Stessed out!!!!

Super stressed out, try and explain!

Ive been married for 10 years and my wife got pregnant very early on in our relationship our son is 9! After he was born my wife changed and became incredibly controlling in terms of how our son was raised and my every day since then seems to have been defined by her.

We live in her country and Ive always struggled to find work due to my language and always missed home etc My son was diagnosed with autism which we handed well as a couple but my wife put out like a 3 page email to everyone we know with do's and don't s with or son which didnt go down too well.

Ive always struggled to have a acceptable balance outside of my relationship. My wife would block the door stopping me from leaving the house so I would miss work flights or see friends (always been faithful). I would have to negotiate to bring my whole family on work assignments or seeing my family, or I would get messages from the in-laws saying I need to come home as my wife was stressed etc.

My parents and sister have always struggled to find there place due to these issues. one time my wife snatched our baby son out of my mothers arms and its pretty much been down hill since then.

After 8 years of this xmas 2015 I booked a flight on boxing day to see my family alone and Im still getting ***** for it 18 months on. My parents came to visit last summer and I had to convince them to come because of my wife's (my wife takes huge offense if her career or parenting authority if even mildly touched on even in general coversation). I got angry with my wife as she took my daughter out when my parents were here for like 3 hours, I challenged her on this and got like 20 texts about about how she is entitled, of course she is but I have a problem when its like a power struggle don't have an opinion. I made the mistake of losing my cool and holding her by the arms arms as she came home all guns blazing. Anyway the **** went down as her parents raced over 2hrs away and Im the bad guy.

My sister came for xmas for 6 weeks which I was worried about as my sister has bad her issues too, still lives at home etc. My wife is very possessive and hated that I would spend time with my sister alone. My wife went through my sisters phone for weeks and found a email which my sister told my mum that my wife treats me like crap and she wanted to hurt her (like in a fun way. My wife basically went to report this to the police!! I warned my sister to stay cool but my wife basically unlocked a door to confront my sister, my sister felt like she would never see my kids again lost control and threw a glass at my wife. MY wife have the police on speed dial and they soon arrived, I told the police I was taking my wife to a hotel. We left and I go so much crap saying I had fled the police!

I flew home with my sister and spent a few weeks with my family and friends. I didnt trust my wife after this and setup a 2nd email to contact my family etc My wife changed all my passwords and signed me out of whatsapp, took my phone and took control of the bank etc I also posted on another forum she saw that from my 2nd email address and posted her side (I have zero outlet). Most people said I cant expose my kids to this environment and my wife doesn't take responsibility for her actions.

I feel like no matter what way to look at things make me sad. My parents dont want to visit my sister isnt allowed!! Even facetime is akward as my wife will come and hug me etc like its a pretense. My wife wants me to stay close for the kids who I adore and have dedicated my last 9 years too but I feel that Im always gonna have to jump through hoops and never be allowed to travel with them etc

It is sad when the choices we made for our life which seemed sobright at the time turned out so bad over time. I am so sad that you are going through this in a country you arent even really comfortable with the language which probably means customs are different also.

I dont have any GOOD solution. Sometimes when we have just had enough & get pushed to our limit than action is forced on us.

I left a bad marriage after 33 years. It was bad from the beginning. After leaving, a T helped me understand that I had been living with a H who was on the Autistic spectrum....higher functioning till the end....& having a dad who was that way too, I didnt recognize the issue until it finally got too much for me to deal with. Our daughter was grown & out of the house by then.

Tough decisions & kids always are our highest priority.

You are definitely in a difficult situation with someone almost impossible to live with.

(Hm, hust a thought, is your wife maybe on the autistic spectrum, it does sometimes run in the family & outbursts can possibly be a part ofthe behavior).

Keep posting as you are able. One thing I found is that expressing my issues helped me formulate my thoughts into action.

Welcome to PC.