[macy100]

I was engaged to girl for few months, but I found out that she has been sleeping with her sister's husband for years. They have their own house, you name it. I ended my engagment and left her. Wasn't hurt, but just disturbed with what I found. We were not in love, I know that might not make sense to some, but it helped me make a very safe exit from this relationship. I don't even recall our time together. She became history the moment I found out. How ever , I am still tempted to tell her parents the real reason why we broke. Should I?

[babydoll233]

that is so disturbing.... as for telling her parents, i would just forget her and everything to do about her, someone will find out sooner or later, karma... so strange... so glad you found out and walked away.. leave it in the past...

[Leed]

Good grief NO don't tell. What business is it of YOURS to be the tattletale?? You are no longer in the picture - stay out of it.

That's a pretty childish thing to do anyway. We stopped tattleing when we hit adulthood. Think about it.

God bless. Hugs, Lee

I wouldnt waste my breath it all sounds sordid to me, plus they are all adults so I would stay out of it.

[sunrise]

No, just walk away.

Ditto...There's enough to concern yourself with in the happenings of ones own steps yes...?~W~

[Rhiannonsmoon]

You should do what your conscience is urging you to do. Bear in mind however the most important thing is that innocents in this could be terribly hurt; and that should matter too.

It is probably better to leave things as they are because the parents don't deserve hurt either. Whatever is happening, is happening between star-crossed lovers and I believe that it is up to them to break the news themselves.

I don't think you are being childish in any way at all, and I understand your dilemma and how it must be chipping away at you because you are thinking about what you feel is right and wrong. But you asked for advice and didn't just go ahead and reveal what you know. That shows a mature and concerned manner & a thoughtful attitude.

Best of luck with your decision, whatever you do,

Rhiannon

[macy100]

Thank you all for your insights. What is they didn't believe me? I do have strong eveidence( she knows that I have them), but what if they just ignored them. Wouldn't I be doing her a favor by taking that threat away?

[salukigirl]

Leed - I do not think it is childish to "tattle" on something so massive. It's not like he is telling on her for staying out too late. This is something that can/will ruin lives. My thinking is that the sister already knows and is in denial. If they have their own house together he is basically leading a double life.

And there isn't an easy way to go about it. If you know and don't tell, then they find out you knew all along, they might be angry with you - but like others have said you're not involved with them anymore anyways. But if you do tell, you could be seen as the reason for destroying a family. Not saying it is your fault, but sometimes in those situations people do not want o blame a family member so they disconnect and put the blame on someone else.

You saying you're doing her a favor is just you trying to justify it. Don't look for ways to justify. Just put yourself in the others' shoes. Would YOU want someone to tell YOU if that were happening?

[macy100]

I am not looking for revenge. If I wanted to, I can send e-mails to many of her friends and relatives with all the evidence that I have. Again, our time together doesn't not cross my mind. It is only the feeling that she got away with it for the SECOND time. I wan't her to be punished in a way. At the same time I don't want to cause pain to her parents, sister, and family. They do not deserve it.

I did call her mother right after we broke up and told her the reason, of course I didn't give her a name. She asked so many times to give her at least the first letter of his name and I refused. I just want to ask, how do you guys think that she felt when I found out about her scheme? She wanted a way out, and I was the one. Now, she did have many men who proposed to her before me.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by macy100

How ever , I am still tempted to tell her parents the real reason why we broke. Should I?

Originally Posted by macy100

I did call her mother right after we broke up and told her the reason, of course I didn't give her a name. She asked so many times to give her at least the first letter of his name and I refused.

First you say you are tempted to call her parents. Then later you say you already told her mother right after you broke up. Huh?? Something's not right here. My heart goes out to the mother, who did nothing to provoke your hurtful behavior.

[macy100]

The question is about telling her parents the REAL reason. Telling the mother that her daughter is with someone else is one thing, revealing that she sleeps with her other daughter's husband is another. It is like the difference between punching somebody or dropping an atomic bomb on him/her.

[ma2671]

Originally Posted by macy100

I was engaged to girl for few months, but I found out that she has been sleeping with her sister's husband for years. They have their own house, you name it. I ended my engagment and left her. Wasn't hurt, but just disturbed with what I found. We were not in love, I know that might not make sense to some, but it helped me make a very safe exit from this relationship. I don't even recall our time together. She became history the moment I found out. How ever , I am still tempted to tell her parents the real reason why we broke. Should I?

You need to tell her sister. Wouldn't you want someone to bring something like that to your attention. Rather than their being outsiders who know and/or laugh . It's a truth and she should know the truth. I would if I were you.

[Wingseeker]

My Psychology teacher said you should never tell as a third party. EVER. If you feel obligated to do something I encourage you to convince your ex or her partner to reveal it to the sister/family.

I agree...I mean ,in the end...it may just cause pain that may never have needed to be felt....and not to just one person.There are ripple effects for everything.Anyone who knows either of them can be touched by the the whole thing.Ugh ...but here comes the libra in me...see both sides.I think I'd be smashed if I had friends who knew and kept it from me?Hmmm...I hate being on the fence about every frakin issue lol....I see both sides of everything lol.I should start my own thread on this reply I just made.Because not being on one side or the other is a HUGE issue always for me.Ok I am ranting as usual.hahaha