[learningursula]

I was so happy when it was final, why? because I saw it as a chance to begin again first with myself, learn to appreciate myself all over again, and know that I no longer have someone else I have to be worried with. It was a chance to live again the way I want to!!!!
Its a brand new start, I believe we write our own story, so this time I am gonna be careful of the characters I select for my story. I am going to make sure I am happy first and foremost,because if I am not happy with myself I can't help to bring happiness to some one else.When it is time for all that, right now I am just enjoying doing ME,AND HAPPY AS CAN BE.

[Leed]

No you're not strange. I don't know the reason for your divorce, but I divorced my husband because he was an abusive bum!

I was gloriously happy after 26 years to be RID of him!! Finally I was FREE after having been controlled for so many years. My kids were grown, so he couldn't threaten me with taking them away from me anymore.

Finally I could be ME -- I could live my OWN life the way I wanted.

Now YOU can too! You don't have to answer to anyone. You can eat when you want to, IF you want to. You can sleep when you want to IF you want to. You can do any darn thing you want to -- the freedom is wonderful!

Sometimes marriage can feel like being in prison. Now you're free -- congratulations! Have a great life!

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Leed

You can eat when you want to, IF you want to. You can sleep when you want to IF you want to. You can do any darn thing you want to -- the freedom is wonderful!

So true, so true, so true!!!

I am eating fresh cream puffs now... believe that. And drinking chocolate milk. And being happy to be free from an extremely controlling/abusive person.

In a way, I have never been as happy as I am now, and happy with the tiniest little thing, and just able to savor the sunlight.

Until you have lived through hard times, you do not appreciate the freedom and happiness of being a human.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by learningursula

It was a chance to live again the way I want to!!!!

Its a brand new start, I believe we write our own story, so this time I am gonna be careful of the characters I select for my story. I am going to make sure I am happy first and foremost,because if I am not happy with myself I can't help to bring happiness to some one else.When it is time for all that, right now I am just enjoying doing ME,AND HAPPY AS CAN BE.

Your analogies, with stories and characters, are ... just so great that I am out of positive adjectives to describe them.

I wish you lots of luck writing the story without rushing it and while enjoying every step of the way.

Hi learningursula.

Recently, I was also divorced after a disastrous marriage that never should have been. I don't find it strange that you're happy at all. I was. I am enjoying freedoms I thought I'd never get back. It is so nice to be able to live my life MY way, as opposed to always having someone else to try and please.

I'm excited for you in this new chapter of your life!! Enjoy it, and if I may offer some advice, don't jump into a relationship right away. Savor this time and use it to do some TLC on yourself. It will be worth it when a new person comes along in your life!

Best to you.

Thats some powerful words full of strength. You do your thing and no its not a bad thing at all that you are happy that you are divorced. If you and your mate couldnt work things out life is wayy to short to waste it be with someone that makes you unhappy. You have found strength and wisdom where most would find weakness and failure. I give you two high fives. Good for you!

Not strange at all. I think I will be ecstatic when my divorce is final. I feel the same way about starting new.

[soxcatch]

After nearly 20 years of a toxic marriage it is refreshing. It's better to be out of the situation rather than to continue to tear each other apart.

[healingme4me]

I'm going on 3 years divorced, this summer. It's not just about a fresh start with someone, it's about a fresh start in life. Mine also, from a controlling abusive man. More power to you, for finding the positivity in this! A new book with new characters!! YES!!!

And to top it off, I received an annulment within 6 days, this past summer, that was spiritually rejuvenating, in and of itself

~F~

[ShaggyChic_1201]

I echo everything that the other posters have said. I am beaming with happiness and my only regret is that I didn't do this sooner.

I feel so good that I feel bad/guilty when I hear soon-to-be ex really suffering but I remind myself it's his turn to undergo a little suffering, IMO.

Stay strong my fellows! Stay strong and HAPPY!


Bub

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by soxcatch

After nearly 20 years of a toxic marriage it is refreshing. It's better to be out of the situation rather than to continue to tear each other apart.

Thank you very much for these words..... they are My Truth (we just had the "D" talk tonight).

[spondiferous]

If it's a bad situation, it's perfectly understandable to be happy about its dissolution.

[Nanodown]

I was happy when I filed but now it has been 18 months and he has dragged the divorce on and on. I am depressed now. I also switched jobs and do not like the new job. Basically, i HOPE to feel tremendous happiness and relief when we are finally divorced but worry that I will not. He is a controlling abuser who is using the legal system and the divorce to continue to punish me for leaving him. Do you think I will feel happier when it is finally over?

[Preslee.Denton]

Congrats on your divorce. I'm getting mine on the 20th of this month, I'm excited too. It's a chance to start fresh and maybe someone who actually gives a crap about me.

[Mike_J]

It sounds normal and reasonable to me.

Good luck on your new and improved life.....

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Nanodown

I was happy when I filed but now it has been 18 months and he has dragged the divorce on and on. I am depressed now. I also switched jobs and do not like the new job. Basically, i HOPE to feel tremendous happiness and relief when we are finally divorced but worry that I will not. He is a controlling abuser who is using the legal system and the divorce to continue to punish me for leaving him. Do you think I will feel happier when it is finally over?

Did you know, that this use of the judicial system is noted in the ABA's(American Bar Association) judges guide to child custody law, as textbook of domestic abuse???

I bet you'll feel relief, to not be walking on broken glass around him, once final.