[recentdiscovery]

So i've been babbling on here since I joined a short time ago about my separation, etc etc. Well, yesterday my wife said she was ready to file. You know what? I was totally fine with it.



My wife and I started our relationship as best friends, and we are great friends, and we will always be great friends, but our personalities are just too different to make en effective life team. She is high strung, very active, very ambitious. I really appreciated that about her as i'm completely the opposite: I really just go with the wind and do things at my own pace. It was great I could learn things from her to utilize in situations when I needed it and I appreciate that.

HOWEVER

It's just not in her nature to "chill" like me. That doesn't make her better or worse, that's just the way she is. She could never stand that about me when "important" things came up and i'm all "yeah i'll get to it". I mean what she thought was important was not always important to me. These situations come up often when you are married for financial reasons, appointments, and all the grown up stuff you've got to do. All of our fights were because of this. We just weren't right for each other and I get it and that's fine. I wanted to take something from her to learn but I gave her nothing in return that she wanted, that was not her nature.

When we were out having fun, we had a ton of it usually, together. You know why? Because we didn't have to deal with real life. We were just having a good time. In the beginning this was all the time, honeymoon phase and all. We didn't really have to deal with all that real life stuff, it was a simpler time.

I have accepted that it is over, I am ok with it, and i'm totally looking forward to tomorrow and everywhere my life is going to take me from here. It was a learning experience and I learned a lot. She is a great woman and could do great things with the right partner and I totally hope she finds that guy and is truly happy. She is seeing someone now and i'm pretty sure she was before we were separated, and i'm fine with that, i've let go of the anger and jealousy that our human mind tells us to feel, that society tells us to feel. There is nothing to be done to change it and it is what it is, whether it is true or not. I know my partner is out there somewhere, and I will find her when i'm not looking, I have no doubt about that and I look forward to meeting her some day.

Pretty stoked about getting an apartment and totally man-caving it out. I'm renting a room right now so this is the first mission. Got lots of trips planned, going to Vegas with friends, roadtrips back home, etc, etc. I refuse to make this my worst year, if anything, it will be my best, because today is what you make it. YOU have that choice.

Anyway, all i'm saying is:

Acceptance is key, you can't change how another person feels, so don't waste your time feeling sorry for yourself. Do your grieving as I did, but don't spend too much time on it, life is short and there's billions of people on this planet, one of them will love you for who you are and accept you as you are, sick or healthy, happy, sad, angry, lazy or driven, whatever you may be. If you are getting divorced, breaking up, whatever, it's for a reason. Identify and accept that reason and free yourself, life is great once you do.

Just hope to bring a smile to someone's face today even if it's one person and I already did that because I made myself smile writing this. If you read it, thank you, I hope you took something from it.

Best of luck on your path whichever one you take.