[kwalken]

My wife and I havee recently seperated, well we are calling it a seperation but we are just in different rooms. The reason for the seperation is due to my lying about a situation recently. We have been married for almost 13 years and most of that time it has been very happy, but due to my lying the times that have been bad have been really bad. This most recent time I got caught in a lie and I could not get out of it.

I was on a business trip and met a woman who seemed to find me attractive. I generally do not feel I am very attractive so to have this woman give me her number was flatering to me. I took her number and set up a dinner meeting with her. To make a long story short, the dinner fell through and several calls were made to clear things up and nothing came of it, except the lies that followed.

I had taken money out of my bank account for this situation and when I returned home from the business trip my wife confronted me about the money. instead of telling the truth I told her I had used it for something else which she did not fall for. After several days as well as her finding the calls I made to the woman on my business trip, the truth finally came out. I know what I did was wrong and I felt bad about it from the beginning, but I almost felt like I was being directed to do it.

Now my wife has been to her counselor and they have instructed her to live her life for her, and I feel so alone and afraid. I want to get better myself and I am meeting with a counselor tomorrow, but I am affraid the damage is already done. I have been reading books on correcting a broken trust and marriage but I feel so affraid right now. I cannot get it off of my mind what I have done to her. I found this site and an hoping that I can get some help and advice as I feel I have no one to turn to in my life. I love my wife very much and want to make our marriage work and correct my issues. I feel very empty inside right now.

[Leed]

It's too bad you didn't think about this first before you screwed up.

Now you have to find ways to earn her trust back. That is, if she's willing to stay and work things out. Once that trust has been broken like that, especially with another woman, it's really hard to get it back. You've got a lot of work ahead of you. Talk to the counselor about ways to earn that trust back. I really think you ARE sorry -- now you've got to convince your wife.

Best of luck -- I hope things work out for you. God bless. Hugs, Lee