[Melodeee]

Need advice, I've been married for almost 30 years. My husband and I have had disagreements about everything and separated for 6 weeks. Things haven't improved due to both of use feeling a mess and if things would ever get better. But we both always new we loved each other.
While by accident my husband confessed to me he has developed feelings for his hair stylist. He hasn't acted on them or even told her of them. I flew off the handle. He kept telling me we can work thru this. But of course I told him to go be with her and broke a glass and so on. The next day he told me that he needs to explore this. But hasn't made a decision what he wants to do. But if we stay together he not willing to give their friendship up. He told me she listen to him and builds him up and I don't. What can I do to help him to choose me and work on our problems help

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Melodeee

Need advice, I've been married for almost 30 years. My husband and I have had disagreements about everything and separated for 6 weeks. Things haven't improved due to both of use feeling a mess and if things would ever get better. But we both always new we loved each other.
While by accident my husband confessed to me he has developed feelings for his hair stylist. He hasn't acted on them or even told her of them. I flew off the handle. He kept telling me we can work thru this. But of course I told him to go be with her and broke a glass and so on. The next day he told me that he needs to explore this. But hasn't made a decision what he wants to do. But if we stay together he not willing to give their friendship up. He told me she listen to him and builds him up and I don't. What can I do to help him to choose me and work on our problems help

You can't make others to choose you. But you can control your own choices. I recommend couples therapy as a start

[gayleggg]

Definitely go for marriage counseling. This can be overcome.

[toolman65]

Just because he has feelings for her does not mean she has feelings for him.

She listens to him and builds him up so she can get a better tip. This is life in the service industry. Unless they have met outside of the salon, i would chalk this up as a fantasy on his part.

He hasn't acted on this because, right now , she is perfect. There is no rejection and in his mind, he is the only guy that this woman "builds up". She doesn't want anything from him...she doesn't fart in bed, etc.

consider your options outside of letting him "explore this".