[angyl_amal]

I was talking with a close friend last night online and for the first time, he told me about his current living situation and how it's been dragging him into depression. I've been given permission to provide information for any advice or information that would help if I do not identify who this person is for his privacy. I want to help him, but I don't know very much of what he may need. Maybe someone here can help? Please don't judge him.

This friend moved here a couple years ago from out of the country after a friend of his promised him a place to stay. The two agreed to legal marriage to provide him with the documents needed to let him stay here, but they live more like roommates than husband and wife or even boyfriend/girlfriend; they have no intimate connection. However, in addition to her being almost old enough to be his mother, she is incredibly controlling and has threatened him with kicking him out of the house if he displeases her. She checks his phone every day, searches the house (including his room), asks where he's going, who he's hanging out with, only lets him use the internet at certain times, doesn't let him do a number of things he wants to do, and knows his routine (such as the fact that he sleeps early at night, etc). If she feels he's "cheating" or whatever, she will kick him to the streets, and has threatened to do so. He doesn't know anyone else other than me, but I live about four hours away from him, so if he does get kicked out, he'll have nowhere to go and not enough money to take care of himself. He's been looking for jobs, but the market hasn't been friendly and this "roommate" is the reason he hasn't had any real relationships with anyone else.

I will be moving to another city that's in between our cities sometime in the next year or so for school, and I have offered for him to meet me there when I move so he'll be out of that living situation, with someone that he knows and trusts, and a new start for a better life (attending the same school for a degree, possibility for jobs, etc), and he was quite pleased with the idea. I suggested he start saving money somewhere so he'll have something set aside for a bus or something when he leaves to meet me or if he gets kicked out (god forbid).

He wishes to divorce her, but doesn't understand the process very well. I started checking online for information regarding the process, but I don't know how his particular case would turn out and what he might need to start the process (money, etc). He doesn't really care how long a divorce case would take, but needs to know what he'll need to do to get it done and has getting out of that house at the top of his priority list.

Does anyone have any advice or easy to understand information that I can pass on to him that may help? All he wants is to start his life over again and to be happy. Again, please don't judge him? We both really appreciate any help he can get. Thanks.

[kirby777]

Divorce laws vary state to state. Is he now a citizen of the US?

[angyl_amal]

Kirby, we are located in California, if that helps at all. He has not gained citizenship yet; he told me that he has to wait about a year before he can and it'll cost about $1,000.

[angyl_amal]

On the note of jobs and money, he was previously employed, but ended up laid off, so he's been getting money from unemployment every two weeks. Of course, she takes all of it as part of the rent. He said he can ask to keep $20 or so each check so he can buy stuff to make food from his country. He has a year left before the unemployment money stops coming in.

[angyl_amal]

Is there no one that knows anything that can help?

[kaliope]

you can usually go down to the courthouse or even online and pick up a petition for divorce that you fill in the blanks on and then file it. they usually come in packets that have all the directions included. that is the way it is here anyway. then he would serve her and the divorce would commence. he may even be able to file a waiver to waive the fees for the divorce which here are a few hundred dollars. but how will divorce affect his citizenship?

[NWgirl2013]

It sounds like a bargain with the devil. But he made an agreement to marry someone in order to accomplish a goal; citizenship. He not only has to abide by this agreement for a prescribed amount of time, but also, eventually, convince the government that it is a legitimate marriage & not in fact what it is; a sham to get something he didn't go through the usual channels to accomplish.
The risk of being deported is the carrot she is using to keep him in line. Maintaining a friendly working relationship with his benefactor is what he agreed to do.
All bets are off if he tries to upset this apple cart.
Perhaps an immigration lawyer could be of some help. If that is out of the question then he needs to redouble his efforts to find work and get some training in a trade that will sustain him now and in the future. Being as busy as possible is best; he will then have less time at the house & advancing himself at the same time to be self-sufficient when his time in this arranged marriage is up.
For you, I would suggest you not get any more involved than you already are, for your own protection.

[NWgirl2013]

P.S. Check out~ ehow: California Immigration Marriage Laws. This is a partial quote:
Status
Upon marriage, the foreign national needs to file an Adjustment of Status, form I-485, to become a legal permanent resident and get authorization to work. The applicant may remain in the U.S. to await the change of status, providing their K-1 visa is still valid. Processing times can be 12 to 18 months.

Conditions
To ensure the validity of the marriage and that it was not entered into for solely immigration purposes, marriage-based permanent residency is granted conditional residency for a temporary period of two years. After two years, the foreign national must file for Removal of Conditions to get a permanent resident card. At this time the foreign national and U.S. citizen should still be living together as a married couple. After five years of permanent residency, the foreign national may file for naturalization to become a U.S. Citizen.


Read more: California Immigration Marriage Laws | eHow

Perhaps he could desert this marriage, have it annulled, return to his country and then come up with a new plan to return legally if being here is the goal.
Hope that helps...