He left today and I feel relieved

After seven years of a terrible relationship he finally left today. Long story, too much trauma and drama. We were supposed to move north to another state tomorrow but after a day of work and pain - loading the truck - he told me he would burn down the house with me in it if he heard me mention my son again.

I had an appointment to meet my son at 9:30 to give him my van just before leaving. He hated my son... has done so for all these years. He wouldn't even allow me to have my children in my own home. Took advantage of me financially, and tried to micro-manage me and control my every move. I realized long ago that there was no way to make him leave until he did so voluntarily.

Today he wanted me to sign the pink slip for the little car I had promised to give him if he helped me clean the property. He couldn't even wait until the property was cleaned off. I finally signed it to shut him up. He didn't shut up. He never thanked me for that car... just took it as if it was due to him!

Today as he raged at me I phoned a friend for help. My friend, a man in his seventies, came over and got between us and made him make a choice, to go with me or to leave me. He chose to leave, and my friend helped him for hours to get his things out of my moving truck and house. He left me with a huge mess to clean myself.

Tomorrow my son and another friend will help me finish the moving job. I should try to get some sleep now...

Wow, from the sounds of it, you are MUCH better off without this royal pain in the backside!! Good grief, how did you live with him as long as you did?

I hope whoever gets him next knows what they're up against!

Be careful who you choose next time Janae, that they aren't of the same cloth as this one! Sometimes we tend to choose the same kinds of guys as the one before. So make sure you choose carefully! No way do you want another one of those! LOL

Please have a SAFE TRIP in your move, Janae, and let us know when you're settled, okay? God bless and please take care! Hugs, Lee

Hi Janae,

Deep breath, its time for a new life without the arsonist!
I love my child as do you and nothing will come between us and our children.

You invested allot over the last 7 years and I can feel from your post you are exhausted and well and truly done.

You and your children are in my thoughts.
Warm hugs and best wishes

Light4me

The book that saved my life after 31 years of abuse: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans. Hugs

Thanks so much for your kind feedback! I actually have that book (the one by Patricia Evans) and sometime back identified him as a verbal abuser - big time! When I explained that to him he did tone it down a bit, but couldn't make a complete change.

Nevertheless, I find it hard to respect a man who let me pay all the rent and utilities for nearly seven years, and refused to pay half even during the times he had money. Once he got his social security check in February this year, he started to pay, but by then it was too late. And he treated me so disrespectfully.. the only reason he got to stay as long as he did was that he was desperate and I had no way to throw him out until he got his own money.

He didn't even like me anymore, but wanted to stay to "help" me. OMG... spare me the pain! I told him, in the end, I don't NEED your help. I really prefer to be around people that like me; don't you?

So now he's living in the local trailer park in his van. Good riddance! ... gosh, I hate to say that, but I'm so grateful that I've made my move and now am 700 miles north of him and will probably never see him again. I don't miss him. It is truly pathetic... I never missed any "ex" less than I do this one. His mouth (the words coming from it) were a continual torment for many years... I just couldn't take any more.

Now I can re-find myself, and be a more authentic me.

I'm SO glad you're that far away from him! Hopefully he'll NEVER be able to find you.

Now you can breathe a deep sigh of relief and sleep soundly! Gosh, what relief you must feel!

It reminds me of when I got divorced. I slept so soundly when it was final, that I couldn't believe it.

God bless you Janae, and keep us posted! Hugs, Lee

Been there done that....only was married for 33 years before I finally had enough & was able to leave....moved 2100 miles away....but unfortunately left most of my things behind when I left 6 years ago. Finally working on getting the divorce finalized. He has destroyed me financially way too much & it's time to be completely free of him.

I can relate to what you say about not missing him either. When I first left, they always said....absence makes the heart grow stronger...but it didn't it just gave me such a peace to be away from him......I knew it was over. I stood in the kitchen of my farm that first week & thought....wow, a refrig full of things that JUST I LIKE.....I don't have to worry if he likes what I buy any more......& I felt so free to figure out the me that I had lost over those 33 years & get my values back that I had compromised away for so many years.

I can relate to what a good feeling it is

Congratulations and I wish YOU all the best in your journey homeward to your true self.

Thanks everyone for help.. feedback... encouragement!