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#1
Mar 30, 2012, 03:17 AM
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As this happened to me.
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 Anonymous12111009
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#2
Mar 30, 2012, 09:26 AM
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Quote:
Now I'm facing yet another divorce too but he** no one is there to take my side anyway.   Sorry you're dealing with this. It sucks and hurts terribly to have friends or family do that to you.
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#3
Apr 08, 2012, 03:33 AM
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Your mutual friends are stupid people. The cheater is always the one who sucks.
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#4
Apr 10, 2012, 11:51 AM
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The most important thing is to focus on yourself and doing whatever you have to do to take care of you ... and heal.
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#5
Apr 10, 2012, 01:31 PM
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Nope. I was the cheater. Multiple times. Everyone that knows about it hates me, and they make sure I know it.
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#6
Apr 10, 2012, 01:54 PM
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Cheating is wrong!
If we desire to be with another people can't we respect each other at least enough to express our feelings. Just my opinion. By the way I had cheated on my wife and I will carry the guilt to my grave.
__________________
Dousing the flames of ruin I have razed... smokey. |
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#7
Apr 10, 2012, 02:02 PM
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I'm with Rose, complicated and painful all the way around. Would you care to define "cheat" and/or explain whether the mutual friends agree the other was a cheater? I cannot imagine anyone siding with a cheater would be someone I wanted to call "friend".
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#8
Apr 11, 2012, 01:48 PM
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I believe it's how we manage ourselves after a mis-step is what counts.
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 Open Eyes
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#9
Apr 11, 2012, 03:18 PM
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Just so there's no misunderstanding - my response was not flippant. I was the cheater. I was wrong. I deserve to be hated. If I don't like it, I should have thought about that before I decided how great it would be with another woman.
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#10
Apr 11, 2012, 04:17 PM
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Birds of a feather flock together.
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#11
Apr 11, 2012, 04:42 PM
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Bowhunt, no one deserves to be hated. That you did not consider consequences and messed up your life and hurt others is what "mistake" means; we have to keep making mistakes to learn (bright, sunny days and picnics don't make for learning much :-) You did not wake up one morning and decide, "Gee, think I'll deliberately cheat on my wife today and mess up our lives". That might get you hated but most of us are here on this site because we have interpersonal problems and difficulties, many situations complicated by mental illness where impulse control and early training is not that great.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#12
Apr 11, 2012, 07:37 PM
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Congratulations you are human. In all its glory. like it or not. Capable of compassion, empathy, altruism, aggression and fear.
We are experts at beating ourselves up (when things don't go as planned). And when they don't, there are plenty of people standing line, who can't wait to make us feel worse than we already do. Sorry, but for me, that clubhouse is closed. I am a human being. Nothing more. Nothing less. We are all doing the best we can with the tools we have. Some have more tools than others. Some have the specific tools but not for that particular job. Sometimes we find that we were using the wrong tool all along - and we didn't even know it. And surprise! when we do realize it, it's too late. The damage is done for that particular job. But we learn from it. |
| Confusedinomicon, Open Eyes
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#13
Apr 13, 2012, 05:53 PM
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 I believe actually hate and fear are of the same pathology. |
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#14
Apr 22, 2012, 01:01 PM
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I believe that my ex made up a story about me to make sure all my friends were on his side before he left me for a sexual relationship with a minor when we were 22. He ended up to be more screwed up in the head than I am... but having no friends left from that stage of my life hurts.
Oh, and 10 years after it all happened one of the friends said I was right about the story. 
__________________
"Unipolar is boring! Go Bipolar!"  Amazonmom is not putting up with bad behavior any more. |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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