[FireBird]

After over a year of not switching, I am switching like crazy! Some days I miss 90% of the day. Luckily as of now (at least according to my parents) only one of the others are coming out. At my DID peak (several years ago), I had 10 personalities. I also have schizoaffective disorder and autism. Basically I am a walking DSM IV. The problem is this, this personality is 5 years old. I am 26 years young. She acts exactly like a 5 year old would, and has the intelligence level of that age as well. Its so embarrassing being in public (even though I'm not aware, but afterwards I know because of the gap in time) and switching into a 5 year old. What is odd about this personality according to my parents is that I'm happy (the total opposite of my "host" personality which is extremely depressed right now) and have no autistic symptoms. Now that is weird! I know that can happen in DID, that some of your medical problems can go away. I never thought my DID would come back, I thought it was a thing of the past and I just had to deal with the delusions and hallucinations of the schizoaffective disorder (which are a lot worse than DID, trust me!) I even have a 2 year old personality that can barely talk but she hasn't come out in a long time but I am afraid that she will come back. I had trauma when I was younger, I mean a lot of trauma but not from my family oh thank God for that! How do you deal with DID?

[Miri]

Hello Firebird. I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't have personal experience with integration, if that's why you stopped switching, but i know from a lot of reading that it is not at all uncommon for things to untangle and alters to re-appear. Maybe that is not what this is about. Maybe this five year old was quiet for a time for a reason i cannot imagine and is back for a reason, too, also unknown. Can you communicate with her through writing? Littles can be helped to respond from an older alter. There's nothing unusual about that. Could you ask her what she needs, talk about when it is safe to come out if she must?
Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing, okay?

[turquoisesea]

hey there, I just wanted to send some hugs, and lend my ear.

[NewOrlnsLdy]

Firebird, I understand. I signed up because of the same reason. I am confused too. In my case, I am now married with 2 kids- one of which has autism. He is high functioning but still a handful. I have 2 friends and my husband who know. I have had to find a new therapist since my old one moved. But at least my psychiatrist is still the same. My problem is that I am scared because I have so much to lose. That and a very hectic schedule. My friends say that I have a lot of stress, but I don't see it. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Hope this helps