 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Jun 01, 2014, 11:24 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
So despite my desire to keep control of the situation I told my husband last week that I would no longer be supervising his visits with the boys. They've had one visit unsupervised to this point. So he sends me this email this weekend telling me a whole list of concerns about my oldest (not his biological child) most of which are rediculous, then he doesn't call him tonight as he stayed he would. And then has the nerve to try to set up visits for this week saying he wants one of them to be only with my oldest. And keep in mind he doesn't ask me how I would feel about it or if I'm ok with it he just tells me. Yea I don't think so buddy you've got another thing coming if you think I'm going to be ok with that. He seems to be more ballsy since our separation including emailing my parents behind my back and trying to drag them in. I just want this all to be over
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
|
#2
Jun 01, 2014, 11:49 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Musicalsweety are you sure he is trustworthy enough for un-supervised visits? It doesn't sound like it to me. I also hope the kids are not being used as pawns which happens so often in these kinds of things. I don't know...but if it were me I don't think I would agree to let him have the kids alone. When he is doing things behind your back just trying to cause trouble is not a good sign.
|
|
#3
Jun 01, 2014, 11:50 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Thanks I agree with you. While I don't think physically they are in danger I do question mentally and emotionally
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
|
#4
Jun 02, 2014, 11:35 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Clearly there is a reason for the supervised visits.
He needs to abide by your rules, not the other way around. Don't let him dictate terms to you about visitation.
__________________
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi |
|
#5
Jun 02, 2014, 02:16 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Why would you decided to not supervise visits? I assume this was part of the divorce and custody agreement. If the court thought he should have on supervised visits I would make sure all visits were supervised if not by me at least by someone I trusted.
__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha  |
|
#6
Jun 02, 2014, 02:19 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
We haven't done anything in court. We are only separated. I was hoping it would show some good faith. He has been consistent thus far with the kids. I wanted to honor that. Now I'm second guessing after the verbal shaming he just gave me
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
|
#7
Jun 02, 2014, 02:34 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Well naturally, you wouldn't want to be the one conducting the supervision. It's difficult and costly to get a third party visitation center, in place. Those are usually good for children at risk due to extenuating circumstances. By you, being the supervisor, it keeps you at an arms length, to him. Though statistics may show, abuse relationships can trickle down, to the children, one doesn't want to appear, as not fostering the non custodial parents relationship with the children.
Also, if he's going to take, just one, this time, he needs to share that one on one time. I do question, his parental rights to visit a child that isn't his, biologically? Hope you can reach an amicable solution. You are allowed to file for child support, even if other papers aren't filed, since he's moved out. Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk |
|
#8
Jun 02, 2014, 02:59 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
He legally doesn't have rights to the oldest. I'm allowing the relationship to continue for the benefit of the oldest in case we ever reconciled.
I was supervising the visits. As long as they are in public places I don't feel they need to be supervised. I basically told him I wasn't comfortable at this times separating the two. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
|
#9
Jun 03, 2014, 04:56 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Are you considering reconciliation? I hear you about it's all the kids, not just one.
Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk |
|
#10
Jun 03, 2014, 05:46 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I sent this today to him after he finally sent me his established plan for recovery (which is nothing new)
"Going forward I identified today with my counselor that while it is my hope and desire that we are able to reconcile I have a significant amount of wounds and resentment that I need to work through and heal from in this situation. To do that I need the space I've asked for. That includes our email communication. I would like to ask that other than pick up times, location and schedule that there not be extra communication or details shared. I realize I haven't held that boundary well but I will be starting now. When I am ready for the possibility of more conversation I will let you know. " Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
|
#11
Jun 03, 2014, 05:47 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I would like to be considering reconciliation but right now I can't grasp that at all
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
