[Navymomds]

I am in search of advice I hope somebody here can help me out and I'm a make a long story short my husband and I have been married going on 15 years and this is our second time my husband and I have a very complicated past we met very young got married the first time very young and me coming from a abusive childhood my husband showed me love that I have never seen before and I was frightened of it so needless to say our first time being married was short-lived we are married maybe a year and I had given birth to our son and asked for a divorce I haven't fought our divorce for but eventually gave in

About a year later I came back and wanted forgiveness and I wanted to reconcile we did again short-lived he left and went back to the person he was in a relationship with we were divorced for seven years were in contact obviously because of our son. We both eventually remarried I was married for five of the seven and he was married for four of the seven after seven years with reconcile once again but this time I had a four-year-old little girl and he had a son who was about a year younger than our son so about nine at the time

At first I marriage was absolutely fantastic it was everything that we both had been hoping for but we're too young back then well me anyway shortly after we got married in 2002 my husband's mother died in 2005 my husband at that point consumed himself of guilt and before I knew it years have passed and he never came out of it for the past five years it's really affected our relationship to the point where we both have emotionally abandoned our marriage we have no sex life to speak of and we speak to each other pretty much never so I finally had enough of trying to talk to him and being shut out and ignored and not taken serious I asked my husband for separation and told him that I felt we needed some time apart to work on what was happening and where we have become in our marriage

So he complied and he has been gone since May 25 we have spoke we have agreed that we would work on our communication and our issues and feelings with one another I have been refused to go to counseling his reasoning was he did not want to go because he did not want to be judged because he had enough people in his life doing that I did not make an issue out of it I simply suggested that we print out communication and relationship assessments fill them out and then discuss them together since he has been gone my husband has not one time showed me any type of behavior to back up what his words are saying he says that he loves me he says that he wants to work it out but every time I bring up how I am feeling he doesn't want to discuss it he has not once reached out to me for any type of communication it's always me reaching out to him first I have expressed my feelings to him that when he acts like that I feel like he does not care and that he is relieved that I asked for the separation because a part of me believes that he's wanted out for a long time and just didn't want to make the decision himself he didn't want that bad guy image so he waited and knew that I would get fed up with his behavior and that I would make a move which I did by asking for the separation

Device that I'm after is is it me or am I crazy because to me he is not showing any type of behavior of someone who wants to be in a marriage and is in love with his wife I'm the one who asked for the separation but yet I'm the one who is constantly reaching out wanting to save what we have left if we have anything left because as time keeps going on I still don't see any change in his behavior when I bring it to his attention he doesn't want to discuss it so what do I do can anybody give me their opinion does it sound like he actually wants out but doesn't want to be the one to say it and is just buying his time knowing if he keeps acting the way that he's acting that I will pretty much give up and be done with it and the worst part is already done he's already out of the house so he's one step closer to freedom please anyone if they could give me some advice would be greatly appreciated I love my husband deeply and want to save our marriage if there's any hope I am willing to do whatever it takes to try to fix what we had

[Molinit]

One person (you) cannot fix this. You've got nothing to work with here. Just file and be done with it.

Also. DO NOT MARRY HIM AGAIN. Because I'm sure you'll keep seeing him and somehow he will try to talk you into it.

[eskielover]

Why do you want so save a relationship like that just because it became a marriage (for the second time)?

Time to start making WISE DECISIONS, not ones just based on your emotions.