[Herdaughter]

I'm writing since I know if I don't turn somewhere I'll go back to my relationship which has no real future, is holding me back, and turns my life upside down all the time. It is the most tumultuous relationship I have ever had, but neither of us can ever really let go. Most of me hopes that this last bit of emotional drama may finally be the end. We've been through this so many times that my friends roll their eyes when we fight/make up. I suppose it's part and parcel of what's made it passionate and kept us wrapped up in it, but in reality I have to move on. It's just that I still love him and when either of us thinks of parting for good it makes us feel physically ill.

I've resolved over and over and over again to not call, not write, and then we always do. But after a number of years 'together' and with all the chaos it's created for me and everyone I care about, it needs to be done. It is much more damaging to my life than his. Again, we will never be able to be together because of distance and due to the untenable obstacles that life has seen to thrown at us. It's so hard when you love someone and it's so wonderful when everything is good between us. It's like no relationship I've ever had, or ever will have, and the thought of it gone for good makes my life feel very empty.

So I just needed to write out my feelings, what I'm going through, because without him I'm left without.. just without. He's changed my life in so many beautiful ways too and I've experienced adventures beyond what I could have ever imagined. Now though, well, the rest of my life is suffering, I'm getting very emotionally worn down, and the right thing to do would be let go. For both our sakes. I have to stay strong and not call, not write this time. It's painful and the ups and downs over the years make it difficult to believe that this time should be the end of it. I do still love him which is rather inconvenient.

[Herdaughter]

Thank you

[catsrhelm]

Read Are You the One for Me?. It will help you sort out your feelings and get over the pain.

[Weatherly217]

How long were you together

[Herdaughter]

Originally Posted by catsrhelm

Read Are You the One for Me?. It will help you sort out your feelings and get over the pain.

Thank you, I'll look into it!

[profound_betrayal]

Originally Posted by Herdaughter

I'm writing since I know if I don't turn somewhere I'll go back to my relationship which has no real future, is holding me back, and turns my life upside down all the time. It is the most tumultuous relationship I have ever had, but neither of us can ever really let go. Most of me hopes that this last bit of emotional drama may finally be the end. We've been through this so many times that my friends roll their eyes when we fight/make up. I suppose it's part and parcel of what's made it passionate and kept us wrapped up in it, but in reality I have to move on. It's just that I still love him and when either of us thinks of parting for good it makes us feel physically ill.

I've resolved over and over and over again to not call, not write, and then we always do. But after a number of years 'together' and with all the chaos it's created for me and everyone I care about, it needs to be done. It is much more
damaging to my life than his. Again, we will never be able to be together because of distance and due to the untenable obstacles that life has seen to thrown at us. It's so hard when you love someone and it's so wonderful when everything is good between us. It's like no relationship I've ever had, or ever will have, and the thought of it gone for good makes my life feel very empty.

So I just needed to write out my feelings, what I'm going through, because without him I'm left without.. just without. He's changed my life in so many beautiful ways too and I've experienced adventures beyond what I could have ever imagined. Now though, well, the rest of my life is suffering, I'm getting very emotionally worn down, and the right thing to do would be let go. For both our sakes. I have to stay strong and not call, not write this time. It's painful and the ups and downs over the years make it difficult to believe that this time should be the end of it. I do still love him which is rather inconvenient.

'Emotionally worn down' is not good, is information. Time for closure before 'total emotional collapse' - Avoid writing or calling him until stronger. You are too vulnerable. I am trying now as well re: inevitable separation.

Can you go walking when nervous anxiety builds up? Or write exactly what you feel in a journal? Do you like gardening? Other ??! There is chat here if your support network is weak

I know about the listlessness - night time crying, overall sadness ...
You need to try to stay busy (easier said than done I know).

All is so hurtful. I have been discarded. I cleaned up the other day, did laundry and then gardened to help with the nervous tension & heartbreak I was experiencing. It depends on what works for you (?) - what you like. Sometimes it works - other times - not, but one day it will, so I keep trying.
Take care of yourself (the reason I walk)