimes I buy them. My brain also has a problem of being able to use or do things I really like. For instance, I might buy a lovely notepad and set of pens, but it's like I have to hold on to it, can't use it. Or I might get materials for a new craft I want to try and there it sits.

Often it seems more gets done when I'm checked out than when I'm present.

Glad you're here and hope to hear from you again.

[bipolar_bear]

Welcome to PC. Maybe you can encourage the part of you that enjoys creating things? Sometimes I get stuck until someone decides to come out and express themselves.

BB

[multipixie9]

hi and welcome, lady hermit

wow, you said it just like it is for me too and it drives me bonkers. i have tons of pens, papers and creative things i can't pick up even though i want to so very very much. same with the written word, i can't let myself write things i want to write. grrrr!!!

there are good people here who will encourage you, so keep coming back and share your story and life with all of us here.
see you around!

leslie and her pixies

[pegasus]

Welcome LadyHermit, You are amongst friends!

[___Shadow___]

O>K> wow I want to know all about this, OMG
This is me too, i have EVERYTHING, all the pens, paper, paints, want in the world but nothing happens.
Could we brainstorm here some as to the why and how to over come this?
I'm a better person when i paint yet nothing
I think better and still no art
i even look better but again NOTHING

[sorrel]

I hear you.

Remember that creativity can be very... connecting, healing, gathering.
You might find mandalas a good place to start - you can print them up from online to colour in.

[LadyHermit]

Wow, it feels some better just to know I'm not the only one. Thank you all for sharing.
Darn, this is going to be harder than I thought. When I was super creative was back when I was just learning about my other selves and they presented themselves around the the time I learned I was going to lose my youngest brother to Aids. So, I think for me being really creative comes from being scared I'm not all together again. Does that make sense?

[wanttoheal]

Yes, it makes sense to me. When things were going on here that triggered me, a lot of things were done and drawn, etc. When things are calmer, it doesn't happen as much. For me, I think it does revolve around triggers and being scared. I do think it can develop into something done more often.

[notz]

Oh, MY GOD! This is just sooooo me! I'm creative with all types of mediums and have taken classes in bunches of things from drawing to metal sculpting. Let me tell you how powerful and liberating it is use a big ole' torch and put the pieces together where you say they go! And it doesn't matter if no one gets it! It's art, most people pretend they get some really deep, spiritual or agnostic meaning from it. Half the time, I'm just glad I found a new use for a discarded piece of pipe or saved the dead relative's hand written sheet music from the dumpster.

I collect all kinds of things to use in art work. I grab treasures on trash day because people throw away the best stuff! My problem is I don't do very much art work because I let the so-called obligatory things take precedent. I just don't take time for the art. I'll tell myself I can't because I need to pay bills, wash clothes, rake, cook, you name it - anything but what brings me such great pleasure.

I wouldn't buy a premade canvas because it cost too much. I was given muslin and learned to make, stretch and prime my own canvas but they remain white and untouched. I've put in place everything for just about anything and it's like I can go no further. It's just one more thing for me to beat me up about. Such an underachiever! Such a scared-deee cat, lose, lose, loser.

[LadyHermit]

Your so right, "wantoheal" about "Triggering". I really hadn't thougth just how much until I read your reply. This is a good thing. Maybe, having it finally really sink in what the problem is my "selves" can some how work through it.
Hey, "notz" , I have a whole room full of stuff I tell myself I'll get to some day to create something with. Yea, I know the felling about telling myself I need to do something else first before self-indulging with anything artist.
Thank you

[everchanging]

Wow, that is exactly what happens to me! This is the first time I have ever found anyone who knows what this is like. I hoard pens, tablets, colored markers etc--but sometimes years go by until I use them, if ever. Other times I write like crazy and fill volumes. It probably does have to do with how triggered I am--though I haven't found a correlation with that yet..I'm still new at understanding this dx....

Eve