[Jewels]

It has been AGES since we were really allowed to be out since we started in therapy this last time. Now that we are off meds, perhaps things will swing back to our "normal" and we will be able to take care of all of us again. We have been diagnosed with everything from bipolar (no offense to those who have it, but we certainly don't) to schizo-affective, to ADD and beyond. Even when dissociating, the psych docs can't agree on anything except that they can't agree on anything. Our therapist got up and left, on VERY short notice, which sent all of us into a tailspin. Since then we haven't connected with anyone, for fear it will happen again. We see a "case manager" for a half-hour a week, when we feel well enough to go see her, or we schedule for her to come out to the house. But it isn't the same, and she really doesn't understand what we are all about. Not that she doesn't WANT to, but she doesn't have experience in a lot of stuff, and we feel very uneasy about talking about it with her. When we see the doc, she is amazed that we aren't taking anything, and thinks maybe we should go back on something...but we think-why? All it did was mess us up, make some of us mad, or depressed, or dissociate even more, so why? We can't see a good reason TO take any meds, since they don't work for all of us at any one time, and the ones it does work on stresses the rest of us out. As protectors, we are tired of picking up the pieces and trying to keep an even keel. We are now trying to convince some of the more "present" ones to go see the doc and tell her what is going on. And trying to get them to go see the med doc because that is what we need to do. But we are all sort of deeply wary of drs now, and want to avoid any of them, whomever they may be. Anyway, thought we would let you know where we are at, and a little of our history. Sad as it may be. See you all later. Crys

[multipixie9]

Crys and all the Jewels,

I can see things are difficult and I do identify - what works for some parts bugs others and it is seldom that all agree to anything!

All I can say to you is that I am getting better and that tells me people can get better and that is hopeful for all of us.

Do not give up, keep searching for help and answers. Help is out here. Healing is possible. Believe it or not cooperation is even possible!!! I would have doubted anything good 10 years ago and maybe even 6 years ago. The thing is I am worth whatever it takes to get me well. I can get well and I will. Hugs and keep coming here for support.

Leslie and her Pixies

[pegasus]

Well, I'm glad you joined us TheJewelsofEagles, welcome!

There aren't any meds for DID but it's quite usual and normal to have other diagnosis going on aswell. Considering what any DID person has been through that's not surprising at all. Meds are useful but good therapy is the answer, in my opinion.

Take care.

[Jewels]

Thank you both for your kind words. We ARE going to see a new therapist, a man , but we protectors think he will be able to help us deal with things better. We have read and re-read his profile numerous times, and we think there is something there that is worth trying to get help from him. We have asked our case manager to be with us the first time we meet him, since we know her and trust her judgment somewhat. It is difficult for us to even contemplate cooperation right now. Our therapist wanted us to do the "I" word, and it really freaked everyone out! We can't even begin to say how much that scares the bejeebers out of us.

What we do know is we are so close to a total breakdown that it scares even us as protectors. We aren't sure what to do, or if we should be doing something other than what we are currently doing which is not much. Do we go inpatient? Do we retreat into the house and not go out? Do we quit going to ch-rch and home group? Do we...sigh. Being a protector isn't such a great job. A necessary one, to be sure. But so stressful. I'd give anything to get a little bit of sleep. Last night we only got 2 hours of sleep. And now the other protectors are off trying to keep inner peace and stability going, so I am here, trying to keep the outer peace thing going. It isn't working so well. I will take you at your word when you say it will get better than this. I don't see it, but hope it can be true for us.
Crys