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#1
Nov 09, 2009, 12:35 PM
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My H and I have been separated for many, many years. I have gone for divorce 2X's in the first 15 years or so. The first time I ripped up the papers and threw them in the garbage and the 2nd time I went forward, almost to the end but never finished off the process.
In the meantime we raised the children as amicably as possible and they are now grown. Recently, after telling him about my dx and taking a year of sort of going out for dinner on the weekend and talking, not-in-depth but just in a light friendship way there was a sad experience between us. I am struggling to build myself up again. My Psychologist says that we are very different I am very intuative and he is more of a sensor. How I see it is oil on water. Two factors really weigh heavily upon me, one is that he was brain injured many years ago (and me with my dx's) and two is that we have wonderful children and grandchildren to be concerned for. For the last year or so we have spent lots of time together and so now because of this recent break I am having more time alone. It is a place of limbo. When we are together we are not really husband and wife, more friends. It feels stuck to me. I should not have gotten so upset with him at this wedding we went to recently after he verbally abused me but I just had so many things happening in my life at the time. This thing seems to go on and on and on and on and I am frustrated. I am glad we have been there for our children and grandchildren though and so that is some comfort but I am having to find other things to do on my days off and it is like another 'loss' again  . Sometimes it makes me think that this life is too long. I get a bit down and try to think of purpose, like helping my children out, doing my art work and finding interests elsewhere. To some extent it is working. I signed up to go on overnight holiday soon so hopefully that will help a bit. I have limited funds so can only do so much that way but will let you know how it goes. I have been wondering where to post this, in what Forum, Grief and Loss or Depression but found this Forum so thought I'd post here.
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 “Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.” Albert Einstein |
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#2
Nov 18, 2009, 10:17 PM
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so, here is my retreat experience. It was great!
http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=121128
__________________
“Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.” Albert Einstein |
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