Well the time has come, we've been separated for over a year and the divorce proceedings can begin.

The good: Wife (referred to as ex preferably) has become quite cooperative in everything. For those that don't know of my situation, I don't post much on this thread, we have two boys together - 11 and 12. They have lived with me the entire year. Over the year she's had them once, tried to keep them for thanksgiving weekend and let them come home to me, apparently they were "bored" and wanted to go home. :/ yeah it's a real fight to keep them with me (/sarcasm). So in a nutshell, she has made very little effort to see them much. I've agreed to shared custody and her having them for the summers, weekends and many holidays. I don't know if she'll even try to have them that much. We talked about that and she just matter-of-factly said "yeah that's fine" to everything I've said. Nothing is documented yet, that's next. So the school year I'll likely have them the whole time considering she lives an hour away now that she's moved again - she's even considering moving out of state til she "gets on her feet" again. Anyway, I'm confident at the very least she won't try to take them.

The Bad: i think it's unfair, although I'm not against child support altogether. I figured it out and since she (in my opinion) chooses not to work, she has no real income to calculate. Because of this, the calculations come to almost $800 a month for child support, this, when I'll have them more than her! How is this fair? Idk. I'll go with it of course if that's the decision of the courts but I still feel it's ridiculous. If anything it should be that amount for the 3 months she'd have them but I have looked and I don't find anything to show that you can deviate from it for the other months and just pay when she has them. I don't get that but hey.. I feel like, she should be working and could easily. She's not disabled and even has a degree. I, am not the one with a college degree, but yet I work in a field where I make a good salary and how much more that one with a degree should be able to do at least that? :/ nonetheless, it is what it is and I have to deal with it.

So now I have to get the paperwork out of the way but so far it seems she's going along with it all and isn't fighting me on every front, like I hear so many people go through. She keeps saying that she's glad I'm there for the boys since she hasn't been able to be and that "it will change"... after 12 months not really trying very hard to see them, I don't know how much I expect out of her in this area. If I was mean I'd get a lawyer and fight for full custody but I'm not one to say taht she shouldn't have any say over her kids. idk... I'm kinda still tense about the outcome and won't be totally satisfied til it's on paper and finalized.

Anyway just sharing.

[Confusedinomicon]

Do you get any child support from her if you have the children for most of the year??

You may be able to talk to the lawyer to modify the child support so you don't have to pay year round. It's worth a try.

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

Do you get any child support from her if you have the children for most of the year??

You may be able to talk to the lawyer to modify the child support so you don't have to pay year round. It's worth a try.

The thing is, that she doesn't work right now and doesn't make anything. In a way, she should owe me soemthing but I'm always going to be the one making more money so it will never work out that way.

As for part of the year thing, the way that the state calculates it, it takes into account the extended periods with each parent, calculates the differences and spreads it out over the year anyway.

An update on this is that I spoke to her and we're working out child support that is an amount I offered her, less than the state's calculation and she just agreed.

[spondiferous]

That's good. Cuz it really doesn't really doesn't seem fair to me that you should have to pay full support to her when you have the kids, plus still pay the kids' expenses on top of that. Seems counterproductive.

Good luck during the proceedings. Hope things continue to go smoothly...

yeah she added that she'd like to adjust the support when things change for her, but I don't see that happening, what, with her moving farther away and still continuing not to find a job...etc. Plus even if she wants to calculate it I'm going to have them calculate based on what she could be earning so I think it will work out.