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#1
Jul 04, 2016, 06:01 PM
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Hi all,
My wife left about two weeks ago to stay with her mom for a while. Since then she has been calling and texting me everyday. We've talked more while she is gone than we do when we are together. Just a month ago, she said a separation would be best and our 23-year marriage wasn't working anymore... Now she's wanting to move back in....  I'm very confused by all of this. Nothing has really changed, except that our phone calls have been civil...Anyone care to share advice or thoughts?? Thanks !! |
 Anonymous48850, Lost_in_the_woods, Yours_Truly
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#2
Jul 04, 2016, 10:05 PM
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Maybe she is having a change of heart and feels that she owes your marriage one last serious effort?
__________________
"The woods are lovely, dark, and deep But I have promises to keep And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep" |
 Mid-Life-Larry
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#3
Jul 05, 2016, 05:25 AM
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Maybe being away from you, she realized that she did have feelings for you that she didn't realize when she was constantly around you.
But....if there is something that irritates her, coming back might just bring it up again, but then at least you know what to work on in marriage counseling. Honestly, when I left my H, I never looked back & I never wanted to go back. The several times that I had left prior to the time when I finally left, I only went back because it was MY house also & I didn't feel I should be the one that had to leave (went to my horse trainers ranch at first, then to my Mom's several times).....but I never went back because I wanted to be with him......so maybe you might want to know why she wants to come back? Just a thought from personal experience. I was financially trapped in the marriage until the last time when I finally just walked out. My mother had died of cancer & I was able to sell her home & leave for good the last time, no longer financially trapped after 33 years in the marriage.
__________________
 Leo's favorite place was in the passenger seat of my truck. We went everywhere together like this. Leo my soulmate will live in my heart FOREVER Nov 1, 2002 - Dec 16, 2018 |
| Mid-Life-Larry
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#4
Jul 06, 2016, 12:57 PM
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Perhaps the distance has opened her eyes a bit. After being in a relationship for a long time, we grow comfortable and tend to think that nothing could go wrong anymore. The way things are is the way they will stay. Unfortunately, this can lead to partners slacking in the relationship. Perhaps they stop communicating as well, or maybe they don't make the grand gestures anymore. We can fall into this bad habit of not appreciating what we truly have. Maybe she has started to realize this as she sees how life is without you. You are right, it does not change everything; however, it is a start. You could see how she feels about couples counseling, and continue to communicate with her.
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| Mid-Life-Larry
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#5
Jul 06, 2016, 11:55 PM
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I have to agree with the others. It sounds like she's hoping to work on things. Sometimes women feel like they have to send a very strong message to make men understand. (Sorry)
Ask her straight up. That's what I think. And be honest about what u want. Wishing u the best. |
| Mid-Life-Larry
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#6
Jul 13, 2016, 03:25 PM
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My advice is to take things extremely slow. In my work I have seen many couples in this type of situation. It is so hard to know what she is thinking, even if she is talking to you. Take your time and consider what you honestly want.
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| Mid-Life-Larry
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#7
Jul 27, 2016, 11:33 AM
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Quote:
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| eskielover, Mid-Life-Larry
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#8
Jul 27, 2016, 11:53 AM
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She might have had a good talk with her mother who convinced her to give it another try. She might have had a sobering experience checking out the dating scene.
Do you want her to move back? Do you want to work on the marriage?
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
| Mid-Life-Larry
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#9
Jul 28, 2016, 05:08 AM
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Thanks for all the comments.... looks like we will be taking a break from the marriage for a while.
It's just such a freakin roller coaster of emotion. some days I'm excited and looking forward to a new life... other times it feels VERY sad... and other times I feel used and upset. Freakin roller coaster!!!! |
| TishaBuv
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#10
Jul 28, 2016, 10:29 AM
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Me too. But the baby merry-go-round is boring.
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
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