Does it get easier?

I've ended a 5-year relationship. It was insanely strong (we spoke for 8 hours a day every day) whilst it lasted, but there were bad things too. I looked up to Rose far too much, placing her on a pedestal above me whilst I had my own self esteem problems. She was willing to give this another try and let us at least be very close buddies again, but due to a misunderstanding (caused by the fact that after the last time we spoke after a 2 month gap I found how I was feeling 3 hours after she ended the conversation and posted it on her blog--thus interpreted as backstabbing) she now considers me an asshole and is quite clear about never speaking to me again. Her other friends have expressed the desire to crap down my neck until I drown.

Anyway, that's beside the point

The fact is that I was so entwined with her for the past 5 years that I can't even think about the summer in which I met her without feeling sad. Even youtube playlists I made in 2007/2008 make me feel sad. The old pictures she's sent me of her artwork make me want to cry. I remember the happy times and it literally sends shivers through my spine. Even things she just liked I have trouble liking now, as I'm literally reminded of her all the time.

Does it get easier?

Yes, I think if you get busy with other things and get out with other people, eventually you won't dwell on it so much. But it will likely take awhile, given the intensity of your relationship.

In time, it may. Just hurts in the here and now.

As others have said, yes, it will get easier, but you have to live through what you are living through right now. That, about the strength of emotions, it surely will subside.

On the practical side, keep away from Rose's friends!

Yes it does get easier. You have to grieve the "death" of the relationship. Grieving takes time. And you must be patient with yourself.

But there are things you shouldn't do - in your case anyway. You shouldn't sit and stare at pictures she sent you. You shouldn't go to places that you two went together, etc. You don't want to prolong the grief.

Try to stay busy, and get outside as much as you can too.

I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

WindGuru, I understand your plight. I recently ended a 7 year relationship and 5 year marriage that was much like the relationship you talk of. We spent all day together most days and made many many memories. I now find myself avoiding so many things because they remind me of him.

The only things that help are , like others have said, going outside and being around other people. That last one is not easy because it's hard to see others happy when we are so clearly not. I have also tried to find new things, things with no attachment or memories of him, like tv shows and movies and hobbies. I find a little joy in things that don't remind me and it gives me hope that I won't always feel this way.

I feel for you. It's not easy going through this. I can't say for sure that there is light at the end of this but I hope for both of our sakes there is. We just have to take it one day at a time.

Believe it or not, it does get easier.
My marriage of 16 years ended badly last August when I left after many things went horribly wrong. I am happy to say that we were able to put the needs of our daughter first, and are doing quite well as co-parents.
The wounds are healing but songs, possessions, pictures, and places all sting when encountered.
Plus we have a daughter who REALLY wants her parents back together. It's tough!
But we are both managing to move on. It's a bizarre set of circumstances and we are handling it our own way...and I think we are doing ok but there are times when we both are angry, sad, happy...we have lots of memories, pictures, videos, songs, people, places, events...all things to work thru.
Time...it's just gonna take time.