[musicalsweety]

I recently asked my husband to move out of our home that we shared with our two boys. We have been married for almost 3 years. I discovered shortly after we were married that he had a severe sex and pornography addiction along with severe depression. We've tried support groups and such but he is continuing to lie and not commit to the process. The kids have found the pornography, he has left them unattended to take care of his needs and then he began to use them as pawns to get his way. A contract was developed and the result of violating that contract was being asked to leave the home. That happened and now he is pushing for a time frame to return home. It's hard because I also discovered that he has never been completely honest in his recovery and so each time that I thought we were making headway and moving forward it turns out he was just medicating a different way. I'm looking for a therapist to meet with but in the mean time I'm struggling because he is pushing for things that I can't see committing to at this time. I can use all the support and wisdom I can get... Any nuggets of gold out there for me?

[gayleggg]

Before he can recover from his sex and pornograpy addiction, he has to admitt that's what he is and seek help for himself. I recommend Sex Addicts Anonymous. Look at their website and see if there are any meetings close to you. Your husband has to accept responsibility for his actions. Chances of him changing this behavior without lots of psychological help is not very promising. He also needs to see a therapist that specializes in sexual addiction.

I hate to sound negative but being a former sex addict I know how hard it is to give up these activities. I still have to watch decisions I make to make sure I don't make excuses to return to the behavior. I, also, have severe depression which makes it even harder because you are so desparte to feel better any way you can. And it's not unsual to find another addiction to transfer to. Best wishes.

My husband stayed with me but things will never be the same. We should have called it quits then, now neither one of us cares enough to move on. We're just stuck.

[musicalsweety]

Thanks for your input. He does now see a therapist that specializes in addiction. He also apparently is now going to attend SAA. So we will see. I'm trying to remain optimistic but it's difficult.