[chaoticmama0512]

Let me tell you a little bit about myself and my situation. I am 20 and have been married to my husband (who is 25) for just over a year. We also have a son who is 8 months old. When we found out we were pregnant we were confused as to what we should do, but after a lot of thinking we decided to have our son and be married. Everything was going amazing. He is one of the most sincere, optimistic, kindhearted and loyal people I have ever met. A few months after I had our son, and about half a year into our marriage my friend started coming around complaining about her boyfriend and that he was going on dating websites and putting ads on craigslist (pathetic I know) and my husband would say how horrible that was and that he would never do something like that. WELL, a few weeks later my friend and I had picked up his phone and looked through it and I came to find he had made online profiles on accounts like meetme.com and untrue.com and socialsex.com and he blamed it on hearing my friend talk about her man doing that.
To say I was devestated would be putting things lightly. My image of him was tarnished and I felt that I didn't even know the person I married. However we have a son together and things had been off with his new job since he had graveyard. Since there was so physical encounters that I knew of we decided to move past it and make things work. We had a really rough couple of months, but eventually things started to turn around. A month before Coachella, my neighbors received free tickets for the concert and they gave them to us. My husband didn't even want to try and ask off for work or ask someone to cover his shift so I invited a friend and planned to go regardless of him coming, (in the reverse situation I would have pushed him to go even if I had to miss out). When the weekend of Coachella came along things had started to get off again and when I got back we had a huge blowout fight, he was really upset that I went to Coachella without him. But it seemed we needed that because things started to get better and fast! I was really happy finally. Until about a month and a half ago when I found out that he had emotionally cheated on me once again. Apparently he had been having a texting relationship with one of his co-workers. They talked all the time and he would ask her **** like what kind of positions she liked and told her he was leaving his GIRLFRIEND soon, he didnt even call me his wife. And again, I was heartbroken. All this time I had stayed faithful and hoped things would work out but he was still talking to other girls. Thats twice in less than 6 months now.
Unfortunatly for him, a week after I found out about his situation, an old male friend came into contact with me. We started talking and he was nice, charming, paid attention to me, and told me I deserved better. Plus we have a lot in common and he likes my son. We started spending time together while my husband was at work. Going to the park or the pool or just going on walks. This went on for weeks and he was always very respectable in person, never made a move on me at all. But he would let me know through text messages that he wanted to, and honestly at that point I was feeling the same. So eventually the physical part of our relationship picked up and I loved it, I felt no shame. I left all times of the day or night to see him and my husband started to get suspicious. A few days ago he found out what happened between me and the other man and at first I really didnt care, I was almost happy I didnt have to lie anymore. But as the day progressed and I thought about the consequences on my son and the fact that my husband doesnt have much family of his own to speak of or anywhere to go I started to feel emotional and sad about what was happening. After months of me having no physical want for him, I finally wanted him to ravage me. And eventually my husband decided he wanted to make things work and we had sex for the first time in a loooong time. Don't get me wrong, physically the sex felt great but emotionally it was just all wrong and after it was over all of my sentimental feelings for my husband that just started coming back all left again. Now I'm more confused than ever. He wants to make things work but he isnt sure if he can trust me and I dont trust him at all. And I dont want to lose my friend either, which I would have to cut ties with him if my husband and I worked things out. A big part of me is worried that Im just staying with him because Im worried for him and for my son and maybe Im afraid of being alone or starting off with someone new. I dont really know where to go from here because I still have love for him as a person and as the father of my son but I dont feel a romantic, passionate, sexual love for him anymore and I dont know if therapy can get those feelings back, or if I even want to get them back.
Sorry for the length and any confusion. It might be nice to hear from people who know neither of us and arent biased.

[dallet66]

I don't want to tell you what to do, since I don't know you. But my husband behaved this way off and on our whole 19 year marriage. i should not have stayed with him. I never had a relationship with another man though. To me it was even uncomfortable talking to someone else while married. However, if this started so soon into your marriage, when you should have still been in the "honeymoon period", it doesn't seem like either one of you are wanting a life time commitment. Marriage is hard, really hard! Trust is crucial. Once its broken, getting it back is even harder. I'm not trying to put you down. I truly believe everyone has a right to be happy. Your son is young, it only gets harder when they are older. That's my take on it. For what its worth

[Leed]

You two got married too young and you had a child too young. It's unfortunate for the child that you even had him. You are not old enough or mature enough to be a good mother.

Neither of you are old enough to make a commitment, since you've both cheated already and you've only been married a little over a year! That's ridiculous. How do you expect to have a MARRIAGE that lasts years and years? It's impossible. I'm not sure therapy will work as you two are just too young. You might try it -- see if a therapist will help. It's worth a try.

But I think the therapist might tell you both to just split, and go back to your parental homes and grow up. It might be for the best. God bless & take care of that precious baby. Hugs, Lee